I'm in that "crazy" place

[frani]

My boyfriend and I have been living together for two years and now he's saying he doesn't know if he wants to live together past when the lease is over in December. He's not 100 per cent sure and might be willing to stay together as roommates. He wants us to just go through the summer and not really talk about it and just be "peaceful" but I keep wanting to talk about it. I don't know what to do. How do I keep a lid on my emotions. I know he's saying he wants out. I'm just in denial. I know that. It's just that I didn't see it coming. We were having arguments and stuff, but I thought that was natural to relationships. He just keeps saying now he might want to be alone.

 

I'm so sad. Any advice would help.

[jake0001]

maybe sit down and talk to him about whats going on. communication is key. you cant keep your emotions to yourself cause that will make it even worse when you guys do get into an argument about it. the best is to talk about it is when the both of you are in a calm mood.

 

tell him you want to talk about whats going to be going on in december so that you know whats going to be going on in the future. tell him its better to talk about it rather than bottle it up till december then when it comes back up in december and it will be ten times worse than it is now.

[reborn]

Honey,

It must be horrible being where you are at right now. There is not much anyone can say to make you feel better, but it is a good thing that you are seeking help and confort on this forum. I am just going through the difficult emotions associated with a breakup and I find it very helpful to vent here. Also there is are very supportive people going through the same that will read your thoughts, give you good advice and just offer you general support to hang in there.

 

Please try to remain calm, and seek the support of friends and family. You need all your resources right now. As I said it sounds like a very difficult situation to live through. It is like living through a slow death. Plus he doesn´t want to talk about it leaving you no margin to talk about it or to make things right.

 

Please, grab all your stregnth and good sense to the degree that you are able to. Don´t act out of pride but don´t fall victim to this either. If there is nothing you can do about things now, and you don´t think you can handle living in this hell do what you must. It will be hard but might be healthier for you than waiting passively until december.

 

I am not saying leave him or throw him out. This is a very personal decision about YOUR life that nobody can make for you. But know you have other options. Empower yourself. Don´t be a victim. It won´t be easy and it will and is painful but you can and will survive.

 

I am cheering you on. If you need to talk, whatever, please send me a private message. And just keep writing on this forum. I will say a prayer for you. Keep hanging there, don´t fall into the negative. Get all your friend´s and family to give you love, strenght and support now.

 

Keep hanging there. It is hard but you can do it.

 

Reborn

[reborn]

I want to add to my last posting. Another thing you can do is calm down, agree with him for now, but look for professional help in the sense of counseling. I often suggest a website that I find very usefull soulmateoracle. You can get expert advice.

 

A good sign I see is that he doesn´t want to move out right away. If he really, really, really wanted out right now he would leave. When a man wants out they just go. So, maybe is some sort of warning. Maybe he doesn´t realize is a warning. But you can too.

 

You have enough time from here to december to change things around. If you don´t get anxious about it, don´t pursue and handle things with emotional inteligence.

 

At least you are getting a warning and some time whether it is put in this manner or not. When my boyfriend broke up with me, we didn´t leave together, but he just needed space and left my life, supposedly for 3 months until things were more settled. But, at the end he just felt, decided, realized he no longer loved me. So, when they can´t stand it they just leave.

 

Another thing you might find helpful is reading about the stages of dating in Mars Venus dating books. They talk about an uncertainty stage where people have doudbst about their partner. I remember reading biggest mistake women do at these times is pursuing. So try to give him his space and get the book and all reading material you can.

 

Ok. hope things turn out well for you. Let me know how things turn out.And remember KEEP POSITIVE regardless of the circumstances. Find the strenght and the calm amist the storm in YOU: YOU need you right now.