Antideprressants or just time?

[butterflycloud]

I have been divorced for almost a year and am still struggling. Guess Im having trouble letting go of all the attachements, anger and pain.

 

I so damm tired of feeling sad!!!!!!!!!!! I know that I still need time to try and forget but I cant take feeling soooooooooo sad anymore!](*,) ](*,) ](*,)

 

Should I take antidepressants to help for the moment?

[miserableme]

I would recommend seeing a professional who might prescribe you antidepressants. They can help numb the pain a bit but you really need to work on the cause of the problem and get help moving on.

 

I hope you are ok. It must hurt a lot.

[ElektraHere]

If you have lost the desire to do things you once enjoyed then yes I would talk to a professional to see what they recommend. I think some people take it thinking it will be the cure all. Like miserableme said it numbs it a bit but it is always there you have to work through it all. You might want to consider therapy perhaps talking it out might release some of the sadness.

It will get better it just will take some time.

Good Luck

[butterflycloud]

I see atherapisr often and I am dealing with the issues but all the time that I am trying to work through things there are tears running down my cheeks.

 

Sometimes I struggle to even forget about the whole situation for just a day and things that are supposd to be fun seem dulled by my inner saddness.

 

Thanks for your words

[miserableme]

I'm glad you're getting help. Maybe you should try AD's. They might help you cope a bit better, but won't be the solution.

[butterflycloud]

should I take natural antidepressants or 'medical' one?

[miserableme]

I would go and see a doctor. Ofcourse I'm not a doctor, but I think the benefits of natural antidepressants are minimal if any.

[bcuzitwasfun]

Hi butterflycloud,

 

Yeah, I think that you should let a professional answer your questions about the meds.

 

When I went through my divorce years ago, I went to see a therapist who sent me to the doctor for some meds. I was severely depressed. They put me on Efforx or something like that (I can't remember it's been so long ago). They helped my mood tremendously; however they made me not care about anything, nothing at all. I felt good because I didn't care. In the long run though that hurt me as I got behind on bills, taxes, about lost my job because I didn't care if I went to work or not.

 

So I quit taking them and finally got over the ex wife. Again, this was my situation and ultimately it was me without the meds that got to feeling better.

 

Wishing you the best

bcuzitwasfun

[butterflycloud]

thatnks becazitwasfun.

 

So do you suggest that I leave the anitdepressants? I know that sometimes drugs just make you numb and slow down the process of moving on.

 

Can you suggest another way of overcoming the saddness?

[puppy]

hi butterflycloud,

 

I am sorry to hear you feeling sad and the anger within you about the divorce. If I remember correctly you are also dealing the sadness of your ordeal with a friend as well, right?

 

Probably mean you should try to relax yourself and focus one thing step-by-step. I would suggest you try dealing with it headon, instead of medication, unless that is what the doctor recommend. Otherwise, you will relay it too often to an extend that you could do without them one day.

 

There is no easy way to ease the pain. I guess this is the reason for our existence in this life to try to deal with it and see what strength we have inside of us to get out of these problem.

 

I wish you well.

 

Woof Woof!

[NJRon]

I was on paxil for a few months while going to therapy and it greatly helped me. I went off paxil and the work that I did in therapy seemed to really stick. I had been to a therapist after my wife left me years ago, but didn't take anything and I found it less effective.

 

Obviously, I can't say what is right for you, but it was beneficial for me. I would suggest speaking to your doctor and perhaps getting a referral to a psychiatrist if your doctor deems it appropriate.

[butterflycloud]

Thanks puppy! and everyone else!

 

Yes puppy- Im sad about my friend too! Ill try and cope for a few more weeks without any antidepressants.

 

What I actually want is a knife so that I can cut my ego from my chest so that I dont have to feel hurt anymore!!

[Pikey1972]

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through - I hope you're OK today.

 

Like NJRon and others say, I would discuss things with your doctor first and maybe seek counselling before trying anti-depressants.

 

I know it's not quite the same situation as yours, but following the death of my mum, my doctor recommended counselling first. He kept me off the anti-depressants because of the side effects. My dad took anti-depressants for a while but found they made him feel worse (lethargic and very depressed), so he was gradually wheened off them.

