uh.. a little confused...

[LoveXHate]

well..im 13 years old..and im a guy..well im gay..and i thought i would never tell anyone..turns out i did..and now..basically the whole 7th grade knows..there are homophobes at are school.. using "hoe" or "gay kid" as insults..im just confused..why is there gays? why am i gay?..why do i like a guy when they can't like me back because they are strait..i mean i know why they can't like me back..i just i dont know.. i think is not fare to be gay sometimes..I'm the only gay guy that i know of at our school..and it's not fair that i have to wait on getting a boyfriend when straits don't have to wait...And sometimes im scared that i will goto hell because im gay...like people going up to me and saying gays go to hell..i just dont know what to do..

[melrich]

You won't go to hell for being gay.

 

You are at a really difficult age, particularly if you are really sure about your sexuality and now the fact that you have told others. Unfortunately most of your peers at that age simply do not have the maturity to just accept your sexuality and there probably is not much you can do or say right now that will make things too much easier for you.

 

Maybe you have a school counsellor who can help you, I think the probelm you have is as much about educating your classmates as much as anything else.

 

In terms of getting a date, yes again I think you will struggle for a few years. Not many kids your age are going to be so convinced of their sexuality if they are gay and because gays are a minority, the pool of individuals that are available to you to date is going to be smaller anyway.

 

All I can really say to you is that as you get older I think things should become easier for you. Right5 now just be proud of who you are and try to remember that the people that are giving you a hard time are doing so because they do not have the maturity to understand what you are about.

[mysterious one]

hey there,

my advice to you is don't mind what other people say to you. I (i'm straight) have a few friends who are gay. to me it doesn't matter what the person's sexual preferance is but who they really are. one of my friend came out with being bi last year. it got around school and i've heard kids saying all these bad things about him that i know aren't true. anyways there are always going to be people who don't aprove of being gay and think that people choose to be gay. the only thing you can do is be yourself and if people are mean to you that's their problem cuz in most cases they loose out on knowing a great person.

one of my favorite quotes "be as flexable as the wind but stand for who you are"

those kids will grow up eventually and realize that they were wrong ( a good song with lyrics that would go with this is Standing out in a croud byTrisha Yearwood)

anyways enough of my rambling

don;t be afraid to be yourself, it just shows how much stronger you really are.

[babycristy456]

That is super cruel of people doing that to you. You will not go to hell for being gay. Are you in a private school? If you are, that is probably the reason why you have not met many gay people out there. Do not feel bad about who you are. Accept yourself and let everyone deal with their insecurities.

 

Keep in mind one thing...You are in 7th grade. Everyone that age is mean. There are probably other guys in your school who might be gay but are not ready to admit it. That makes you a strong person and I admire you for knowing yourself so well at such a young age.

 

As you go into highschool and college, the teasing will slow down. You got to keep in mind that these kids who tell you mean things might have been taught that homosexuals are bad. Henceforth they repeat these bad habits with you.

 

You will find love, do not worry. Love yourself for who you are. Don't let anyone get you down. I know many gay guys that are very happy and some have fallen in love and broken up with their boyfriends and had more relationships. Just like straight people.

 

Do you think you can talk to a close friend about this? Or maybe a brother or sister that is close to you? They might help you understand this and go through this hard time.

 

Good luck!

[LoveXHate]

thanks a lot everyone..and im in public school..

[Jessica45]

At this age, it is hard for everyone, not just for you. You should keep your head held high and be proud of who you are. In my personal experience, gay guys are really great people, they are wonderful people, who have helped me in my life. Just bear with theses other classmates of yours, soon they will grow out of their immaturity.

[Jinx]

Well, you know this reminds me of a thought I had earlier - When I've been faced by Christians and others swearing I will go to hell for one reason or another, then I realized, can you really go to hell if its not in your belief range? I don't believe so. If you're in another religion, they have their own set standards. If you're Agnostic or Atheist, I do believe, in that belief, you just die. The end. So your death is based on your beliefs, not theirs. Anywho, religious freedom is the key. I have to remind people Christianity may be the majority religion, but shouldn't be America's form of religious dictatorship (example being those which believe Christianity is the only religion which should exist and everyone should follow its beliefs or else they burn in hell).

