What's Wrong With This Picture

[sexycoastmedic]

Well about 2 years ago I was broken hearted and found this site on the web. It helped me out tremendously, teaching me the importance of the N-Contact, moving on, and the other essential tools one needs to successfully get over a breakup. This helped me so much that I decided to give you guys an update of how Im doing and maybe ask for a little further advice...... Well about a year after the relationship I was finally over it ..... I started getting excited about my life again, and looking forward to my dreams. Basically what I did is what I like to call "fell back in love with myself, again" because for the longest I had lost myself in that relationship. Well here it is 2 years later and Im successful enjoying life been in and out of another relationship since but nothing as serious. My problem is this here within the last 2 weeks I've been reminiscing? I've been thinking about my ex alot lately wondering where we would be had it not ended. I've talked to him and even visited him as friends. Why am I, 2 years later still having feelings for him.... Granted they are not devestating feelings like I used to have that caused me not to function or ruined my week completely. All in all they are still feelings ..... I chalk it up to it being the time of year that we had broken up and maybe I'm subconsciously going through that pain on a smaller scale again......I would like to know what you guys think, and for the veterans of break ups will I ever completely be free of him?

Thanks for the support

~D~

[friscodj]

Hey sexycoastmedic-

 

Welcome to ENA!

 

Well, I think it's normal to have residual feelings for someone with whom you were close, even years later. I have felt that way in the past, and know others who have as well...

 

Let me ask you this, how do you feel about this guy and what do you want him to be to you?

 

Do I think you will ever be 100% free of him? No, you will always have the memories. But, what you do with these memories is within your control and affects your feelings. If you choose to reflect on the past, start wondering "what if", some feelings may come back. Do you want these feelings? If so, you should share them with him and see how he feels. If not or if you do and they are not reciprocated, go NC again and really move on this time...

[tiki]

D- im going through the exact same thing. My breakup was two years ago and I still think about him all the time. I've had a few flings too...but i can't seem to take it one step further than that.

 

It would be great to call him out of the blue and "share your feelings" (according to FRISCODJ) but you run the risk of getting hurt the second time. It's just not worth it (in my opinion)

 

Memories are a * * * * *. Amnesia sounds pretty appealing sometimes =)

[GottaLetItBurn]

I'm really glad to hear that. It has took me 6 months, i've been really over it for about 2 weeks since I could feel that change. I also hope to have that feeling like if I run into that they aren't stong feelings.

 

I have to tell you I have thought about it a lot about what you said about having some feelings. The answer is that has to be completely normal, it's a feeling that you may not be able to explain. It's there though and you recognize it.

 

Will you completely get rid of him? Probably. I mean you probably didn't think at the time you could feel normal and happy at the time of the break up. All that pain and your head was in a confused place. The thing is though, you did heal.

 

I think you will get over him, just will take more time. You have a right to feel the way you do still. People can't help it if a feeling returns when they see someone they used to care for so much. It's human nature, and your perfectly fine.

 

The fact that it isn't eating away at you means that you definatly have matured. Hope everything continues to work out for you.

[kadvati79]

Amnesia sounds pretty appealing sometimes =)

 

Alas, it doesnt always work that way. I had Anterograde Amnesia after a bad motorbike accident (trouble making new memories) for months afterwards. Still have some problems with things today. But, I would still remember how I felt about someone... it was weird. I would have no recollection of meeting someone I had met after the accident but i would instantly remember how I felt about them.

 

Incidentally, during the period I was worst affected - I broke up with my then partner and moved to a new city... I have basically no recollection of that entire three month period except for a few little scraps. No recollection of breakup up with him at all!

[sexycoastmedic]

Yeah basically i've had to do the NC thing again ... except unlike the last time when we decided to be friends.... that won't happen this time... ill just clear him out of my life.... If I could give the memories back just to keep my life on track I would, but Im dealing, Im okay.... thanks for the encouragement though....

[sexycoastmedic]

You guys have really lifted my spirits once more, Im glad I decided to find this website again..... I think this time I need more for future encouragement and that is deffinately what Im getting .... I hope that I can do or say something that helps out someone else through my experience..... you people on here are the best healing helpers........ thanks bunches.......