18 and 15?

[sweetsurrender]

i'm an 18 year old girl and interested in pursuing a relationship with a 15 year old boy. we have kissed and made out before and have felt guilty. i have racked my brains over this because it is truly a dilemma to me. 3 years may not mean much in the future (such as 21 and 24), but right now is he too young to handle a relationship with an 18 year old? was i wrong in kissing him or is it not that much of an age difference? thanks for your help

[ElektraHere]

Sweets end this now. Not only can you go to jail for pursuing this but at 15 this boy shouldnt even have to worry about things like this.

18 and 15 seem like a small age gap but mentally it is a gap that is more than a few years. Kissing him was wrong and should never happen again.

 

Move on and leave the boy to enjoy being a 15 year old.

[DN]

Yes, he is too young, in my opinion. Big dufference from 15 - 18.

 

What do yousee in a 15 year old that you cannot find in someone your own age.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Ya know Sweet, this is always a tough call at those ages but I do think you should look into the laws in your state. Mostly because you are considered an adult at 18. A lot of states list the age of consent at 16 although some are 14.

 

If you really like him and see this as a possible relationship, surely you can wait a year or two while remaining friends. Seems silly at this age I know. Three years isn't an age gap worth mentioning most of the time. I am three years older than my husband. But for you, as an adult who is three years older than a minor...most states have laws. I suggest you look into your state's laws.

[italianstalian]

i see nothin wrong with this besides the "legal" issue......i think you should pursue it. Your both still young so if you want to be with him then you should be able to. And no, you shouldnt feel bad at all about kissing him

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

When I was 17, (younger 17, as I still am 17!) I was with a 14 year old.

 

Now, he's 15. And Ill be 18 in a few weeks.

 

Im not saying it's wrong, just often...inconvenient. You dont know about pushing sexual stuff; it's very difficult. His parents won't be wild on it. My boyfriend was very much in control and mature and I dont feel guilty at all.

 

My own story ended badly as I fell in love with him and he with me but we couldnt be together, my heart was smashed. That was about 10 months ago and I still cry over him sometimes.

[Bethany]

You are a woman and he is a boy that's why it isn't right to continue with this. Don't go there. If it was meant to be, you will meet up in the future.

[Mrocza]

Get there before the hair.

[Hope75]

link removed

 

At 15 he is too young for you- it is illegal to have sex with him and if his parents choose to press charges you could go to jail.

 

Not worth it.

[sweetsurrender]

thank you all for your help, i'm definitely not pursuing this with him any further and frankly feel bad for pursuing it at all.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Sweet - I don't think you should feel guilty or ashamed or badly at all. You're 18, he's just three years younger. And if he's a mature 15, its all the more difficult to figure out. Maybe you just turned 18 and he's on the about to turn 16 side of 15.

 

I say no harm no foul.

 

Don't be so hard on yourself, you did nothing wrong. You didn't even break the law. I think eveyone here is just saying be careful that you don't.

 

There is no law preventing an 18 year old from befriending a 15 year old and in 2 or 3 years none of this will matter.

[AwdreeHpburn]

fairie 16 - what exactly do you mean, get there before the hair?

 

Kinda creeps me out to be honest.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

theres an old saying about grass on the field, i'm thinking thats what she was referring to. although i do find it rather creepy myself.

[coollady1957]

I would think long and hard about pursing anything beyond just friends. And I do mean purely platonic, friends only, no making out, no kissing and no sex. The making out could lead to sexual activity. I may be wrong but I think your states age of consent is 18 yrs old. If this is the case and you had sexual relationship with him it would be statutory rape. You could get in to lots of trouble.

[coollady1957]

I dont understand that post from fairie16 either. I get an idea of what she meant but not sure why it would be proper to see it that way. But as always we all have our own opinions and thoughts.

[coollady1957]

THis is what I found about the grass on the field comment.

 

 

1. If there's grass on the field, play ball

 

A term basically saying that it's alright to at least be attracted to a person as long as they've gone past puberty. Obviously "grass" refers to their "bush" or pubic hair. Would typically be applied to, for instance, a girl maybe 13 years old and up. Can often be used in reference to actual sex (intercourse) but not necessarily.Man#1: What's the youngest chick you would ever be into at your age? I mean what do you think is "okay" to fantasize about?

 

Man#2: Hey man. Like my coach always said: if there's grass on the field, it's time to play ball.

[tyler711]

I met my fiancee at 17, and she was a few years younger. I'm 19 now and she 17, engaged to be married in a year. I've broken probably every statutory age law, and frankly I could care less. I'm in love, and I'd love to see anyone try and stop me from feeling that. Nothing is more frustrating than people assuming you're ignorant because of your age, or your maturity is not up to par with someone older. My situation may differ from yours, but if you want this then take it. Don't jump on the hypocrisy bandwagon so fast. I've seen plenty of happy (now married) couples that started out the same way.

[Mrocza]

Eek...wow, sorry guys.

 

Simply a sarcastic remark. Ya...i was referring to the "If there's grass on the field, play ball..." kind of thing...

 

It was a joke, meant to be taken lightly. I'm usually the butt of the joke actually, since my bf is 5 years older than me. I hear the worst of it, and as creepy as that was, it gets worse!

 

I'm sorry if I offended anyone. *blush*

[coollady1957]

tyler I dont think its the fact that some one assumes you are ignorant or lack maturity due to age . Its evident that some younger people are more mature and have more mature thoughts than some older people. THe main point is the laws. THe laws dont care who is individually smarter or mature. Fact remains that if a parent or guardian get upset enough over a relationship where one of the persons is of consent age, and the other is not, then people can be in real trouble.

[coollady1957]

Fairie16 , I dont think you actually offended anyone. It was a matter of I think you may have said it a bit backwards, when you said " get there BEFORE the hair. which made is seem that getting sexual with a "barely there" person that has maybe just gotten to puberty, or before. Puberty however doesnt follow state laws. I agree that there is no age limit on feelings or love sometimes. But there can be lots of legal issues with age differences until some one becomes the age of consent.

Personally I think the state laws should be followed just for safety sake , on the age of consent, due to the fact of some one getting in deep trouble if some one decides to press charges for statutory rape.

[sidehop]

Well who knows what may happen couples years down the road. You two may meet out of the blue in the future... As much as some people may seem mature and responsible, you just can't ignore the fact that he's young and like everyone mentioned you don't ever want statutory rape on your record.

[Northern Raccoon]

At this point the age gap is way to big. but latter on in tlife 3 years is not that much. there is way to much of a maturity gasp. You were not wrong for kissing him. But you should look for someone that is closer in age to you.

[ryanbrasier]

in the other posts they say girls mature faster so him being that much younger is wrong

[ryanbrasier]

i mean 15 year old boys are imature and horny