My secret pleasure

[nedyak]

Alright given that I am not young, writing this feels embarrassing. So here goes:

I have never had an oragsm and have been having sex for a year. I feel very comfortable with my boyfriend etc. etc. I have a vibrator, which feels good, however, I have never had an orgasm from that. The best feeling I have ever felt is something I have been doing since I was maybe 10 years old or so, and that is putting a pillow between my legs, wrapping my legs around it and basically rubbing on it hard. I get this sensation that I cannot explain. I do not think it is an orgasm, but it feels damn good! I feel weird that when I am horny, all I want to do for pleasure is this.I do not get that much enjoyment from having sex with my boyfiend. (the only enjyment i do get from having sex with him, is that I am making him feel good.) He has tried to pleasure me orally... and that feels okay- nothing too special- just really intimate. We have also tried many positions.

SO I guess my main question is: why would I rather please myself (in this weird way) then do anything else. If I feel that good from a virbrator I would not be ashamed, however the thing I do is embarrassing! And my other questions is: is it bad I like to do this- I mean I know it is rare and that is why I could never tell anyone I do this. I feel like I might go through my whole life, and marriage doing this secretely, becasue it is the only thing that gives me the MOST pleasure.

Older women please reply!!!!!

[miracle29]

Girlfriend, forget the pillow, its time for you to move up a notch. All you have to do is sit under running bath water (adjust it to your pleasure) and not only will you be spot clean, but the feeling you will get from that, will be WAYYYYYyy better then any pillow. I am married now and have not had to do it in years, but when I was younger, I was famous for it. Also be careful not to over do it. But after you try it once you will figure all of this out. Good luck and have fun.

 

P.S.

Please make sure the bath you do this in is VERY CLEAN....if not you will have a bladder infection you wont forget.

 

P.S.S... don't feel guilty about pleasing yourself. Did you know that over 65% of women NEVER have an orgasm from sex? Yes, thats right and its sad, but its true, so do what you have to, to please yourself! And don't let anyone tell you its wrong.

[TLC]

I didn't have a "real" orgasm until I was 26. When it happened it took me completely by surprise.

 

A lot of women tend to want to please their partner first, and put their own pleasure secondary. BUT when it's just you and the pillow, you are concentrating 100% on what YOU want which is why it works. You need to adopt the same mentality when making love with your partner.

Finding out what position, and technique works for you is the key. For me, the only time I will have an orgasm is if am on top, and can control the "grind". You have to let go and allow your body to feel the pleasure. Being a little bit selfish in love making is okay. Your partner will probably get really turned on if you "use" him.

 

Good Luck !!!

[smallworld]

Nedyak, no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed. You aren't harming anyone and the pillow is soft and touches you in all the right places. It sounds like you haven't had an orgasm yet, but you've come very close. Do you think it's possible that you haven't climaxed before because something is holding you back? How's your fantasy life?

 

As for your boyfriend, no matter how wonderful a lover he might be, it's rare for a girl to climax with a lover if she herself doesn't know how to please herself. Like everything else in life, it pays to do your homework.

 

Try this site for starters...

 

[Kamue]

dont ever be ashamed of masturbating! its fun! try manipulating your pillow technique with your boyfriend. i bet hed have no problem helping you! and mircle's got it right! thats a lovely way to feel good (and clean!). i have never climaxed during sex, and i dont really expect too. but nonetheless, masturbating is a wonderful expirence that will help you learn a little more about your secret self . have you ever heard of "Tantra"? look into it, it may help!!

[ocrob]

Ladies, if you don't mind a male's point of view i will give it. I realize it is very challenging to have an orgasm, but I have been told that I have a very good technique. Obviously, you need lots of kissing and caressing. Have your man kiss you and caress your thighs. Have him run his finger nails along your arms and from your feet all the way up to your breasts. Lay back and allow him to caress your buttocks as he gently licks your vigina. He should be very gentle and spread your legs apart. Allow him to spread your lips apart and gently flicker his tongue. Then let him suck very gently over your clit. Soon you will be very wet and he will suck your clit and circle his tongue. There is a lot more he can do, but I thought I was getting a bit inappropriate. Just know he will love it and if he does not do it, then guide him. It seems this in my only talent. lol

 

cya,

 

ocrob

[southpaw]

Personally, I'd go for the clitoral orgasm (I'm a fingers girl myself) as your best bet for an orgasm. I had a friend that used to get off by rubbing herself against a rounded sink (never worked for me). Everyone is different. I think in general girls don't orgasm solely off of just penetration and it took me a long time to have an orgasm through sex and even oral sex so don't be discourage. I think you're more likely to figure it out on your own then through sex, especially since with another person there is sometimes anxiety or a desire to please/not look weird. You've got to be comfortable masturbating on your own before you can do it in front of a partner without it being awkward. Good luck and have fun.