Flirting with a shy guy? Is it possible?

[lillady898]

There's a very attractive twin who seems to be pretty shy. I catch him looking my way many times throughout each lecture, indirectly indicating something or other. What? I have no idea, but I wish he'd speak up.

 

I have attempted at giving him every nonverbal signal that I am attracted to him short of standing on a desk and holding up a "You're sexy!" sign. I know I have to take the matter into my own hands if I really want to get to know him (or his twin, whoever ).

 

But he won't do so much as to smile at me. I smile at him whenever I pass him, but his face turns as red as his hair. I wish he'd smile at me, because his smile is just amazing. Unfortunate for me, he's just so unapproachable.

 

To you shy guys out there (or others who understand the mind of the shy guys... or any male for that matter): If I make a move, will you even reciprocate?

 

In other words, if I talk to you, will you even talk back? If I say hi, will you say hi back? If I flirt, will you flirt back? I'm worried I'll make a move and I'll be left there staring at the floor.

[Taomagicdragon]

I, for one, don't know hoe to flirt, so that won't work well for me. As for being approached, it may go over my head. Blushing ,though, is more universal and soemthing I do very well. You can approach him in a couple ways. One way is to hang out with him more, become more of a regular in his daily life. You could also tell him point-blank, but becareful not to come on too strong or you'll scare him into retreating into his emotional shell. Talk to his twin, maybe he can help you.

[PocoDiablo]

All you have to do is go say Hi.

 

My main concern for you would be, however, that if he cannot say hi then how do you expect things to go from there. He's probably too shy to ask you on a date.

 

I'd pass on him, personally, there are probably 5 other guys who you should look for instead.

[sandman47]

To you shy guys out there (or others who understand the mind of the shy guys... or any male for that matter): If I make a move, will you even reciprocate?

 

In other words, if I talk to you, will you even talk back? If I say hi, will you say hi back? If I flirt, will you flirt back? I'm worried I'll make a move and I'll be left there staring at the floor.

 

 

 

Well I would but I'm a fat Average Joe and would probably fall over dead if you'd flirt with me and wanted to make a move. I'm totally serious.

[Markers]

yeah, probably he will respond if you make a move. It might be that he first looks on floor etc. because he thinks something stupid like "she's probably talking to someone behind me etc." Well, make a move, and be patient, he might not instantly change to super active and skilled conversationalist with you when you first say hi, but that blushing thing gives approximately 99,99% probability that he fancies you. So just keep thinking of that, and talk to him, and he will feel more comfortable around you, and then all works.

[Jaela]

He's probably too shy to ask you on a date.

 

I'd pass on him, personally, there are probably 5 other guys who you should look for instead.

 

He may very well be too shy to ask you on a date. I'm in a similar situation right now. My guy is ultra ultra shy and so adorable. He did call me first, but he seems to be afraid to take that further step. If you really like the guy, be patient and encouraging and ask him out! There is nothing wrong with this at all. I have a feeling the effort will be worth it longterm with my endearingly shy guy, good luck with yours!

[lillady898]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the replies.

 

I guess it's fairly unanimous that he might be interested and might respond.

 

I think I'll do a little of everything, you know? Just maybe give it until Monday or Tuesday and see what happens. I don't know what I'm looking for, but we'll see. Maybe I'll decide to bring out the little risktaker that's always begging to come out (and usually only does at the worst moments).

 

And to you shy guys: Stop it! For each female you think isn't into, there is likely two others staring straight at you. Most of you are quite atractive.

[Kevin T]

To you shy guys out there: If I make a move, will you even reciprocate?

 

In other words, if I talk to you, will you even talk back? If I say hi, will you say hi back? If I flirt, will you flirt back? I'm worried I'll make a move and I'll be left there staring at the floor.

