Should I break up with him?

[Princess18]

Hi everyone

 

I don't know if i should break up with my boyfriend or not. im 19 and have been with him for 3 years. Im feeling like I need time to be young free and single and try things with other boys (because ive only been with him). I do love him and we are best friends but If i stay with him longer then we'll probably be on the road to marriage and I dont want to tie myself down until ive experienced other things and other relationships. But i would consider marrying him i just wish i hadnt found him yet so i could be free for a while. Ive NEVER experienced being single because ive always been in long term realtionships so im a bit curious. Im so confused because i seriously cant tell him how i feel because i know he'd be devastated and i dont want to upset him.

 

any advice anyone????

[pierlessblake]

i would say becareful your not leaving a good thing.

[melrich]

These feelings you are having are likely to get stonger. At 19 it is young to be able to say you are ready to make a life long commitment.

 

I think it is likely that you will have to get this out of your system because the feelings probably won't go away by themselves.

 

It is often the case that we meet the right person at the wrong time but who knows what may happen down the track.

[lady00]

Be very careful. A lot of people decide they want freedom and to explore, be single etc only to find that the single life is not all it's cracked up to be. On the other hand, you shouldn't stay with him if you are not 100% into it (in my opinion, that is worse and more hurtful in the long run than breaking up right now). What I do in tough situations like this is...go with my gut instinct. What does your gut tell you? If it says break up, listen to it. But weigh the consequences of your actions carefully either way. If you break up, he won't just wait around for you (well he might, but he'd be a fool to do that). But you should do what is right for you...in other words, don't keep him around if your main fear is losing his friendship because that's not fair to him. You may lose his friendship by breaking up but that should not stop you from doing what you feel is right for you, if you think breaking up is the right thing to do.

[redandblack]

Hey,

 

Seriously think about what you are about to do before you do anything. Your boyfriend probably will not want to talk to you again if things are okay in the relationship. He will be completely crushed no matter how nicely you try to break up with him. It will be hard and you might be very lonely. The single life very commonly isn't as great as it seems. It's characteristic of a lot of heartbreak, disappointment, shallowness and lonleness, but it does have it's exciting points.

 

However, if you still feel like you need to see what else is out there don't let him stop you. Staying in a relationship you aren't committed to is one of the worst things you can possibly do. However, don't expect him to come back to you. If he loves you enough to consider marriage to you, he will feel very betrayed.

 

Consider your options and think deeply. Do what is best for your future.

 

Goodluck.

[Eyre]

I'm not saying to stay, but that "free and single" life isn't that great. Yes it is fun to go out with people, but the goal of dating is to meet someone you can care about. Someone who you trust and love and get along with. I recently broke up with my boyfriend because I was moving to start school and at the time he was the more devastated....

 

Yet as every day has past I miss him more. But it has been long enough now that he has started seeing a new girl. I all of the reasons I used for breaking up are still there...but I miss him anyway. Because we have stayed friends I have to lie to him every time I talk to him and say that I'm glad that he is happy. I am...but it hurts that he has found it easier to move on than I have. I've had opportunities to see other guys, and thought it was what I wanted, but it seems that yet again on matters of my own heart...I was the clueless one.

 

Don't let this keep you from leaving if you really feel that is what you need to do, but sometimes relationships end anyway, consider that sometimes it is better to let a relationship end on its own terms and not early just because you have a few doubts about where it may end up. You may lose a great relationship by worrying so much about where things will end up...consider enjoing the ride while it is still good.

[moondog627]

You already know what you have to do. Once the seed has been planted in your head there's no coming back. Like a previous poster said, those feelings are only likely to intensify. My ex is going thru the same thing you are. She left me to be single. And I know for a fact she will never find a guy who treats her as well as I did. But she would never know that by staying with me. Just like when your parents warn you about making mistakes or learning something the hard way, sometimes we simply have to go thru it ourselves. Such is life. It doesn't make you a bad person. My only suggestion to you would be if you decide to let him go, leave and don't come back. You'll only hurt him if you string him along. And have no illusions, if you leave him now and realize you made a mistake later you have almost no chance of getting him back later. Best of luck to you.