when is enough...finally enough???

[girl_83]

Out of curiosity..and i know different people will have different comments and answers..depending on the person, but im just wondering, when is enough finally enough in a relationship?

 

At what point does one person finally get up and leave, what drives them to this point? I am just wondering, because i just dont seem to see the line I keep taking more and more cr*p from my bf each week.

 

I still love him and im always willing to stay and work things out. I want to have enough, i want to leave, i am incredibly miserable right now but something just keeps holding me back from leaving. What the hell is wrong with me

[Tigris]

It sound to me like you're trying to save the relationship by yourself. If this is the case then you're wasting your time because it takes two! If you're miserable now it's going to get worse as time goes on.

 

I'm sorry but my advice is it's time to leave him.

 

Good luck and take care.

[butterflycloud]

Well I was married for 4 years and that entire time I took his 'poo'. I am a soft person and I just kept eating it but eventually my mind and heart just couldnt go on any longer and I asked for a divorce.

 

People are different and have different tolerance levels. My advice is to ether sort it out or wait until physically you can no longer be with him anymore, and believe me eventually you feel your soul screaming out at you that you have to get out of there despite your fears of being without them.

 

I had to endure about 5 years of emotional abuse before I actually had the guts to leave.

[LostInTranslation]

As someone who has been in your shoes, you will know when you've had enough ... trust me. I am approaching two months and three weeks of NC from a year long dysfunctional relationship.

 

I was treated like dirt the entire time and I made the mistake of going back for more. Do yourself a favor and walk away before something so bad happens that you may never recover. We deserve to be treated with respect and if you're not getting it, chances are he probably won't change.

 

Just to let you know ... I realized I had enough when my ex told me she didn't respect me or love me the same anymore. That was it for me and those words made me realize that I deserve so much better and can get so much better.

 

I miss her but I know this is for the best for both of us. She tried contacting at first but I did not respond. She hasn't tried since.

 

It will be hard but just be strong and believe in yourself to move on. If you continue to be unhappy, you will never find the true love you deserve.

 

Best Wishes!

[RayKay]

For me...it's when I reach the point of emotional exhaustion. When I realize the COST to me emotionally, and physically is much to great for what I am receiving in return. When I feel my own self worth and esteem taking a hit, and depending on their reactions/actions. When I realize the pain and pressure of the relationship are so great I will suffocate under it without making a decision to walk away.

 

You basically just know when you reach that point. To me it is that point of no return, where I have tried it all, nothing has changed, and I realize it never will. And I realize I deserve SO much better. That even being on my own and being free from the emotional prison I am in would be better then whatever is going on.

 

For me, it's when I realize I deserve better, but it is only going to happen by me putting myself first again, after a long time of neglecting that voice telling me I needed to leave.

 

But really, you don't want to get to that point, it's a horrid place to be and only takes you longer to build up. Look at your relationship and what you expect and deserve in your life. Do you truly believe love should make us miserable like this? Why are you with someone whom clearly won't change, and is clearly mistreating you?

 

You love him...but do you love YOU?

[Lilac]

hey girl_83,

 

i am in your shoes as we speak. and i'm not even sure where my "leaving point" is. i thought after my bf called me a ho because of my past it would be enough for me to leave but i can't find the strength to do it. when i think about leaving him i feel even worse.

i am realizing that all of my self esteem is being destroyed and i'm devaluing myself as well. i know that i need to leave but the want is not fully there. i feel that i need to fix myself and feel strong enough in myself to stand up and say i am better then this i deseve better then this, and i love myself. instead of putting all of my energy into seeking his love, approval and respect. i need to reteach myself to love myself and respect myself and then i will feel strong enough to stand on my own two feet and tell him to leave, or leave myself. i hope the best for you and i will be watching this thread for updates as i think that we may be able to help each other alot through this.

[changes]

not that i'm happy to hear anyone havin this issue, it feels reassuring that its not just me. my last relationship was the WORST. with the exception of physical abuse, he did most anything that could disrespect me. but yet, month after month, i stayed. I knew I wanted to leave and knew i didn't deserve it but for some reason i stayed. and now i'm payin the price for that blow to my self esteem and person, and my current boyfriend is too.

 

if you know you're at the point where you don't want to work it out, your SO isn't tryin to work it out, you just have to have the strength to say enough is enough. eventually it will come, hopefully without much more pain to yourself. but why wait for that if you know you want out now?