i think i messed up...

[TheWriter1]

hey,

 

I think i might have made a mistake...you see lately i've been talking to this girl who does have a boyfriend (i know thats a red-flag and im evil...please don't remind me) we weren't talking like we were about to date but feelings for each other had come up. She would say things like "I never want you to think that i don't want to talk to you, i love talking to you ****** we had everything in common too, got along great, talked easily...

 

One night i was telling her that i wanted a girl who appreciated me, a sweet girl who knew alot about sports since that was what i was in to, she responded with, "well, i would tell you something right now but i would have the most guilty conscious...you get the gist of what im saying though right?"

 

Recently she said that she would be breaking up with her boyfriend if something about their relationship didn't change (he gets nervous and really scared around her, so they've only kissed once in about 2 months and it was just a peck) i was awaiting this...a week or so goes by and it doesn't look like its going to happen any time soon....

 

I mean we walk together in the halls after class sometimes, she always says hi to me in the hallways with big smiles (even right next to the BF) i know she likes me...at least i think i know she does

 

Until today, it was just building up so much, i have so many feelings for her that i did something pretty stupid, i texted her and said this,

 

"you might get mad at me for saying this given the circumstances but i wanted to say that i wished i had came up to you a week or 2 earlier, i think we would have been really great together, i feel better having gotten it off my chest lol"

 

the response? a simple, "what the hell" and i haven't heard from her since...

 

What did i do? I know this is scandalous...once again please don't remind me...just tell me what to think about this?

 

Thanks guys...

[WyseOne]

Is it possible that her boyfriend was with her when you texted her and he may have seen it?

[TheWriter1]

if he was then i bet im in for one fun day of school tomorrow eh?

[WyseOne]

The response she gave could only mean that she was offended by it, for what reasons no one really knows. See if you can approach her while she is alone and find out.

[kellbell]

She probably didn't understand your text. It's not a good idea to talk about important things and feelings via text, IMing, email, etc. It's hard to decifer what is being said, the tone of voice, body language, etc. Just talk to her at school tomorrow and apologize about the confusing text and try to clear things up.

[italianstalian]

WOW......................shut dooooown

[TheWriter1]

heh..just talked to her...basically alot of oh i could never be mad at you's and awh were you sad ******* i dont want to make you sad...

 

not a long conversation or anything but it turns out she didn't know what it meant, my bad

[PocoDiablo]

She probably didn't understand your text. It's not a good idea to talk about important things and feelings via text, IMing, email, etc. It's hard to decifer what is being said, the tone of voice, body language, etc. Just talk to her at school tomorrow and apologize about the confusing text and try to clear things up.

Totally agree. You kids have to learn to get off the phone, email, SMS, etc., and into real life.

 

I think i might have made a mistake...you see lately i've been talking to this girl who does have a boyfriend (i know thats a red-flag and im evil...please don't remind me)

You're not evil, you are gullible and a sucker. Here is a woman who is getting mature attention from her boyfriend and womanly companionship from you. She's a lot smarter than you! You are getting nothing!

 

we weren't talking like we were about to date but feelings for each other had come up. She would say things like "I never want you to think that i don't want to talk to you, i love talking to you ****** we had everything in common too, got along great, talked easily...

So she likes talking to you. Like a girlfriend. That's not good in my book. I want more than that from a woman, not to be her emotional pincushion.

 

One night i was telling her that i wanted a girl who appreciated me, a sweet girl who knew alot about sports since that was what i was in to, she responded with, "well, i would tell you something right now but i would have the most guilty conscious...you get the gist of what im saying though right?"

Ah, she is teasing you. And you're setting her up and then falling for it. How nice of her to make you feel loved. Even though she likes someone else. Does that sound about right? Remember, girls are usually very nice to their friends. They also say things like "No, you're not too fat. 180 pounds is fine for 5' 2". You look great!"

 

Recently she said that she would be breaking up with her boyfriend if something about their relationship didn't change (he gets nervous and really scared around her, so they've only kissed once in about 2 months and it was just a peck) i was awaiting this...a week or so goes by and it doesn't look like its going to happen any time soon....

Actions speak louder than words. Don't hold your breath....

 

I mean we walk together in the halls after class sometimes, she always says hi to me in the hallways with big smiles (even right next to the BF) i know she likes me...at least i think i know she does

Sure, she likes you. You're a nice guy. You say nice things to her. But you do it like a child does to his mother. You kiss up to her. She may like you, but not in a mature way similar to how she sees a boyfriend, because he is a real man and does not do that. He treats her honestly and with respect, would never be involved with a taken women, and gives her butterflies (chemistry, sexual tension) when he is around.

 

Until today, it was just building up so much, i have so many feelings for her that i did something pretty stupid, i texted her and said this,

 

"you might get mad at me for saying this given the circumstances but i wanted to say that i wished i had came up to you a week or 2 earlier, i think we would have been really great together, i feel better having gotten it off my chest lol"

As soon as you start talking serious to a woman, you're going to crash and burn. You just told her that you've been lying to her all along, and had no intentions of being her friend. You've just been trying to get in her pants. You totally slapped her in the face and treated her like a piece of meat. Not a good move.

 

You, too, need to learn to comunicate with actions and not words. You don't need tell her things like that, you need to make your actions match your needs. You needed to ask her on a date. You needed to tell her "Hey, I really like you, so when you dump your boyfriend come see me. I'll promise to kiss you at least 3 times. " and be funny about it. Then leave her alone until she comes to her senses.

 

When she does, avoid the serious talks - they are no fun and put you in friend zone fast. Relax, get involved in a fun and romantic way. Flirt. Joke around. Go out. Make sure she knows you want to DATE her right off the bat. Then get to know her by asking lots of questions and getting her to elaborate. Don't talk about cars, computers, sex, your achievements (bragging), religion, politics, guns, war, blood and guts. Keep it light and fun.

 

the response? a simple, "what the hell" and i haven't heard from her since...

Yup, you blew it. That's really too bad, but it is also a very valuable lesson you just learned. Are you going to learn from this? It's very important that you do! You have to learn not to do this again, or you will fail again and again.

 

What did i do? I know this is scandalous...once again please don't remind me...just tell me what to think about this?

Nothing to do. You need to hang your head in shame and move on. You also need to understand that women expect men to be men - they expect you to ask them out from the get-go. If you don't ask them on a date, and instead go for the friends routine, they are going to think you are a child-like, nuetered, non-sexual little boy. Then to "admit" that you had other intentions, they realize you are a wolf trying to deceive them. That's a really bad thing. You have to understand that you NEED to be honest from the start! It's so important, really!

 

I bet she stays with her boyfriend for a long time, seeing as how he's at least honest to her.

[shorty20]

if u want my suggestion.... this girl seems to like you... ALOT. I would just befriend her. Help her with homework, hang out as friends... don't put any moves on her or try anything, just hang out. The more she hangs out with you and realizes how much fun it is to be with someone who isn't scared of her (instead of her bf who can't even gather up the courage to kiss her) then she'll realize what she's missing... hopefully. If you try something, she might resent you for it, and so will he... too much drama if you ask me. I would just wait things out and keep doin what you're doin. Hopefully she'll come around. Good luck!