Just got dumped a week a go

[Ineedtotalk]

My girlfriend of a year just broke up with a week ago. I feel horrible. I been crying everyday. I want to call her and beg her to come back to me but I think that it will make it worse. What should I do? should I call her?

[Relationship Coach]

Welcome to ENA, sorry such painful circumstances brought you here but you are not alone. First, put down the phone, don't call. Tell us what happened so we can offer some advice and help you.

 

RC

[ShaKe__]

If you want her back the first thing is NOT to call or contact in ANY way.She might start thinking you're indifferent..That is a good sign.If she calls just to ask how you've been doing that's great,tell her you're doing fine,no details.Usually when you break up with someone you expect them to drown in tears(that's what often happens though).They expect you to care a lot.If you love them,you care.If you hate them,you care,If you get jealous,you care.But if you're indifferent...Good luck.

[heloladies21]

If you feel like you're strong enough to stay out of contact forever, that's the best way to go. She will be able to think things through and contact you if she reconsiders and you will calm down enough so you can deal with the situation.

 

If No Contact would be too hard to do, you should call her and pour out your heart to her. Let her know that you want her back and all that. It won't bring her back, but it's a bottom some people need to hit before they can start the climb back up.

 

In the meantime, start talking to some other girls. You found her, and there's another one like her or even better right around the corner. You can trust me on this.

[Ineedtotalk]

Hi Thanks for the advice,

 

well what happen was that we went out for a year and we where planning in getting married this year. But I was in the middle of going back to school full time to change my career path. So I told her that I did not want to get married yet because I was not stable enough. And I think this backfired because that was one of the reasons she broke up with me. She told me that I was not stable enough and I am still immature. Also that she does not trust me because I did now want to get married with her. I am 24 and she is 26. She said she wants someone more mature. The day after she broke up with me I talked to her. I could not resist and I begged her to came back, but she said "no that its over". I know I should not have begged but I could not resist it. Now its been a week and half since we broke up. I have not called her. But I have this urges to call and tell her that I miss her and I love her. Since valentine's day is in 2 weeks should I call her? to at least see how she is doing?

[fishrrshortae]

I guess someone else said it before I did, you may have to hit rock bottom before you will realize it's over. But she has already said it's over. I would not recommend calling. If it was meant to be, she'd have to be the one to come back to you. You calling her is not going to change her mind. Perhaps there were other things going on that she hasn't told you? Why the rush to get married, especially when you're in the middle of some changes?? If I were you, I would also want to postpone any weddings until things were more stable.

 

Either way, she also pointed to your supposed lack of maturity for a reason to end it. Honestly, I think that in a way, your postponing the wedding gave her a convenient "out" because she had other issues with you she hadn't made you aware of yet..

 

Anyways, if she got all bent out of shape about you wanting to postpone the wedding, it would indicate that she cares more about getting married than about who she's marrying or why. She sounds pretty immature herself.

 

I would say do whatever you have to right now to move on. KEEP BUSY!! Do everything in your power to not pick up the phone.