Phone anxiety

[Knctrnl22]

I have a problem with the phone, especially whenever my ex girlfriend calls.

 

My ex calls me frequently on the phone and it is causing me anxiety.

 

I am always under preasure to sound my best or say the most interesting things so that I keep her interest.

 

It is just something that I naturally try to do, its not something that I am forced to do.

 

Sometimes I will talk to her at night and she calls me the next morning, whenever she calls me in the morning I answer right away.

 

I wish I didn't feel preasure to answer her phone calls.

 

I need to know how to relax about this.

 

Maybe I just need to do whatever I want as long as it comes naturally.

 

I also was wondering on how to cope with being bored sometimes.

 

Any advice would be helpful!

[secret_agent_man]

My suggestion is to force yourself to NOT pick up. She'll never understand any bit of how you feel if you keep picking up and lying to her. Don't pretend with her, and don't play games. It's not worth it. If you only pick up once a week, or once every three days, she won't keep calling every day. I would really suggest that you take care of yourself in this situation, I can tell you need some time on your own to cope...

 

Let us know if you need anything else! Good Luck!

 

S.A.M.

[faeriechyld]

I hate talking to people on the phone too. I seem to do a lot better in person than on the phone especially if it's someone I've never met because then at least I have an idea of who I'm talking to and what not. Why do you feel this way with your EX g/f? That's the part that I was confused on.

[princepesa2]

Do you feel anxious while you're talking to her, or is it after you've hung up the phone? If your conversations are causing you a lot of stress (i.e. you're trying to analyze what she said, why she's calling, what does this mean, etc.) then maybe it's for the best that you don't take her calls right now.

On the other hand, if you feel that you can handle talking to her as a friend, then you should probably just go ahead and do what feels right at the time. It's very natural for you to want to sound interesting and desirable to your ex (even if you don't want to get back with her). The anxiety/nervousness will probably pass with time. Just make sure that you're not causing yourself undue stress!

Personally, I couldn't do it. I know that I can't handle talking to my ex right now because it's all too fresh. Everytime I did talk to him, our conversation would be running through my head for days afterwards, driving me crazy. So I had to stop.

Hope your experience is better!

[Knctrnl22]

Well thank you very much for your advice- I just wanted to say that I feel like I have to answer her phone calls because I just simply don't want to miss them. I guess whenever we were going out we would talk on the phone everyday all the time. My reasons for answering the phone are that I just want to keep her interested in me. I basically love the girl a lot still and just want to keep her interested in me. I think that from now on I will only answer the phone at certain times during the day, so that I can relieve some of this preasure.

 

I think that now I find it easier to call her than to answer her phone calls everytime she calls.

 

I know that this problem might sound goofy to some, but I do feel anxiety over it.

 

Thank you for your replies.

[greenie]

how long ago did you guys break up? and who broke it off and why? I just wanted to get a better idea of what the background is on this. thanks

[Knctrnl22]

I wanted to answer your question greenie

 

We broke up at the end of febuary so its been almost 4 months or so.

 

We had a mutual break up-she was my first love and I was hers, we say each other almost everyday for 3 yrs. We had a lot of fun then we decided to go our separate ways because we thought we had been daiting for too long. It been a rough ride in the past couple of months but its going okay.

 

Thanks for your curiosity

[foreverurz23]

what i would do it i were you is do something with some friends and just get out of the house just for like a guys days out. it sounds like you are getting way to much of what is around you at the moment and it is at the point of driving you up the wall. if you are ever board, have you ever tried planting a garden or something, or do you have a dog that you could train? try skate boarding, roller blading, meet new people. there are just so many things out there. go by your self and catch some frogs!!!!! shhhhh! no one needs to know. lmao

 

good luck

~foreverurz23~

[cobro]

I have the EXACT same problem. My ex, who was my first love, broke up with me in April to go back to her ex boyfriend. I have healed over time, now I'm seeing someone new, and my ex has been calling more often. Like last week I heard from her 3 times. This week, once so far, about 5 minutes ago. Why does she call? I hate analyzing the calls afterwards, I will dwell on it for a few hours it seems. I used to dwell on the calls for days. It is awkward to say the least, we have run out of things to talk about! It's not like before when we were dating. She's bangin some guy every night and I act like nothing is happening on the phone, like we are friends and everything is great in my life and hers. I don't ask about her relationship, I don't care. It still stings a bit, knowing that she is happy and I am still picking up the pieces of my life. She might think I'm happy, because I act like it on the phone, little does she know. I really wish she would not call quite as often, maybe she won't after our last awkward conversation, where we ran out of stuff to talk about. Maybe she wants to stay friends, maybe she is out to mess up my current relationship, maybe she misses me, maybe she's just crazy like my friends say. I don't know, but I agree, I have phone anxiety also. The calls put my stomach in knots and I hate that she can do that to me. I need to regain control, why let someone else determine your mood? It sucks and the only way to get it to go away is to change your phone number. I'm seriously thinking about doing that. Good luck and you are not alone in this problem.