Are shy guys players when drunk?

[b-ion]

Are they players? No.

 

But drinking to a certain extent, gives you some artificial confidence.

 

exactly And it seems when i'm drunk i can carry on a conversation longer and won't care about what's coming out of my mouth and what the other person thinks of me

[ShySoul]

exactly And it seems when i'm drunk i can carry on a conversation longer and won't care about what's coming out of my mouth and what the other person thinks of me

 

But you also stand a greater chance of saying things you will regret and be embarrassed by later. Is the trade off really worth it?

 

And do you want to live with artificial confidence, or work on having the real thing?

[Mix Maxster]

Actually I have a lot to say about this (as if I don't have a lot to say in general), but what gets me about this is that more times than not it stays in a friendship zone. If the guy tries to make the move and she's not interested, who's to say he wouldn't have gotten further if he made the move before they become friends? I think what I agree with is taking it slowly and getting to know them LIKE a friend, but to become one to see if there is potential for attraction and a relationship well that's where it gets sticky because attraction isn't based on conscious awareness.

 

With all that happens in this world, it's not a surprise that girls should like to get to know someone before they do anything with that person, but is there a big difference between the person you know within 5 minutes and the one you know 5 months or years later? I've become friends with many people and I laugh at how many friends I know and who know me, I barely know any of them at all really. Based on feeling essentially and it occurred to me tonight why it is that there are so many people I know that stay at a distance, in fact my ex was one of them. It's so easy to love someone and still not know anything about them.

[Derge]

When im drunk i will be more honest and be alot more daring although I will ahve complete control, I talk to girls loads and I feel good it also gives you a good conversation starter. My friend/enemy's girlfriend was at a party with him and I was flirting with her all afternoon I didnt care because they were on the rocks (since broke up) and he treated her like * * * *. I even hugged her for hours this would be hard for me to do otherwise. I wish there was a way to keep this confidence without being pissed because obviously it can cause no end of trouble. I can talk to girls I just cant make my feelings known but im working on that.

how is everyone?

[swtpea1221]

I'm doing well, and I haven't drank since I started the thread. Granted, the temptation is always there, and I agree like everyone else, that it is easier to talk to someone when I am drunk, although I am learning that maybe we weren't meant to talk to that person in the first place if that is the only way that we can effectively communicate with them.

 

Maybe it's just not our time to be open with someone. Maybe we're supposed to be shy right now and stay to ourselves. Perhaps this is time for us to learn and grow on our own so that we may become stronger for the time when it is meant for us to meet the right one. This is the new philosophy that I've had as of late, and I must say, it's very comforting. I feel completely at peace with my decisions and just try to follow my path instead of wondering if I am supposed to change it to fit with someone else's.

 

I am told that when it's right, we will know, and I firmly believe that. If we ask, we shall receive, right? If you want what I used to want (to have short-term fun, random hookups, dramatic stories to tell...etc.) then go drinking and talk to the people you are too scared to talk to in person. But if you want something really meaningful (as I think all of us in this forumn want), then maybe you need to stop drinking so you can get your life together and be the strong individual that you are supposed to become.

 

This is so different from what I would've said a few months ago!! But I'm learning so much lately, and I have to share it with you!!

 

And lastly, don't beat yourselves up so much about thinking that you aren't doing enough to attract the right girl. You may think you're doing everything wrong, but maybe you are doing everything right by being yourself. I, myself, enjoy shy guys. They are so humble and kind!! I LOVE THEM!!! So stay yourselves!!!!

[Derge]

alright sweet pea ive been building up my confidence for some time now and also execising using anti spot things and Im improving my look with women alreadt. If I knew you liked shy guys i wouldnt have bothered.

[ShySoul]

swtpea1221,

 

Just noticed the post and I have to say I admire and respect your attidude. You've got a great philosophy there. Hope you are doing well and have a happy holiday.