I need help

Ok, there is this girl in my school, were good friends, however, I have developed a crush on her, I want her to be my girlfriend, I really need advice, how do I make her my girlfriend? I really like her, I only think she likes me as a friend though, I can't ask her out because I'm too shy, any advice?

 

Thanks

[ShySoul]

You can't make someone your girlfriend, it has to happen naturally. Any websites or books you see about how to make someone attracted to you, how to "seduce women" isn't right and should be ignored. First understand that there is a chance she doesn't feel the same way. You need to be open for any possibility.

 

However, that doesn't mean you should sit back and say nothing. If you do then you'll always question yourself and wonder what could have happened. You'll probably beat yourself up over not saying something to her. If you have these feelings, it is best to do something.

 

How does she act around? Is there any indication she may like you as well?

 

If you do say something, try not to be nervous. Just say that you think she is a really great girl and you are wondering if she wants to go out sometime. Don't make it to formal. Let her know that you are ok if she doesn't feel the same and that you want the friendship to stay the same no matter what. Try not to worry about what could happen, just be in the moment.

 

And if you are really scared, the secret admirer/love note thing is always romantic.

 

Don't be afriad. I'm shy to and have always had the same problem. I just know that if you don't say something, you'll carry that with you for years and it will make it harder the next time. Best to take a chance when it is there. Good luck and let me know if you need anymore help.

Thanks for the advice, I will try something out, I appreciate this

[MetallicAguy]

Secret Admirer imo just shows that you aren't enough of a man to ask her out or express it in someway that she knows its you. Dude, get some guts, then talk to this girl, then at the end of the conversation ask her out. Just ask her out. It honestly is WAY easier than you think. And if you get rejected, who cares...there's plenty more girls out there.

 

If you want to know if she likes you just check out her body language. (Look it up on google...)

 

Does she smile at you on a daily basis, does she stare at you for quite a while and put one hand on her hip, does she go out of her way to say hi?, etc.

^ All those and more are some good signs..look up the rest of 'em on google. But mostly trust your gut feeling, you'll know if the girl's into you or not, all of this body language stuff is perceived through our subconscious, so trust it. If you feel negative and she's not interested, at least ask her out just to check if she rejects you, well hey she's not interested and that's life move on.

[ShySoul]

I've talked to numerous girls, of all ages, who said they though a secret admirer was romantic. It's a good first step if you are really shy. You get to share a little of your feelings and gauge her reaction without being to far out there. You just have to make sure that when you start it, you follow through and don't back out.

[Dating Coach]

Of course a girl is going to think a secret admirer is sweet and romantic, but that doesn't mean that they will have any romantic interest in a secret admirer at all. I've seen way too many secret admirers get this response: "OMG that is SO sweet of you! Thank you!" *big hug* and then... the answer turns out to be, "I'm really flattered but I see us best as just friends."

 

The problem with a secret admirer is that the admirer usually is much more along in the attraction than the other person-if that other person is attracted at all. If I have noticed that a girl was kind of cute, and then one day I get this gift of flowers or candy, etc from her, I would be flattered but I would also be like; "Whoa, were did this come from? I don't even know this person really..." If my interest isn't just as deep, then someone pulling the secret admirer routine would only be flattering, it wouldn't buy my affections. If they are that much further ahead of me with romantic feelings then I would be turned off romantically.

 

Whether people say it or not, it is best and most comfortable for the two people to grow romantically together, not one person being head over heels and the other person playing catch up or wondering how this person can be so stuck on them without ever growing that way together. It reeks of deseration and clinginess.

[ShySoul]

???,

 

Follow your heart and do what is right for you. Anything said here is just suggestions, you know what it is that you are comfortable with and want to do. There are never any guarantees that it will work no matter what you decide to do. So listen to yourself and do what you feel in your heart that you should do.

 

It is nice to say that are feelings should grow together. But in every relationship someone will develop stronger feelings first. It's just natural. The question we should be asking ourself is, do we want to hold them back and make sure she feels exactly the same way, or do we want to take a chance. Doing the secret admirer thing is not about buying someone's affection. It is not about being desparate or clingy. If you do it, fully recognize that there are no guarantees. Instead what it is about is a step in the direction of admitting your feelings. Someone who is shy is likely to balk at the idea of going up to the girl and saying he likes her and ask her out. He won't respond well to being told to do that. So you need to work with the person and make them comfortable. A secret admirer helps to ease a person into the idea of saying how you feel. The girl will most likely respond favorably to a note, and seeing that can boost the guys confidence. As long as he remembers that nothing is for certain, then the secret admirer is a good thing.

 

??? (love the name by the way ), whatever you decide to do, just make sure it is right for you.