online dating services

[whatchamacallit]

Does anyone have an opinion or developed successful relationships through online dating services? Are they a "meat market"?

[Dako]

All the people I know that have used them tell me they've met some wonderful people. I plan to give it a go when I'm over my ex.

 

How could they be any worse than fixed-up blind dates, meeting drunken people in bars or getting involved with co-workers? You know, the traditional ways.

 

After all, we're on the internet right now. Is this place sleazy?

[Ms Omaniac]

I met my current bf through yahoo personals. before i ever knew his name, i knew what he looked like, i knew a lot about him that was rather personal but important to know like if he was conservative or liberal, what his stance on religion was, what his stance on having kids was, what types of females he finds attractive...etc.

 

i sent him an "ice breaker" which basically shows him my profile and picture and if he was interested...he could send one back.

 

he did. and from our first email...to our first IM...to our first conversation...it's been VERY easy to talk to him. instantly clicked. and it's been the best relationship ive ever had also. i cant believe how compatible we are.

 

so yeah...i think it's a great way to meet people that are like-minded like you. it takes a lot of the guessing work out.

 

and dako....when youre ready...youre gonna make someone really happy

[HAYLE]

Actually I met my husband on one of the dating sites. We talked for a while by IM, then by phone, then we finally met. And sparks flew! Just be careful-what I like about the sites is that you actually knew something about the person before you ever even typed to them. You got an idea about what they were about. Also read the profiles very carefully. To me it was better than a blind date which I had a couple of. I was married for 25 years and then got divorced. I met my husband and my soulmate and now know what marriage and love are really about. I know-sappy-BUT TRUE!!!!

[whatchamacallit]

Dako, We're about the same age. I'm 51. Nice to get replies from people the same age. The online dating way of meeting someone has always seemed weird to me. You never really know who you're talking to. But, I guess it's the way of the future! Also, as we get older, our pictures aren't that great anymore!

[Dako]

Hi, Hayle and Wahtchamacallit.

 

It's encouraging to know it can happen to "grown ups."

 

Since I'm a graphic artist, retouching my photos is a no-brainer.

wrinkles, hairline and all that are no problem!

[whatchamacallit]

maybe you can do mine!

[Dako]

I doubt you need it at your age.

 

Seriously (cough) it is good to see people my age on the forum. At times I feel like the old fossil here.

[RayKay]

I think they are just like meeting people in real life in the more traditional ways. You will meet a lot of duds, but there are some great treasures as well. Some people are doing it for ego boosts, others are looking for something more serious. I find that some sites in some locations are also better then others.

 

Anyway, I have done the online dating thing, I have met many, dated about three "seriously" (one 3 months, one 16 months, and the relationship I am now is the last one I plan on being) and had overall positive experiences.

 

There are some keys though...take your time to write a good profile. Don't spend months getting to "know someone" online and build up these huge expectations and then meet and it all falls flat. Meet within a couple weeks (of course I would only date those local to me...some people might have to wait a couple months to meet due to distance). Be selective, but not overly so. Sometimes those whom you click with most online are your worst matches, and those you are so-so with turn out to be the best in real life.

 

Don't wrap your life up in it. I know some people whom will spend their entire day there, every day, so it's all about getting dates....and chatting up women/men. That is equal to the creepy guy always at the bar buying every one whom walks by and has breasts a drink.

 

Anyway, after the previous failed attempts, I met my current boyfriend. I had seen him on one site, and sent him a wink. Neither of us subscribed though, but fortunately he found me on another site, sent me a smile along with an email. We chatted a few days...I was interested but not overly so at the time, but we found out we shared similar lifestyles/intersest and even had some friends in common. We were surprised we had not already met. So he asked me out within a few days, we met that Saturday and had no expectations really going into it of being more then friends and training buddies. Well, needless to say we were blown away by one another and now are happily living together, and planning a future together. Been together about 14 months now, but live together, saving for a house, supporting one another in our life goals, it's great.

 

It's just another venue in my opinion, nothing wrong with it at all. Just like in real life though, watch out for the crazies

[Hope75]

I met my guy on an online dating site.

 

We've been together for over 3 years, live together, and I hope to marry him someday.

 

At first I was hesitant to meet someone online, (the "stigma" of meeting someone online, you get those "Chester Molester" creepy horror stories

 

Then after exploring dating sites, I thought "how great, you can rule out people right away from their profiles if you want to and never even hurt anyone's feelings, get to know a bit about people without taking too much of a risk..."

 

Sure, a person can lie on their profile online, but a person you meet in a bar or get set up with can lie too. So I decided to bite the bullet and give it a try.

 

So after talking online for a bit with my guy, we exchanged phone numbers, and then after a bit of phone convo we decided to meet in person. I chose a pub I knew well, took my own car, told people where I was going, and brought my cell phone (just in case!) My guy was just a nervous as I was!

 

Turns out he was harmless, and quite loveable.

