Ladies, please translate

[hnicbj]

i was seeing this girl for about 3 months and everything was cool..we spent a ridiculous amount of time together for the entire relationship..about 2 weeks into seeing her, SHE suggests that we take a vacation together this summer; and we do. during the last leg of the trip, she starts to act very weird and started to distance herself from me..when we got back home, she maintained contact with me, but our relationship definitely bcame a plutonicc one..she told me she just felt like she "needed her space" and to be patient with her..

 

so i geuss i have two questions for the females on this board:

 

1. is saying you "need your space" a nice way of breaking up (permanently), or does it really mean you want to spend less time with a guy for a while and things might eventually get back to normal?

 

2. is the fact that she said "be patient" a sign of hope, or i am i fighting a lost cause?

 

thanks, for your time

HNICBJ

[calibabe007]

I dunno what shhe meant by it but dont smoother her, give her space, while still being involoved in her life!!!

[Katelyn55655]

I'd follow that old saying "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was." She does not control your life. You do.

 

If she said she wants space, let her have it. Stop initiating contact. In order for the relationship to resume she needs to realize she misses you.

 

Nobody likes to feel smothered. You say in your post that you spent vast amounts of time together so it may have been too much. Who knows.

 

In the meantime you can continue living your life without her and if you meet someone new you can go out with them. If I were you I wouldn't sit around waiting for her to change her mind. After all..."There are plenty of fish in the sea...." And there are consequences for telling people to back off.

[cookies]

well if u love her,..yes give her space. But my concern is that she was acting well for the duration of the trip and on the last leg,...she started distancing herself and said "i need my space"... Did something happen for her to change like this? We can sumtimes contribute to our partners behaviour without even knowing it sumtimes, or even intantly turn them off...and they just lose interest...

 

While u give her space, try to keep in contact by just calling less than before, but show concern for her as u always have. YOu can judge by her behaviour and how shes reacting to ur phone calls, to try to pick out a "good" day to talk things thru, but before hand have some quiet time to urself and meditate on how u treated her, and if any at all, what contributions u may have had in her decision for space...

 

sometimes we just gotta step back and rethink our paths...in order figure out where we lost ourselves or the relationship got off track. Then go forward from there...

 

cookies

[hnicbj]

thanks everyone for the replies,

cookies, i failed to mention that we didnt make our relationship physical until the trip..maybe that had something to do with it

 

but im confused because she is the one who opened up so fast to me and she was "smothering" me (although i had no problem with that), and than overnite she changed her mind about our relationship, it wasnt a gradual thing

 

the only time we talked about our relationshhip since the trip, she said "be patient with me, and if you dont feeling like being patient and sticcking around, i wont force you to", whats that supposed to mean?

 

but i have been maintaining light contact with her, mostly thru emails..she came down to our campus to visit some people a couple weeks ago and we only hung out for 2 hours

 

HNICBJ