baddasslegend92 Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 Hi all I met this girl on a online dating site about a month ago and decided to finally go and see her.We hit it off very nice and decided to be a couple before I went back home...The problem is that I we agreed to take down our profile...Before I met her we took our pix down so no one would send notes to us, but one day I checked and she had put her pix back up.When I told her about it she was like she was just bored and playing around with the computer and put up more pix..(yeah I know like im stupid right?)..3 days later she put up six more pic..So of course by now im pissed..Again she was bored...So I aksed her was I not enough for her and if she wanted to con't looking for men then I will step aside...Of course she said no...So now she took all her pix down except for one..I just want to know what should I do?Should i just say F****it and cut her off..or wait around and see if she going to take it down?I already told her how I felt about it and she agreed to take it down...So my question is how should I handle this? Link to comment
PocoDiablo Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 She agreed, didn't take it down, and you let it slide. So, she LIED and you rewarded her for it? I'd call her a liar to her face and dump her on the spot. Give it ... oh I'd say one or two days max before she comes crawling back. Take her back and she'll do it again and again. She's a control freak and you're letting her control you - and you're not putting up much of a fight, either. She's got guys on the side and ignoring you - I would bet $1000 you can find a MUCH better woman. Link to comment
Bethany Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 It does seem to me that she is keeping you as second best while still looking out for someone else, someone 'better' even. I wouldn't trust her and I would move on. If you decide to dump her and I really think you should and she comes back running.... Tell her you were bored of her lies and that YOU deserve BETTER... Link to comment
baddasslegend92 Posted February 27, 2006 Author Share Posted February 27, 2006 Yeah im going to give it two more days!!!!!Im not going to even say anything about it...If i log on and see that she still logging on i will dump her for sure...Like i said I already told her how I felt and I am not second best. Link to comment
NJRon Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 You guys only met up one time right? Maybe you should just back off and be more casual with her. Put your profile back up and tell her that you just want to be casual and that maybe you two rushed into things. Link to comment
Bethany Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 You guys only met up one time right? Maybe you should just back off and be more casual with her. Put your profile back up and tell her that you just want to be casual and that maybe you two rushed into things. Oooh, I think that would be very interesting to see how things pan out. Maybe she will see where you're coming from when she is in your shoes,who knows? But if it makes no difference, I would stick to my original advice and move on. Link to comment
RandomAdvisor Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 She agreed, didn't take it down, and you let it slide. So, she LIED and you rewarded her for it? I'd call her a liar to her face and dump her on the spot. Agreed. No point in continuing this relationship when she's already shown she can't be trusted. Link to comment
RayKay Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 Alright, well, normally I would not move so fast into "commitment" after one date before you really know each other...in my experiences with online dating you see each other a few times then decide, and if you are really into someone, you stop even signing on anymore anyway. But the reason to give it some time is because of exactly this..to know the person. I know how easy it is to want to rush a commitment, but the heart and mind have to commit to it, and that happens on it's own. But since you both agreed on it, and decided to take your profiles down "together" it is pretty clear she reneged on the deal and lied. My guess is indeed she uses it for her ego, or she is looking for other options. I would break it off. It's a clear sign she is not that into you and not very trustworthy. If her idea of curing boredom is to flirt with others and see what else is out there, that is probably not someone you want is it? Link to comment
PocoDiablo Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 Yeah im going to give it two more days!!!!!Im not going to even say anything about it...If i log on and see that she still logging on i will dump her for sure...Like i said I already told her how I felt and I am not second best. Avoiding issues is child-like in my opinion. You've got a problem, you know what it is, and you're going to let it slide because .... is there any valid reason? Come on, stand up for yourself and go deal with this. Put your profile back up and tell her that you just want to be casual and that maybe you two rushed into things. That's being passive aggressive. That's playing her childish game. In my opinion, that's a weak move. You have a problem and you need to deal with it like an adult. Anything less and you're just the fool who is probably going to get dumped. In those two days you wait you are going to be upset and wondering what to do. I'd go confront her, remain CALM and COLLECTED, be MATURE about it and speak only to the issue of her lying to you, and let her know that you would never tolerate being lied to. She can lie all she wants (and she'll lie to your face when you bring this up) and you can let her know that her behavior - her actions - speak louder than any words she can tell you. Dump her. Why would you let someone treat you like this? It shows you have no self respect, and women don't stay with men with no self respect. Maybe that is why she has her profile back up already and this is a deeper issue that you need to think about ... maybe? Link to comment
NJRon Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 I don't think it's passive aggressive. It's putting his profile up because they aren't in a committed relationship. Link to comment
Pixiemeat Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 Put your profile back up and dump her! She's not taking your relationship seriously, why stick around waiting to get hurt? Link to comment
baddasslegend92 Posted February 28, 2006 Author Share Posted February 28, 2006 Well this is what happened!!!! I decided to put my profile back up...LOL we was on yahoo messenger when she happened to go on the site and see my profile back up...So of course she asked me why did I put my pic up when we agreed to take them down....I was like I told you a week ago and you took your sweet time,,,So I figured it was ok to put mines back up....So she paused for a while and said......WOW!!! now I know how you felt when I put her pix back up.Then she told me she logged on and took hers off..I told her that actions speak louder than words.... You can tell me all day you going to do something and if I don't see it with my own eyes then its not done!!!!So after all that I agreed to take my pic down as well.I am not one of these wussy guys who let woman run over me....Im quick to kick woman to the curb....But i will give her another chance and play it by ear...and also keep my options open...Thanks bethany!! Thanks again to you guys too for the advice!!!! Link to comment
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