comalies Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 So I've just started dating a girl. I got her number at her work last week and we went out for coffee on sunday and we went out to dinner tonight. First, the coffee date. she told me she was really flattered I asked her out at her work and she even through in a "he is cute" comment about me when talking with her co workers. The whole coffee date went pretty good, I ended up giving her a kiss on her hand after she hugged me. Fast forward to tonight, we go out to dinner at a nice sit down place, we have really good conversation. Dinner goes good. I walked her out to her car in hopes of giving her a kiss, but I got the cheek, you know how that is. Maybe i'm moving too fast for her.. But she did say that we will go out again next week and for me to give her a call. I've decided next time to just give her a hug and leave it at that, well maybe do that the next few dates. What do you girls make of this?? Thanks Link to comment
smallworld Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 I think things are going really well! I wouldn't read too much into the kiss on the cheek. A lot of girls -- no matter how hot the guy is -- aren't comfortable kissing right away. Next time go for a hug that lingers, but as you pull away, brush your lips softly against her hair and then her cheek. Look into her eyes and she'll let you know if she wants more. Link to comment
antigravity Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 I think you should give her another kiss on the cheek. There's no need to relegate yourself down to a hug. She sounds like a nice girl. Good luck dude. Link to comment
comalies Posted November 10, 2005 Author Share Posted November 10, 2005 She really is a nice girl. I guess it's good she wants to go out again early next week.. I'll stick with your ideas, I just want her to let me know if she wants more than a kiss on the cheek. Link to comment
comalies Posted November 10, 2005 Author Share Posted November 10, 2005 Should I just wait to call her on monday then? She said she has a lot going on this weekend but she wants to do coffee early next week. Link to comment
antigravity Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 I don't think there's anything wrong with calling her Sunday. You never know, she may ask to do something on Sunday if she's not busy. I'd call on Sunday, to organise something for early in the week, but be up for seeing her Sunday if she's free. Link to comment
comalies Posted November 10, 2005 Author Share Posted November 10, 2005 Sounds like a good plan. Thanks! Link to comment
antigravity Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 Sounds like a good plan. Thanks! No problems.. Let us all know how you go. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 Things are going really good and you are absolutely NOT going too fast. I'd say her interest level is in the 80% range which is pretty good for this early. Keep doing the things you are and stop doubting yourself! Link to comment
comalies Posted November 11, 2005 Author Share Posted November 11, 2005 That's my biggest problem, doubting myself. I go in panic mode if one minor thing goes wrong. I've also been out of the dating loop for about a year, so that doesn't help!! I'm just gonna take it slow though. Thanks for reinforcing that things are in fact going pretty good for me! I'll keep you updated, i'm not going to call her or hang out with her for a few days, but I will post again when it does happen. Link to comment
comalies Posted November 13, 2005 Author Share Posted November 13, 2005 Well, I called her earlier today to see if she wanted to hang out but she did not return my call. She did say she was busy all weekend, but I figured i'd give it a shot. I'll call her monday and see whats up. Link to comment
comalies Posted November 15, 2005 Author Share Posted November 15, 2005 I called her monday and this was when we were supposed to plan something out for this week, and of course she did not call back. This will be the last time I call her. I also went to the bank where she works and she was there. I cashed my check and she saw me and just did not want to look at me. Oh well, i'd rather have a girl tell me that i'm not her type instead of them ignoring, some can be so rude. I guess she didn't like me trying to kiss her on the 2nd date.. ON the bright side, I went out with a different girl over the weekend, and we are chatting via email. Link to comment
Jadtt Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 I think you are fine. Once you hit the three date threshold, you'll probably see more of each other. I just started seeing a man and we hung out 5 times before we kissed, I threw in the kiss on the cheek as well. I think it shows that she is emotionally mature and knows that taking it slow is better than moving too fast. For instance....me and my guy kissed this past Sunday, but it was just light kissing and I wouldn't "make-out" with him. It doesn't mean that I'm not attracted to him or that I don't like him, it just means that I am only comfortable with a little bit of kissing and cuddling right now. GOOD LUCK!!! You're doing fine! Link to comment