 

Knowing me, I'd probably not reciprocate, flirt back or even bother saying hi back. (It's just how I am... I'm doing my best to change it, mind you, but it's hard tearing down years of this behaviour and replacing it with another). Anyway, despite whatever response you may get, I'd encourage you to keep trying, if you really like this guy.

 

Your hard work and effort may pay off in the long run, so don't give up even if he doesn't give you the desired response right away. Shy men are fools who take forever (at times) to come around and finally realize that something needs to be done about this girl. Persistence tends to pay off.

[PocoDiablo]

He may very well be too shy to ask you on a date. I'm in a similar situation right now. My guy is ultra ultra shy and so adorable. He did call me first, but he seems to be afraid to take that further step. If you really like the guy, be patient and encouraging and ask him out! There is nothing wrong with this at all. I have a feeling the effort will be worth it longterm with my endearingly shy guy, good luck with yours!

The only problem I see with this situation, and I see it a lot, is that you're babying him - like a child. No matter how sweet and nice he is, over time you will tire of it and want a mature man who can take care of himself, surprise you, and be more like a mature guy. Guess what? You'll dump him.

 

Etc., etc.

 

This is why I don't recommend it from your position, that's all. It's just like you are wasting your time when you could be with a great guy who doesn't have all those hang ups.

[melrich]

The only problem I see with this situation, and I see it a lot, is that you're babying him - like a child. No matter how sweet and nice he is, over time you will tire of it and want a mature man who can take care of himself, surprise you, and be more like a mature guy. Guess what? You'll dump him.

 

Wow, I am always amazed at the preponderance of posts on these forums that equate being shy with so many other personality types...immaturity, niceness, unmanliness (is that a word) etc. etc..

 

shy is shy. Shy people can also be nasty, they can be mature, they can be nice, they can be macho (the aussie bush stereotype is the quiet, shy bushie who just gets things done and knows how to do all those "manly" type things like kill a crocodile.)

 

And look, a shy guy when you meet him is not going to be shy with you for the rest of your life. I mean really what do you think happens, you hook up with a shy guy and 2 years into the relationship he's still sitiing in a corner too scared to look you in the eye?/!!

 

Go and make a move on the guy. He may not be as fluent as some in your first interaction but he'll get better.

[Budman]

Necroposting Yay!

 

Honestly, when it comes to shy people you have to go over the top. Flirting is too subtle.

 

Walk up to him, and say hey let's go on a date.

 

Bam, you'll know.

 

A shy person will chaulk up flirting as "friendly", or heck in some cases I've seen flirting taken as being made fun of.

 

Its quite odd, heck I just now started getting what flirting really meant. Now I'm learning how to pick up on it.

 

Ahh, the joins of learning.

[sir sirloin]

Write your name and phone number on a piece of paper, walk right up to him and hand it to him. Then say "Lets pretend you asked me for this" and walk away.

 

If he doesn't call and ask you out then he may need to "ripen" a bit.

[wlfpack81]

Deleted by user

[Kevin T]

That's true, as much as I hate to admit it. Self-confidence is a huge deficit for most shy people, especially us males.

 

It's a shame too, because I can know that someone is attracted to me (or "almost" know, my intuition gives place to that anyway), yet still be too timid to act. It's such a pain.

[Markers]

Write your name and phone number on a piece of paper, walk right up to him and hand it to him. Then say "Lets pretend you asked me for this" and walk away.

 

even though I'm strongly against communicating through notes, I must say this was a good one because of the cheeky line

[lillady898]

Yeah... This guy pretty much lost any chance in March when I started dating a friend of mine. There was a moment in February that I was standing right next to him and was going to talk to him, but his nervousness only made me nervous, so I decided he was making it too difficult. Likely not purposely, but regardless, he was making it tough. Between his nervous glances and seemingly avoiding people he doesn't really know, what am I to think? That'd be really awkward if he did any of that while I was trying to talk to him. At the least he should've acted unbothered by a female's presense, which I know is tough, but who know's what could've happened if he did...