candykisses Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Does a guy wait until he is sure there is mutual interest (however long that takes) before he makes his move? Or does he ask her out asap, say..within a month of knowing her, if he's interested? If a guy doesn't ask her out within the first couple of months is it safe to assume he's not interested in dating her? Link to comment
ShySoul Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 All depends on the guy. If it hasn't happened in a couple months, odds are there isn't interest at the time. However, if he is really shy or not comfortable asking a girl out, then he may just be afraid and do like you. Or he may not be interested at the time, but that doesn't mean he won;t develop feelings later on. Some guys will go and ask a girl at the slightest hint that there is any small chance of something. Some wait to develop a friendship first. No real rule on how long a guy waits. But if you are interested in a guy, why wait for them to come to you? You can always go to them. Link to comment
friscodj Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 I think it all depends man. Sometimes, two people meet one time, start dating, and that's it. Other times, two people know each other for years before getting serious... I think your answer lies in what your intuition tells you and the situation. For example, you might be out and see someone who you may never see again if you don't get her contact information. Other times (sounds like the case here), you guys have some connection to where you see each other often (like school, sports, job, etc.). The bottom line I think is to feel it out and trust your intuition. You've got to look past the fear of rejection, the nervousness, anticipation, etc. and basically just do what you think you should do... Link to comment
candykisses Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 we go to the same college... we met 2 weeks ago...and so far we've seen each other at school like 3 times and talked maybe twice i think he's interested but i've been acting terribly shy...when i saw him staring at me i quickly looked away, and another time my friend pointed out that he kept staring at me as i walked by but i was too shy so i didn't look back and just kept on walking should i act a little more interested? lol he's not a shy guy though...and i figured if he likes me he will ask me out eventually Link to comment
friscodj Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 should i act a little more interested? Yes!.... Link to comment
ShySoul Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Are you shy? Do you normally act that way around a guy you are interested in? If you have only seen each other three times, talked twice, its still hard to tell. Though him looking is a good sign. Try talking to him more and being more open with him, a little less shy. Though if you are naturally shy, thats ok. Plenty of guys like shyness in there girls. More you talk and get to know each other, sooner he'll probably ask you out. Link to comment
candykisses Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 ^i think i am naturally a shy person but there are times when i don't feel shy at all and would just approach a random guy and start talking...and i have a lot of guy friends and most of my friends are guys..i have like no girl friends except for a few close ones...guys have asked me if i manhandle every guy and told me they thought i'm just friendly with every guy... but with THIS guy...i clam up. for example the first time we talked, he asked me if i'm interested in anyone after he found out i don't have a bf...and i answered something stupid (i said i wasnt interested in anyone)..normally i would be all flirty but i don't know why when it comes to a guy i like, i get so shy what can i do to show him i like him and not those other guys he sees me talking to? how to let him know its ok to make a move and i wont reject him...(cuz he was with me when i rejected a guy who randomly hit on me asking me out and he saw it all, so he might be scarred..haha) Link to comment
Magic_Monkey Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 I know you're shy, but you could always ask him. I know that's easier said than done, I'm pretty shy so I know but I'd absolutely love it if a girl asked me out instead of the other way round. Why do girls feel they have to do something to make a bloke ask them out rather than just do the asking themselves? Link to comment
ShySoul Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 It's ok candykisses. I'm generally shy too, though I'm able to converse well most times. And I find that I get along better with girls then guys. But when it comes to talking with the girls I have liked over the years, I've frozen as well. It's different when its someone you really like. You start to worry about every little thing and wondering what they will think of you. You are afraid of saying the wrong thing or sounding stupid. You play out all kinds of scenarios in your head, good and bad. It's all ok and natural. You could always ask him, and if all else fails, go with that. But odds are you aren't ready for that. Start small. Go up to him and ask him how he is. Start a conversation. Realize that he wants to talk to you and enjoys it. You have many interesting things to say and you can have fun talking to him. Just that little step can help break the ice. Once the conversation starts to flow, things should go easier and he'll hopefully get the message. You could, if you are feeling brave, even casually ask what he's going to be up to on the weekend. Not like you are asking to do something with him, just that you are curious about his plans. Also, smile and be interested in the conversation, which odds are you will anyways. And believe in yourself. You can do this. So try not to be that nervous, though a little nervousness is just fine. Good luck. Link to comment
candykisses Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 ^will do =) I know that's easier said than done, I'm pretty shy so I know but I'd absolutely love it if a girl asked me out instead of the other way round. Why do girls feel they have to do something to make a bloke ask them out rather than just do the asking themselves? some traditions last through time for a reason....in my experience things have always turned out better when the guy have asked me out rather than me chasing after a guy...and with this current guy, he is not shy at all. if he's interested, he will ask me out. If he's not, me asking him out won't change how he feels about me. So i believe girls should just give the "green light" and guys do the asking. Link to comment
friscodj Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 some traditions last through time for a reason....in my experience things have always turned out better when the guy have asked me out rather than me chasing after a guy...and with this current guy, he is not shy at all. if he's interested, he will ask me out. If he's not, me asking him out won't change how he feels about me. So i believe girls should just give the "green light" and guys do the asking. I don't think asking him out once constitutes "chasing" him. You're showing interest, taking initiative, then it's on him...OK? Link to comment
ShySoul Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 I don't think asking him out once constitutes "chasing" him. You're showing interest, taking initiative, then it's on him...OK? Agreed. One time isnt chasing. And what if the green light that girls give off aren't picked up by the guy? So many people post wondering if something a person did is a sign they are interested, and it can be so hard to tell. What one person considers a signal, another may not. A lot of guesswork can be saved if one person, regardless of gender, just takes the inititive and asks. Link to comment
Süsser Tod Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 what can i do to show him i like him and not those other guys he sees me talking to? how to let him know its ok to make a move and i wont reject him...(cuz he was with me when i rejected a guy who randomly hit on me asking me out and he saw it all, so he might be scarred..haha) Its not THAT hard, but just be yourself around him. That shyness may give him the wrong signals. Link to comment
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