Jadtt Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 I called her monday and this was when we were supposed to plan something out for this week, and of course she did not call back. This will be the last time I call her. I also went to the bank where she works and she was there. I cashed my check and she saw me and just did not want to look at me. Oh well, i'd rather have a girl tell me that i'm not her type instead of them ignoring, some can be so rude. I guess she didn't like me trying to kiss her on the 2nd date.. ON the bright side, I went out with a different girl over the weekend, and we are chatting via email. Just because she doesn't call back right away does not mean she's not interested. You have to remember the other side of the coin here...we are women, sometimes we want to the guy to chase us. This means, we have to appear "busy" and "independent" and keep the guy interested. It's a crazy game...we all play. Just relax and go with the flow, don't worry or think too much and read into her actions. She could've just been shy! Link to comment
comalies Posted November 16, 2005 Author Share Posted November 16, 2005 Well, I'm going to let her call me then. It will show her i'm not afraid to move on and that there are other girls out there. She has yet to call back though! I'll let you know if she ever does. Link to comment
Tomaz Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 wow...At the beginning of the thread I was going to say that alot of people are not comfortable being kissing and such unless it is a commited relationship. but as I read on .... I think she was just throwing you to the side for what ever reason and is too weak to tell you. When my previous love and I got together we met and spent most everyfree momment together for about 30 days before ANYTHING went past hand holding. That time was in valuable to be able to get to know each other! Link to comment
Jadtt Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 wow...At the beginning of the thread I was going to say that alot of people are not comfortable being kissing and such unless it is a commited relationship. but as I read on .... I think she was just throwing you to the side for what ever reason and is too weak to tell you. When my previous love and I got together we met and spent most everyfree momment together for about 30 days before ANYTHING went past hand holding. That time was in valuable to be able to get to know each other! Yeah.... But sometimes a kiss or two is in order, and it is not too much of in-depth physical contact whatsoever. Hey...like I said, making out is completely different. Light kissing is acceptible in my opinion. Really....the time you spend to get to know someone before moving into a more intimate relationship is completely valuable and fun! At the same time, it depends on the relationship and the situation....some people do not want to spend all of their free time with their mate, which is also acceptible. Link to comment
comalies Posted November 17, 2005 Author Share Posted November 17, 2005 After the first time I kissed her on her hand, she seemed to like it, she said it was "sweet". So i figured i'd try kissing her on the lips, I guess every girl is different, but she just should have told me not to and I would have been fine with that. I still don't understand why she just ignored me, I haven't tried calling since Monday and I don't plan to. I've moved on, i''m already talking to other girls. Link to comment
phillygal Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 No offence, but kissing her on the hand is kind of corny. If a guy did that to me, i would've been kind of turned off. Don't get me wrong, i like a man that has manners, but that's just too much, it reminds me of something an old man would do. I think you should either stick with a hug or a kiss on the cheek, its not to forward, but you don't come off as corny or too much of a nice, boring guy. We women like a nice guy, but still with an edge to him. Just my opinion, though Link to comment
comalies Posted November 18, 2005 Author Share Posted November 18, 2005 yeah, basically every woman is different. there are some that like that, some that don't.. oh well, i screwed it up i'll move on..she's missing out on a great guy Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 If you would do it to your mom, then do not do it to her. Link to comment
Orlander Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Glad you have moved on, comalies. Some advice for you: I met my last girlfriend at a book store and asked her out for a simple dinner. During that dinner, I worked three things into our conversation at points where I believed they were apropos. I told her that I thought we should split the dinner check 50/50 (said this before we ordered). I brought up the subject of kissing by saying "I want to have the opportunity of getting to know you without the added pressure/expectations of our first kiss. I think we should hold off on kissing for the first time until we have had 2 or 3 dates, not including this dinner." Lastly, I was truthful and open about my dating expectations. I told her that I was not seeing anyone (which I wasn't) and that I was not interested in having sex until I was in a committed relationship. Seemed to work. We dated for 4 years and was my best relationship so far. Orlander Link to comment
comalies Posted November 18, 2005 Author Share Posted November 18, 2005 I will change my strategy next time. Thanks for the tips. Link to comment
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