Does he fancy me?

[Damon T]

I've had 6 dates up to now and we've been getting on great.we talked on the phone for 3 hours last week and he pays me loads of compliments as i do to him and we just seem to click.the time before last i saw him we cuddled on the coach for ages and it felt right and we kissed but i sensed he didn't want to and he said the next day we shouldn't have done as it was too soon and he wanted to get to know me more mentally. when i last saw him i said i couldn't stop thinking about him and that i wanted him. i asked him if he fancied me and he couldn't say yes.he said he really liked being with me and stuff. i know i've probably made it worse and might have scared him off. i'm just confused as he's said i'm hot in texts and said he can't sleep thinking about me and was talking about me to his friends at work but he didn't say he fancied me!!! does he just see me as a nice guy who's fun to be with or does he find me sexually attractive??

i ended up saying we'll just say we're friends then last time i saw him he came back to mine and we went to bed! he said he enjoyed it a lot and now we've ended up saying we'll go back to how we were dating and see what happens, he said he doesn't wanna rush into the physical part. am i heading for a fall fooling myself or should i go with the flow?

sorry about all the questions and shoddy grammar!!

anyone any opinions?

thanks in advance

damon

[mgirl]

If you've been following the thread, "Are gay men really that vain?", you may be pleased that he is taking the time to get to know you.

 

I think it sounds fine. He has allowed himself to participate in physical and romantic activities with you and has said he wants to take it slow. It's good news that at least one gay guy out there values psychological compatibility!

 

If you really like him, just continue on with the way things are and take it slow. That he has not said that he "fancies" you, does not mean he doesn't. He may be one of those shy people who like to take their time to get to know somebody and this is reinforced by the fact that he texts you are "hot", rather than telling you to your face.

 

On the whole though, i think it is good to get to know somebody in the flesh. Electronic communication should be used to compliment what is already there and the foundations that are laid through person to person contact.

[Prufrock06]

Agreed.

 

I don't think you're fooling yourself -- it seems like he really has a thing for you but just wants to take things slowly, to invest more time in your relationship Though I can't speak for this person, from the way you describe him I would guess that he's much more interested in sparking a real relationship with you than just a superficial fling. Count yourself lucky that you've found a guy who is genuinely interested in an emotional connection with you instead of just a purely physical one. And mgirl's right: he may just be kind of shy about expressing how much he fancies you to your face this early in the game. I know I would be a bit shy -- give him a little more time in that regard. But his actions definitely shout that he fancies you. Absolutely.

[Damon T]

thanks guys. i don't want you both to think i'm only after one thing! i like taking it slow it's just my last boyfriend said he never really fancied me and he thought he would grow to,he never wanted to kiss even after months as he said it was 'unclean'! i suppose i'm just a bit paronoid since then and just want reasurance!!

 

i'm seeing hijm tonight anyway!

thanks for the advice !!!

damon

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[James005]

Ahh yes the joy of beying the insicure gay, jhe sounds just like me. Here's my advice, give it time, if you don't have time to give, then let him know and take off. Im not sure how long your friend has been gay for, or if he has come out to himself. Thats where I am, I just got fed up and realized, Im gay its time for society to like or F-off!. Im glad I did that. Regardless, if your friend is new to the gay thing, give him time, and be there for him. A lot of people have the old school thought of sex in that when you do it you immediately form a bond to this individual. We are taught this from day one, church, parents and school although some are slowly changing. I am realizing that sex is now something you do for fun and relaxation and there isn't all that emotional baggage one must take with him.

So ask him, find out where he is comfortable, what is he comfortable doing and who should make the first step.

hope this helps

 

James

[Damon T]

had a lovely weekend with him,you all reasured me!!

 

why is it you go all insecure when you start dating???? i'm not normally!

 

fingers crossed anyway

 

thanks again peeps,you're all stars!!!!

 

d

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