Can this work?

[NPSoccer5]

A little background on my relationship. This girl has had only 1 serious relationship for 3 years before me. We became friends while she was with him and during that time she realized she didn't love him and broke up with him to be with me. The problem is that we rushed into a serious relationship from just being good friends as opposed to taking it step by step and gradually.

 

Now we have been in this relationship for 10 months now, and my girlfriend has told me that her feelings aren't there anymore. She says she loves me but is not in love with me. We initially broke up, but after talking we realized some things. We realized we still cared a lot about each other and that we still had affection towards each other, but she still thinks not love. So instead of breaking things off completely, we decided to take a break, without really any real contact for a couple weeks or so, and after that, if the affection was still there we'd try again, but this time we'll take it slow.

 

Is there any chance that this relationship could work? Does the fact that we are close friends help the situation? Or is it doomed because we already did the serious relationship and it didn't work?

 

I'm hoping that we just weren't ready, and we ran before we even crawled. I was just wondering what people thought about this.

 

Thanks.

[newts]

I hope it works. Everytime you leap from one long term relationship to another there is bound to be problems. Everybody after a break up whether they are the dumper or dumpee needs sometime to discover themselves again otherwise it ends up the way yours had.

 

Hopefully you can have this break and then if you do get back together, try to be just friends, treat it as though you have just meet for the first time.

 

Some people just fall in love with people when the relationship they are currently in is falling apart, and then 10 months down the track they realise it was the previous relationship they wanted out of and didn't want to go through the separation anxiety on their own, so they try to move to the next stage of their life without any consideration of their new partner.

 

I hope it works out for you.

[Tigris]

It's possible that the 'in love' stage of your relationship hasn't lasted very long because you were already friends. This however, does not mean that you don't love each other! It could mean that your love is on a deeper level of attachment.

 

It is possible that this relationship will succeed.

 

Good luck, take care and most of all, be patient.

[heloladies21]

After this long it doesn't make a difference if you took it slow or not. You got past the point where it would matter a long time ago. She doesn't know why her feelings have changed, feelings just change sometimes for no reason.

 

Best thing to do now is No Contact. Stay busy and start talking to other girls. If she cares about you all of her feelings will come back and she'll get back in touch with you, but she's going to have to prove that she deserves another chance because she's the one who broke it off.

[Shady_Forever]

shes a player drop her!!

[Shady_Forever]

and why would you break a relationship up for your own good? That is a little selfish. I spend alot of time getting back at people for making mistakes like that by screwing around with my emotions and feelings for other people. Crap like that will make people lose all respect for society. Just dont do it. Its rude and totally not cool!

[may55]

I dunno, sounds like she may be showing a pattern here. First the boyfriend before you, now you.

 

Maybe get her talking about what she means. Get busy doing things on your own without her. Sometimes a little space is all people need. And it may make her realize that you are you with or without her, maybe get her memory refreshed on why she was with you in the first place.

 

Good luck!