Attracting the right kind.

[Dismember_05]

Hey guys, 1st post. got a question thats been bothering me for abit and noone i could really ask, so thought id give a forum a go. Basically im into alot of metal music, and dress black, spiked belt etc. and have no problem finding someone to spend the night with, but where does a guy like me find someone whos actually into a serious relationship? I mean any girl who's not a metalhead sorta just looks at me funny and have a hard time holding a conversation. and none of the girls i meet at concerts and that are into that sorta thing. so am i supposed to compromise who i am and pretend im different around other people? cause this is the only solution i can think of as the girls who seem more inclined to a serious relationship aren't interested in guys like me.

[brahman]

i personally believe that you need to keep on looking for girls whi match you. i know its hard, but you should realize that most people your age who have some what of a party life may not want a relationship.

 

 

i could be wrong though.

[Markers]

I've seen metal guys dating "normal" girls. I don't see why it wouldn't work for you, unless you carry this "agony in my name" -look in your face 24/7 which might be a turn off.

 

I agree with brahman as well.

[Dismember_05]

so basically just keep looking and dont worry. give it a try. and no markers I do actually smile lol.

[Jdoccan]

Dismember_05

 

An opinion from one who's been there. Of course, you have to make the choices for you. I won't try to tell anyone how to live their life.

 

If I were you, I wouldn't change who I was unless it was right for you. If you change hoping to please someone else, you will end up with someone that thinks you are different than who you really are. From what I've seen, that doesn't work, and neither one of you will be happy in the long run. The person you want will like you as you are. Then, you may find yourself compromising a bit for her because you care about her.

 

Way back when, I was in a situation similar to yours. I play bass and cut my teeth on Black Sabbath - that wasn't very popular back then, but I was being me. 30 years later, I still crank up the NAD, strap on the Gibson, heat up the tubes in the Sunn, and put some life into the neighborhood. No regrets either.

 

Understand that I did have to compromise my lifestyle to get where I wanted to be. However, since I chose to do this, and it actually turned out good for me, I didn't see it as a compromise. It was just one of those necessary moves to get me where I wanted to be.

 

Oh, yes, when a woman looks at you funny, genuinely smile at her. It speaks volumes. If nothing else, maybe she will wonder if she stop judging others by appearance. Finally, if you don't know what to talk about when you do run into a woman, talk about them and try to understand where they are coming from. Be sincere and honest too.

 

I'm paraphrasing a quote here: Individuality should not be compromised for popularity. Can someone help me out with the source and accurate quote?

 

Good luck and ejoy the music.

[Markers]

so basically just keep looking and dont worry. give it a try. and no markers I do actually smile lol.

 

yeah, just keep looking, you're only 16. You have plenty of time..

[Anti]

I have to say I disagree with most fo you here.

 

Personally I do not see anything wrong with changing yourself as long as the change is voluntary, you want to make that change, and you consider it a change for the better. As long as you do not compromise yourself to a large extent then there is nothing wrong with a change for the better. If you see a different life style as being good, and better than your current one then by all means change.

[Dismember_05]

Jdoccan, thnx heaps man. really halps to get a perspective of someone who has been through similar situations, as well as outside opinions. I think like you, im gonna have to change some things as its no fun going through teenage yrs never really loving any girl you've been with.

 

Black Sabbath ey, love their stuff. cant get enough of 'Paranoid' and 'heaven & hell', you into any of the swedish Death bands like entombed and dismemer or florida- monstrosity, deicide etc?

[Amano Ginji]

talking about blacksabath!!!! Ozzy's my man.!!!!!

ok to the point...i have a couple of frnds whu r into metal..but seriously its not like they havent been in serious relationships..y r u different from any other person?? just because ur into all that harsh music...it only makes u more interesting for girls!!thats wat i feel..besides u really dont need to make changes just because u want to get girls whu want a serious relation ship..i guess u shld do what appeals to u and not make a change to get smthing!..hope that made sense and if u do make a change..make sure it stays..else u ill end up making changes in urself for other people(mostly girls)

There is smone for everyone dude...ur only 16..u got a long way to go.!!!

Be urself!..thats all i can say!!

hope this helped

ne ways have fun and good luck