 

I'm not saying don't take anti-depressants - there are also lots of positive reports - but it's probably best to try the other options first. Or, like NJRon says, opting for a combination of counselling and anti-depressants if the counselling alone does not work.

 

All the best.

[bcuzitwasfun]

If I had to do it over, I would have been more questioning about the medication the doctor prescribed. I was so desperate to feel better that I didn't question what the medicine was going to do and what effect it was going to have. Now I wish that they would have given me something that would have calmed my anxiety down so I could relax. I was not able to sleep and I seemed to be a complete nervous wreck all the time.

 

If you think that you need to see a therapist, you probably should go and talk to one. They can help you see straight and help decide if you need to see a doctor. I did face what I was going through head on without the meds, but the therapist did help me because I could talk to somebody with a true objective opinion.

 

Best of luck, let us know how it is going.

bcuzitwasfun

[bcuzitwasfun]

Ooops,

 

I read that you are seeing a therapist. Sorry about that. Maybe you should see a different therapist or ask the one you see now about a doctor visit.

 

bc

[Frangipani]

Hi. I have another perspective. I have been taking Zoloft for years because depression runs in my family. The whole 'not caring thing' only lasted for short while, and then they just made me feel, well 'normal' for the first time since I was a kid. I really don't know what I' d be like without it now.

 

You can take very small doses. The side effects are pretty bad for 2 weeks, but then they totally disappear. Just see what your doctor says.

 

I do have a friend who is taking meds and unfortunatley, his personality seems to have changed from being a very sensitive caring person to someone who cares about nothing at all. He no longer NEEDS to take these meds either as he is no longer in the situation he is in. Im sad because he is so apathetic now, whereas before he was such a passionate person. I just hop e he stops taking them soon.

 

I think if you really have an inbalance like I do, it's ok to take them long term, but if you only need them to help you get over something, make sure you dont stay on them. Mine make me feel the way I should feel - normal, they give me the chemicals I lack.

 

Talk to your doctor about a low dosage med.

[bcuzitwasfun]

We have a bunch of people here at work looking at a software application I wrote, and guess what? I found a bug and had to do a recompile and publish. Whew!!! Just in time!

 

I didn't really get to reply like I wanted to and share one of the things I'm doing to help my mind, body, and spirit.

 

Like many wise people have said here, join a gym if you can. I have done this with my recent breakup and have found this to be amazing therapy. I don't know your circumstances, but if you can you will find this is amazing!

 

I didn't join a gym that my coworkers or friends belonged to. I didn't want them to know anything more that what I wanted them to know.

 

I took a picture of myself before I joined and every week after I joined.

 

What happened.....

 

I found out there are a lot of nice people in the gym wanting and are encouraged to help you feel better. They are there for the same reason you are, to feel and look better. It makes you want to help them too, so you kind of become a "family".

 

You figure out how nice it is to be around people with the same goals as you. It hurts (physically), one day uppers, next day lowers, but they are there to encourage you to keep on. That is what you need right now.

 

After two weeks, the soreness starts to go away. You realize that you are sleeping better, no bags under the eyes, you are eating better, and finally you can sleep the whole night through. You thoughts are more on you than anything else. You take another picture and you can physically see the difference. Guess what? So can everybody else. They see your posture and attitude has changed.

 

This takes your mind off of the past and allows you to deal with the future, just when you thought there wasn't any because of the broken relationship. It puts your mind, heart, and soul in to you and that is where it needs to be.

 

It feels good to be complimented. You gain your confidence back, and most importantly, you have something to show for it! THE NEW YOU!!!!

 

This has been the most recent therapy I have used. It has worked for me. I feel better, look better (I think so, and so does everybody else) than I did in the relationship. What does my ex think? I don't know, and I don't care. It doesn't matter.

 

Thanks

bcuzitwasfun

[Diggitydave]

I was on anti-depressents for years. Make sure to get a few different opinions, even if it costs a lot of money. Most Dr's today will hear two sentences and say "ok you have this, take this". Be careful and don't just give into one diagnosis and then run around thinking in your head "wow im just messed up he/she, said I have this" be careful and think this one through. Remember, this is a very hard time for your life and it was bound to happen. Unless you are suicidal and out of control, I would let the pain heal naturally so that you are not just band -aiding it with meds. But def at least go talk to a Dr. first.

