ncisive Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I was just wondering what the best way to go about getting someone back if they found someone else, literally right after she broke up with me, but still misses me and cries over me. She says he treats her better than I did, but all I want is a chance to show her how good I can treat her, what do I do to win her back? Link to comment
SuperDuper Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 By not caring if you're good enough or not. I'd advise you to let out your feelings to her, tell her how you feel.. but don't be pushy. Once you do this, back off. Do your own thing. If she wants you, she'll come back to you. I wish I could take my own advice Link to comment
Orlander Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Well, you have to separate yourself from the thinking that you have to "win" her back. It isn't healthy. If you want her back then spend some time working on the fact that she feels you are not treating her well enough for her. Tell her you want her back and tell her you will work on treating her better. Give her flowers or whatever you think is appropriate. Ask her but dont beg. If she says she does not want to be with you, then NC is the way to go for you, at least for a couple of weeks. After that time, maybe contact her again and see how she feels. Most important is don't beg and dont make any demands on her. Orlander Link to comment
AlwaysNeedHelp Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Yeah i agree you shouldnt think about it too much.. Tell her how you feel and let her decide.. While you are waiting for her answer, you can try to show her how you can be nice to her.. Link to comment
Paranoid Android Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Sorry, ncisive, I've no idea what the history of this relationship is - who broke up with who and whatnot. Here's my advice regardless. First of all, think about it long and hard. Why did the relationship ended, why is she seeking solace in another person? If you didn't give her the attention she needed, why do you think it'll change this time around? Is it just because she's gone and you miss the thought of having a girl friend? Why do you want her back? Ask yourself all these questions. Anyway, if you're determined to get her back I think you need to really communicate with her. Tell her, if she's willing to work it out, maybe the two of you can work it out. Ask for another chance. Tell her how you feel, how you want to change, how you want to be better. After that, there's nothing left to do but wait for her response. Don't be persistent. Let her think things through. If you could, give her all the space and time in the world. If she's willing to give you another chance, make sure you do things differently from then on out. If you've been neglecting her or if you haven't been very attentive, change it and be sure to show it. Talk is cheap, they say. So show her how much she means to you. And I don't mean the usual sending of flowers and chocolates. Do something you've never done before. Something spontaneous, something she'd really appreciate. Link to comment
krissbrown Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Find someone better looking than her and flaunt it in her face and forget her. She doesnt want you, she found someone new, if you try and win her back, she will laugh at you. take my advice. I was just wondering what the best way to go about getting someone back if they found someone else, literally right after she broke up with me, but still misses me and cries over me. She says he treats her better than I did, but all I want is a chance to show her how good I can treat her, what do I do to win her back? Link to comment
Boricua7 Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Find someone better looking than her and flaunt it in her face and forget her. She doesnt want you, she found someone new, if you try and win her back, she will laugh at you. take my advice. I'm not sure this is the best thing to do. This seems like something a spiteful person would do and I doubt that you want to lower yourself to do something like this because not only will it make you look like an idiot but you will come accross as a jerk and that's the last thing you want. If you want her back you don't want to do anything to purposely anger her or give her reason to push you out of her life. All you can do is be there for her as a friend. Let her know how you feel. If you truly want a second chance then you need to put yourself out there. Then, you're going to have to wait because she has a lot going on. She's got this new man's feelings to consider as well as her own and yours so give her time after you tell her what you feel. Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Nothing you can do at this point. When a girl finds someone else it's the point of no return. If you wanna do what's right for you, go No Contact and put her in the past. Do your best to move on and start talking to other girls. She'll never come back to you and if she found another guy right after dumping you, she never truly cared about you anyways. Link to comment
PB Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I agree with most of the advice given. I've been sort of in your frame of mind for most of the last year (yes--year!). My ex (& coworker) quickly got involved with someone new after our breakup. They are still together and will most likely get married. I had the notion for a long time that I could win her back because she still expresses very strong feelings for me (like your ex is doing towards you). It has not happened, and I don't think it ever will. We have sort of been forced to maintain a friendship because we work closely together and see each other every day. I am happy for our opportunity to stay friends, but this has made it much more difficult for me to move on. If you can move on and not see each other much, I am sure your experience will be better. I know how frustrating it can be when it seems as if a little act of kindness or word here or there might swing the scales in your favor. The fact is though, if she is reasonably happy with the new person, she will probably not change her direction now based on *your* behavior. If she finds out later that he is a jerk (*his* behavior--over which you have no control), she might reconsider you at that time. Then you might have to decide if you want to be with someone who at least for a period of time, preferred to be with a jerk rather than you. Good luck! I was just wondering what the best way to go about getting someone back if they found someone else, literally right after she broke up with me, but still misses me and cries over me. She says he treats her better than I did, but all I want is a chance to show her how good I can treat her, what do I do to win her back? Link to comment
krissbrown Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I diasgree, The girl dumped him and is telling him her new boyfriend treats her much better. That sounds really spiteful to me. She needs a taste of her own medicine. Link to comment
Boricua7 Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I diasgree, The girl dumped him and is telling him her new boyfriend treats her much better. That sounds really spiteful to me. She needs a taste of her own medicine. Telling someone that they are being treated better is not spiteful. Spiteful means showing malicious ill will and a desire to hurt. She is not trying to hurt him by telling him she is happy with her new guy. She is telling him the truth. If he, on the other hand, were to go and flaunt in her face a better-looking girl that would be spiteful because he would be doing it intentionally to hurt her. Oh, and just because someone hurt you does not give you the right to turn around and hurt them too. That's just evil and childish. Link to comment
healinginnyc81 Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 I would agree with heloladies, there's no going back. If she's with someone else who she thinks treats her better you are not going to "win" her back. Why would she leave a good thing right now for someone she's not sure about? My ex left me for another guy and she said the same things: "I am happy with him and he treats me good." The only way that she will come back to you is if you stop contacting her and make sure that you work on improving yourself and she ends up not having the same connection with the new guy and remembers what she had with you. DON'T work on yourself to get her back, work on the things that you think will make you a stronger and better person and work on being happy without her. It may take a while but once you feel better, you should start dating other women. At that point you can contact her if you still think you have potential with her. But from what a lot of people have said it sounds like once you've improved yourself and gotten over the ex, you usually start to realize that there were bad things in the relationship and maybe you realize that it wasn't a healthy relationship at all. Also, it depends very much on the new guy and how happy she is with the new guy. But by not contacting her and working on yourself you'll prepare yourself to move on if she has found a better relationship and you'll be more confident that you can find someone better too. Link to comment
healinginnyc81 Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 krissbrown, I think what you're saying works sometimes to attract the ex back (if she's not truly happy in her new relationship and if she doesn't see through your manipulation); but I think it's a short term solution because the problems in the relationship will still be there and you haven't really changed anything - you've just gotten her back through jealousy. So the relationship will not be a healthy one and you're bound to repeat the same mistakes. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now