Said Goodbye Last Night

[antigravity]

Hey everyone... I need help!

 

I've fallen in love with a beautiful person who I've been seeing for just under 2 months. We share the same views, have the same hopes and views on the world, and get the best out of each other.

 

Now the problem is, I said goodbye to her last night. She left to study in Argentina (we're in australia) and won't be back for at least 3-4 years. She may never return at all. We are compeletely in love with each other. So much that not once did I ask her to stay, or to contemplate not going. This is going to make her happy, and I can't stop her because of my own selfishness.

 

But what should I do? We're staying in contact, and we've made plans to travel around South America together on motorbike. But I have to save enough money to get there, and then travel. But I've never saved anything in my entire life. I have a few debts to take care of, but my car is up for sale, and once that is done, i'm doing a course to let me teach english overseas and then i'm leaving.

 

I'm scared that when we meet again in a few months things won't be the same, or that i'll expect to much from her. She has told me she wants to be with me, and that when we meet again, she will still love me and want to be in a relationship with me. But she doesn't want me to go overseas just to be with her. She doesn't want me to change my life for her.

 

But I want to.

 

Can anyone give me some advice? Thanks.

[puppy]

hi

 

Thought I give you my opinion on this matter, as I have gone through something similar as well. What this girl is trying to say is for you to go to Argentina on your own terms, instead of her. This doesn't mean she is not interested in you when you both meet again.

 

Maybe during this time apart, the both of you could try to maintain the contact via email,letter,phone calls and then see how things goes from there. There is no point to consider too far in the future, as thing changes over time.

 

Good luck.

 

Woof woof

[Süsser Tod]

Even if things are not the same over there with her, Argentina is packed with gourgeous girls...

 

And even ignoring the whole relationship thing, you are 22, you can afford the luxury of trying something new on your life, like moving to a different country, getting to know a completely different culture, etc.

 

Main plan: be with her.

 

Backup plan: Enjoy the adventure of your life!

 

By the way, motorcycles are cheap in Argentina. You can get a small Honda for very little money, and those things will take you all the way to Alaska as long as you fed them something burnable.

[Wimpy]

But she doesn't want me to go overseas just to be with her. She doesn't want me to change my life for her.

 

Antigravity

 

I can only give you my take on that based on my own experience....when I read this I was reminded of my own ex. If I ever hear someone tell me that again it will be a big red flag.

 

Of course everyone is different but I'd say that to me that doesn't sound that promising. You've only known each other a very short time and so be careful with your heart...you know how long it takes to heal...

 

However, I've been to South America-although not Argentina and it's an amazing place so I'm sure you'll have a fantastic time.

[antigravity]

Yeah I agree with what you say...

 

However she did say that if I was to come over, she would definitely be with me and want to be in a relationship. She just doesn't want me to leave everything I have, JUST for her.

 

Which I kind of agree with. However it would be nice if she said "yeah I wish you were here, i'd do anything to have you here with me". Or something along those lines.

 

I dunno... She emailed me today, and said she misses me more than she thought she would and that she loves me. And that she'll call me soon. I dunno...

[NJRon]

A woman wants to know that their man is following thier own goals and dreams. They don't want you to drop everything and change your life for them because that fosters resentment. They want to share in your life, not be the sole purpose.

 

Also, who wants someone to change everything, and then, if things don't work out, have that guilt? It has only been 2 months afterall, no matter what your feelings are right now, it's the infatuation phase.

[antigravity]

Yeah well i've been feeling good without her. I don't feel like my life is over or anything like that.

 

I just like being around her.. I guess I just like doing what makes me feel good. Being with her makes me feel good

 

But if I go overseas, it won't be SOLELY for her. I'll get to travel around the world and gain heaps of things from that. Having her there is the kick up the * * * * I need to do it.

[NJRon]

Well then, that's a very healthy attitude!

[antigravity]

Awesome... Actually I'm starting to feel good without her.

 

I miss her a lot obviously, and she's been emailing me and calling me from overseas which helps, but my friends have been wanting to do things all the time, so I really haven't had time to feel lonely or anything like that.

 

Life is good at the moment It's even better with her, but without her, it's still really good.

 

Thanks for the advice (or opinion in NJRon's case hehehe) guys...