[crossflow]

Anti depressants shuldn't make you feel numb if they do the dose is too high. And you shouldn't take them just because you are feeling down. Depression is an illness with a range of symptoms and one of the major ones with depression is that it comes in waves, so one day or a week you might be ok and then you get a low when you just feel hopeless.

 

The anti-depressants just stabalise your moods, they don't fix your problem so you will still need to address the cause of the problem but they do help you to cope with the ups and downs of the depression.

 

They can take up to 2 Months to kick in so don't expect them to work for a while, that's worth remembering because most people that get prescribed them give up taking them becuase they think they are not working.

 

You can also get some annoying side effects such as headaches / lack of sleep etc in which case go back to the doctor and change it for another type, just be aware that you will have to start from scratch again so they will take time to work.

 

First thing you should do is go see a Doctor and establish if you are actually suffering from depression or just feeling low. Just because you are down that does not mean you are suffering from depression.

 

And see a councilor to deal with the cause of the problem otherwise you can take as many anti-depressants as you want and the problem will not go away.

 

Shame there is such a stigma to depression, it's as common as a cold but for some reason people see it as a big failure for having depression.

 

It's just an illness and very treatable, no anti-depressants wont turn you into a zombie or leave you unable to function. The depression does that, the anti-depressants just help you to control it same as any other mediaction helps you to control an illness.

[healinginnyc81]

I want to second the recommendation on exercise. It really does make you feel better physically and it helps your self esteem. Even if you don't see any results, just have fun doing the exercise and it makes you feel better because it helps release the "happy" chemicals.

 

Antidepressants are meant to help you and they are a good supplement to therapy. Using the therapy and putting it into practice is what will help you feel better and get better, but the Ad's help you with chemical deficiencies.

[butterflycloud]

thanks for all the advice!

Well after having a really tough weekend I went the docyor this morning and got a perscription for the next three months. As I said earlier, Im just so tired of feeling sad.

 

I took one this morning and I must admit that I feel a bit strange and shaky but as another member said- it takes a while for the side effects to ware off.

 

Thanks again, you guys are great!!

[Frangipani]

Yep, for about 2 weeks I was shaky, had sweaty palms, felt dizzy etc. After the first week I felt like I was a little drunk but once the 2 weeks were up...totally normal and happy. Well, totally able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Stick with it and wait for the effects to wear off. You'll be fine.

[Foz]

Hi there,

Im sorry you are going through such a rough time. I went through something similar 18 months ago. i went to my Doctor begging for anti depressants, anything to take away the pain and he refused point blank to prescribe me anything. he said a break up is like a bereavement and there are 5 stages you have to go through afterwards (shock & denial, sadness and depression, bargaining, anger and finally acceptance), you back and forth through these for as long as it takes. He told me if i were to take anti depressants all i would do would be postpone the pain and the healing process. So all he would give me was a couple of sleeping tablets so i could rest at night. The rest of the time it was just me and my grief and it was overwhelming and i was scared and suicidal sometimes. In a way i have never felt so real as i was so aware of all my emotions. i went for counselling as well and found that helped and eventually i dont know how really, i think i got sick of my grief and wanted my life back, but i started to feel better. it was a very slow process and i still have the odd sad day or angry day but i got through it the natural way and i thank my doctor for not doping me out of it!! As he put it, teh depression associated with grief is a reactive depression and is natural and should be dealt with accordingly, ie going through the stages.

I found 2 books really good as well; Men are from mars, women are from venus-Starting Over by John Gray and Rebuilding after your relationship ends by bruce fisher. They helped me, they may help you too!!

My advice is stay away form the medication and feel the pain as it is your bodys way of healing!! Kinda like in sports, you have to go through the pain barrier!!

[Diggitydave]

[Frangipani]

I take antideps because I have a problem with depression ALL the time and I have been diagnosed with clinical depression. I don't think people should have them perscribed just because they are 'down' about a certain issue or for a certain time. That's not what they are for. Depression is generic for all the females in my mothers side of the family and I take them long term.

 

Don't use meds as a quick fix. When I have been depressed recently (yes, don't think that you won't get down even on meds) I have had councelling, bought a stack of self help books and leaned on my friends for support. I would not bother to take meds for short term depression issues. I basically can't feel normal without them as I have a chemical imbalance that will be with me forever.