[Relationship Coach]

I met my wife on Yahoo Personals, I had a run of flakes, bad dates, gold diggers and flat out liars but...the reward was worth it! Just be cautious and use common sense, many success stories here!

[Dako]

I met my wife on Yahoo Personals, I had a run of flakes, bad dates, gold diggers and flat out liars but...

 

Sounds on par with most ways to meet.

[HappyGoAway]

Hi,

I liked your answer. I'm a bit nervous and shy testing the online dating. I've been getting a lot of emails & winks and feel sad that there isn't too many I'm interested in. My neighbor had a plan to go out with them twice so she could give them a chance. And she deleted the winks. Did you resond to "winks"? I'm not sure how to start it but I wrote to the first cute guy I found and was so nervous until he wrote me back. I'm finding I am nervous and maybe not as available as I thought. Any suggestions? Oh, I've gone on maybe six likewarm dates and might quit the email/chat on phone with a guy who keeps saying "let's get together" and never does. Ok, thanks, Jill

[whatchamacallit]

All of you have been extremely helpful. What are the best sites to have a profile on? Match? American Singles? Eharmony? Sounds like it does take time to weed through the profiles and yes, lies can be there.

[RayKay]

All of you have been extremely helpful. What are the best sites to have a profile on? Match? American Singles? Eharmony? Sounds like it does take time to weed through the profiles and yes, lies can be there.

 

That seems to depend a lot on location. For example, around here it is lavalife that is most popular, there are very few people on Match. lavalife you buy credits as you go, no monthly subscription, and after first email all emails between you are free, which may be partly why it's more popular here (we are a cheapskate city ). If I were to look at Match, I would see some of the people as I would on lava, though not many. Lemontonic has no one from around here.....

 

So I would take a look at them all, see which ones interest you, which you like. Do searches and see how many are in your area. You can always put a profile up at a couple sites depending on how they charge....

[HAYLE]

I met my husband on Yahoo personals. I also have a 29 year old daughter who really doesn't need the personals because she is beautiful (i'm a mom you know) but between working and school didn't have time. I showed her what I was doing and she also started to look at the personals. She met several-as I did that just wasn't right. About a month after I met my husband she called and said she met this really nice guy. Well long story short-they are getting married this June. So there. You have a 48 yr old mother who found the man of her dreams and a 29 yr old daughter who also met the man of her dreams. We have to laugh when the 4 of us get together. It just seems so odd. But wonderful!!!

[whatchamacallit]

What a great story Hayle! I enjoyed reading it. Do you think as we get older, we need this kind of help more than younger people? Our resources are more limited? It's nice to hear from people my age who have met someone on the web. Guess what...I just posted my profile on Yahoo Personals. It's under review. They seemed to be the most reasonable as far as costs are concerned. I selected the 7-day trial period and set up my profile for only those who I contact to see. Congratulations to you and your daughter!

[RayKay]

What a great story Hayle! I enjoyed reading it. Do you think as we get older, we need this kind of help more than younger people? Our resources are more limited? It's nice to hear from people my age who have met someone on the web. Guess what...I just posted my profile on Yahoo Personals. It's under review. They seemed to be the most reasonable as far as costs are concerned. I selected the 7-day trial period and set up my profile for only those who I contact to see. Congratulations to you and your daughter!

 

I know a lot of younger people whom have done it. I think it is pretty common among the younger set now even. Some will still say it's dumb, but I know many people whom have met people from it, and tried it out. But I do think it is common for young ones too do it as they are part of the online generation, as well as for those whom are newly divorced or out of very long term unions.

 

I was on it when I was 22-25, and I too think I am pretty attractive just so you know Hayle...and my mum thinks I am beautiful too! I do not have trouble meeting people, but I was working in a small office, studying for classes, training, and had limited time to meet NEW people. I also found limited opportunities for me to meet people more in my mindset, I had some different experiences from most of my peers, was out of a long term relationship, and just wetting my toes again into dating. While I was meeting people, and being set up on blind dates, I liked the ability to have some more choice on whom to meet or not, and to meet people I may not otherwise of had opportunity to bump into in my every day life.

 

Good luck!

[Dako]

At my age the world seems full of happy couples, 20 year-olds and bluehaired ladies. Middle-aged folks (I hate that term) don't have the structures of school and peer groups that let you just bump into others in your age bracket until you get rounded up for the old folks home.

I eat lunch with my mom at her assisted living facility on weekends. Lots of cool experienced chicks live there, and none could outrun me, but most are a bit dotty.

I could go on about the subject, but then I'd be like those old coots that rail against the guvment, kids these days and flouride.

Get off my lawn!

[yelloemail]

i dated a guy from an online site. i recommend it to others. HOWEVER, with the guy i dated, he was not honest on his profile (i didn't figure this out at first)! we dated for a few months and there was just something wrong with him but i couldn't pin point what it was. i ended up breaking up with him because he was decetful on his profile. would i date some one from an internet site again, i doubt it. that is just what i feel though. my advice to anyone who chooses to find dates that way is to make sure the person is being honest on his or her profile!