 

If you're Christian that may pose a problem, but then again, my best male friend is gay but a devoted Christian outside of the gay issue, so it is possible to co exist even in that sense.

 

Furthermore, I don't recall anyone ever coming out until the later years of High School. A lot of people write off their feelings as hormones too, I did. It took me years just to finally realize and assure myself that I was indeed a Lesbian. You'll find in years to come people will gradually come out, certain locales more than others depending on the level of acceptance. Here, I'm at the College level and out Lesbians are few and far between, yet, there are probably several closeted ones out and about but due to the unwelcoming atmosphere of homophobia and harassment they choose not to.

 

I believe that if you truly know you're gay, stick to your guns. Often though, in that age group there is a good deal of immaturity and a majority of "Because my parents and the bible said so" logic thereforeeee more discrimination possibilities I suppose. Eventually, it will die down. People at that age seek something entertaining, eventually someone else will come out or some major event will happen and everything will fall into place with hopefully few other homophobic problems occurring.

[RandomAdvisor]

Yeah, you don't have to worry about going to hell. You wont.

 

Kids your age can be so cruel. And unfortunately homophobia is rampant in our culture. In case you've never heard it before, let me clue you in on something. Homophobes hate gays because they're afraid they might be gay themselves. It's a psychological defense mecnanism. They lash out at gays to make themselves feel more secure in their sexuality. It's unfortunate the person you confided in let your secret slip, but that's typical of teens your age, and people in general for that matter.

 

Yes, you probably will struggle with finding a partner at your age. I don't think very many people are sure of their sexuality at that age. That's where much of the homophobia comes from. How do the guys who tease you know if they're not gay too? If they've never been with a woman before: they don't.

 

Try to keep your chin up and ignore the harassment. Hopefully it will go away. But if it doesn't and gets severe, you should speak to someone in your school like a guidance counselor.

[UT]

Being out at 13 is very, very brave of you and I admire you for your courage. But being out at that age is also very hard especially at that age. Like the others said, you won't go to hell for being gay.

 

Why is there gays?

 

Well, why are there straight people? Why are there illnesses? Why do we fall in love? These are all questions we can't be really be sure of the answer to. But we can still try to answer them. Gay and straight are just a normal as being straight. We were only taught not to think that because of how we have been brought up. All the norms everything was made up by humans that as well as our definition of right and wrong.

 

Why am I gay?

 

I've asked myself that question many, many times before too but with out finding a good answer. We don't choose who we are. We just have to learn to live with it. Accept ourselves and be proud of what we are. We have to try to see the positive things in our situations and not only concentrate on the negative things. You are gay because that's you. It's a part of you as a whole person.

 

 

You are probably not the only gay person at your school you are just the only one who is out. Being out at such a young age is incredibly brave. You will probably not be able to find a lot of out gay people your own age but if you wait a few years they'll show. I understand your frustration and a lot of us around here have experienced it or are experiencing it including me. I suggest that you contact the student's councillor and talk to him/her about your situation. (S)he can give you advice and help you. (S)he can give you information or just talk if that's what you need. I can also try and give you a few links that might help.

 

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And there is another forum with gay people. Some of them are pretty young, about your age.

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If you have any questions to me or about the links you're very welcome to PM or just ask me in a topic.

[FoxLocke]

Oh my god, I remember 7th grade. To make a long story short it was a living hell.

Even before I knew I was gay(very much in denial then)the other guys called me, "Gay(as an insult)" "Sissy" and "Punk," I was called punk A__ so much that I thought it was my real name for a moment)"

Kids that age are very immature, and are only echoing what their peers and parents indocterinate in them. I wish I could tell you it was going to get easier, but it probably won't until you get out of highschool...

 

However, nowadays there are so many outlets for self expression. I think it is good that you came online to talk about it...because there are so many people here that can help you.

 

Just keep your head up, because things are going to get better. I wish I had someone to tell me that when I was 13.