Jonah Posted July 11, 2003 Share Posted July 11, 2003 I want to end my marriage. However, when I initiate a conversation about separation, she exhibits such tremendous emotional anguish that I weaken and tell her that we will work it out. I feel frustrated and very guilty about this. It is not going to get better, my feelings are the same. I am just here. Any advice would be appreciated. Link to comment
Azn_lover Posted July 11, 2003 Share Posted July 11, 2003 well. Breaking up is always a hard thing.... But you shouldnt be with her if you cant love her..... It would only make things worse.... But you gotta do it man... if your feelings wont change at all for her.. and you just cant love her as a wife..... Then you gotta do what you gotta do... BUT, and I mean BUT... stay with her.... You dont have to live with her.. but be there for her when she needs it... and go over and visit sometimes... be a friend to her, so she knows you still care....... Link to comment
Genesis Posted July 11, 2003 Share Posted July 11, 2003 I would try to work on your marriage. You made vows to God before this woman. many times people feelings change during a marriage , but that does not mean that you should leave your wife. You should ask yourslef whatis it that is not making you happy if it is b/c you are with some bimbo then you should put your focus into the marriage. I would suggest reading the bible to consult about advice on marriage GOd never intended for us to just leave out mate b/c we had lukearm feelings. Feelings change often you may leave your wife to find out a year later that youlove her and miss her, but you would have lost all of her trust in youmakingit harder to frogive you. Also 2nd marriages have a higher divorce rate as 1st marriages. You may just drag all of the same problems into any new relationship that you have. I would really reconsider. It would be worht it to at least give it a shot. If you are having problems with lusting after other women, i would advise with your pastor or religious leader for family couseling. Feeling evolve over time and tany woman that you meet will change over time. Love does not have do be passionate at all times. Ask yourslef this If my wife were to die today would I be sad or happy? I hope that you make the right choice and try to work things out before walking out. Link to comment
Jonah Posted July 11, 2003 Author Share Posted July 11, 2003 Just a few additional facts. We have been married 20 years. This is my second marriage and I have been "trying" for years now. She is engaged in a cyber-affair with a man that consists of teleconferencing with exhibitionism and mutual masturbation. This is not a problem for me. The problem is that I find her naive and juvenile. Sexually and socially, she bores me so that I become angry and frustrated. I appreciate all of your observations and suggestions. Link to comment
jimbucktwo1776 Posted July 11, 2003 Share Posted July 11, 2003 Why did you take the vows? That's that. And about her internet chat crap....perhaps you need to stimulate eachother....get her back into you, and you back into her---no pun intended. Link to comment
jimbucktwo1776 Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Generally I'd agree with your rule: "The only obligation YOU have in life, is the obligation for YOU to be happy. If YOU are not happy, you can't make someone else happy." But-and I hope you don't kick me out or anything- after marriage your obligation is not just to yourself. There is more to the situation here than we outsiders can see or read into, so it's good to get a variety of opinions. But generally- I disagree with this rule if there is a marriage. Once there is a marriage, an obligation to your family takes priority over yourself- NO, not in all cases, but generally. Jimbucktwo1776 That's that. Link to comment
geoblue Posted July 13, 2003 Share Posted July 13, 2003 hey jonah, get out of it... if you dont want to be there... and you feel that you have tried all you can, her anguish is emotional blackmail and you shouldn't be forced to live with that. it is your damned life and if she isn't making you happy and causing you to suffer then get out! run free! whatever you do... good luck and take care of yourself first... love, chrystalxx Link to comment
geoblue Posted July 13, 2003 Share Posted July 13, 2003 Ask yourslef this If my wife were to die today would I be sad or happy? Genesis... what kind of a person would he be if he was happy that she died?? After all he is concerned about her feelings because it is her feelings that are restricting him from freedom from a relationship that is obviously not working out.... grrr... just don't like your question.... but take care... geobluexx Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now