See wife happy or keep family together?

[thejonwhoisphat]

Alright, I got a confuseing marige situwation. It all started 4 years ago today (7-15). I stole my friends girl (they dated 4 months). We started dateing and all was good. One year later we got married. 6 months after that we had a baby. As our marrage progressed had its good times and its bad, like all other marrages. But now I have run into a delimma. 2 weeks ago that same friend broke up with his girlfriend. My wife has told me before that she liked what she had with him. but last friday, a week ago we all went out b/c he was sad. I left the party early b/c I had to work in the morning. I found out that night he told my wife that he never stopped loveing her from the day that they broke up. The next night we were all together again sitting outside. they were sitting next to eachother and she had her feet on the armrest of his chair and they both were covered up by a blanket. Sunday night the 2 of them went on a 11/2 hour trip to get some movies. That night she broke down and told me that she was confused. And he had wanted her back. she told me that he was playing with her toes under the blanket that night and holding hands the night of thier movie trip. In our relation ship im her best friend and her lover(a husband). I love her alot. She says she likes the way she feels when she is around him, (her worries desolve, butterflies, he makes her laugh, exciteing, risky), I want to see her happy, but yet i dont want our family tore apart. She is confused, dont know what to do. Im know im gonna to be the one getting hurt here. What do I do. She is wanting a seperation to be alone for a while so her true feelings can come out. Im feeling so lost. HELP.

[Gaeltick]

Actually you and your wife are both going to be hurt. This guy is not much of a prize coming on so strong around someones husband...that is pretty low class. He is USING YOUR WIFE FOR A WHILE till he finds someone new. Your wife is acting very cheap shoving this relationship in your face. You deserve better, let her go. Maybe then, she'll see what she had with you and come running home.

 

 

 

I'd show her this...he is using her...BIG TIME.

[secret_agent_man]

Well, in my eyes, marriage is taken too lightly these days, and personally I don't know that I could do that to my own child. It would be a very rough situation, but it's happened before.

 

I guess my point is, when you marry, all feelings aside, you make a choice to love the other person. Each needs to make this choice, and that is what makes marriage work. Everything is not always perfect, but that's why you said, "for better or for worse". I find it harder to believe that she would change her feelings about you, especially with the child involved. Just like any lust, she feels "flustered" around him. It's a natural reaction, she cared about him, and he's still in her life. I don't see a way around that. The only thing you may want to do, is bring some risk and exitement back into her life from your direction. You don't have to be dangerous, but be spontanious. Her ex is single, so he has less responsibility. That can be very appealing. Just show her you can be unexpected and romantic... you know how to do it... you already won her over once...

 

You need to go see a marriage counsellor, because like your title states, you want to keep your family together if possible. Remember there are three people involved here.

 

Good luck, Let us know

 

S.A.M.

[santamadia]

LISTEN,

This guy is using her...at best. He feels justified because you stole her away. But this isnt a candy store, can you really steal away what really belongs to someone else. No! She is being fooled by him, and he is using her to get back at her and you for what he went through when she left him for you. Give her some space and time, she will return to you. I would also confront him and tell him about his sneaky self. When they were dating that was one thing...BUT YOU TWO ARE MARRIED, and the LORD says "May no man Covet thy neighbors wife" . Give him the boot and tell her the truth that he is only using her as a rebound. He sounds like a slimeball. She just can't see it . To tell you the truth she probably feels like she owes him some kind of second chance.

[secret_agent_man]

Yea, I don't know how close of a friend he is, but if it were my situation he'd probably have dentures by now for claiming to be my friend.

 

If it was just someone who you didn't know I'd be mad at your wife a bit, but this guy is insane for crossing that line into a so-called friends marriage.

 

S.A.M.