Fear of Dating?...

[princepesa2]

Anybody else have a fear of dating?

I just got out of a 6 year relationship a few months ago. I haven't of course been dating in the past 6 years (since I was 19). I was asked out on a date today, and now I'm nervous/ slightly regretting that I said yes and gave the guy my number. It's not just that I'm still grieving the loss of my ex, I have full intentions of telling this new guy that I'm not ready to get into a relationship, just want to meet interesting people to hang out with. I'm also a bit nervous about going out with this guy because he's atleast 5 years older than me (I'm guessing) and my ex was a few years younger than me. I don't have many older male friends, so I don't know what to expect from an older guy (i.e. what do men in their early 30's look for in women generally, what are their expectations from a date?) Seems a little naive, I know, but I'm really inexperienced at the single / dating lifestyle.

[secret_agent_man]

Just go have a good time, be comfortable, and don't let it get uncomfortable. If he's a decent guy, he'll work at your pace or slower. Nobody should be pressured, so just tell him politely what you want/need out of the relationship. Or don't even think of it as a relationship. Just having fun with someone isn't illegal, and it may be the best way to get to know him first, without risking anyones disappointment...

[Baffler Meal]

Please let us know how it goes-I'm really curious. My only girlfriend left me 9 days ago after ten years (I'm 25) and I feel lost. People are telling me to "have fun", but it's hard not to imagine myself in a pretty serious realationship. I am hoping to avoid the dating and game playing and let friendships develop into more. The only problem now is that I have no friends yet. Good luck, princepesa2.

[princepesa2]

I know what you mean Baffler. I did read your post before and related to it quite a bit (my ex left me quite suddenly and with very little explanation). I hope you've been doing better lately.

I've also been thinking that the next time I get into a relationship it will be through a friendship that develops into more. Unfortunately, up until now all of my friends were/are my ex's friends too. So I'm trying to meet new people to have fun with (hopefully with shared interests).

Thanks for both of your replies, I'm going to try to keep an open mind.

[secret_agent_man]

No problem, my best to both of you. Let me know how you do!

(hey, maybe you'd be perfect for eachother!!!)