looking

[kirsty]

Hello,

 

I wonder if anyone has any thoughts on my problem.

 

I will make it very brief! I have been hurt badly in the past and now have been with my current bloke for year and half.

 

Howevere I always think he is eyeing up other girls, I see him looking and it hurts me very much as I compare my self to them and feel total lack of respect from him. If I confront him then he says hes not looking in that way and we row. It only seems to be the skinny pretty girls he looks at but again he says its in my mind.

 

Any ideas please?

[cookies]

Is probably not ur mind, ...but he may not be looking at them with the same thoughts that may be goin on thru ur mind. There are alot of beautiful women around our men, and we have got to learn NOt to compare ourselves to them...because there will always be someone that catches his eye...but hes with the one woman he loves.

 

Sometimes its good for us to withhold making statements that make us seem "jealous" or "insecure" about ourselves, by questioning weather or not hes cheking out another chik. OF course, if u noticed a beautyful woman, ur man did. Better he chek out women than men. start havin more confidence in urself, by changing up the way u think or react to other women in his presense.

 

I find it easier and a whole lot more relaxing to discuss other women with my man than being uptight/... compliment her dress, or shape...but its just not appealing for a woman to be uptight & jealous of another who is e obviously fyne and got it going on. Joke with him about his attraction to other women when u catch him watching, versus giving him a hard time...because altho men sumtimes cant control thinking with their other head,...u can control what he does with it...if he gets hott...keep his desire in u , at a maximum. Even if he lusts after another woman,..use it ur advantage in ur bedroom and make sure he gives it all to u...

 

cookies

[SwingFox]

Nice words, cookies... GREAT reply. I loved it!

 

My addition would be to talk to your guy. Could it be possible that you're somewhat feeling insecure. If you are, the guy that you are with could help you with reassuring you at times. It has worked for me and a woman that I have been with. She felt somewhat insecure and I always reassured her and gave her compliments.

 

I hope you'll have a bright future with the young man you are with now and I wish you good luck

 

~ SwingFox ~

[kirsty]

the was good advice, wish it was so easily said as done, i manage fine at times but then at others i just completely blow up, its lilke an anger and hurt inside me that boils and i cant help but say something (or a lot of things). Its not nice but neither is feeling so hurt by it.

 

Thanks again tho x

[cookies]

You are right its not nice to react this way, because your jealousy is stemmed from being insecure in the relationship and about urself. The hurt is a result that you bring on urself, because of ur reaction.

 

Jealousy, from what i read sumwhere recently, is like walking up a steep slippery hill, and the more u try to walk up it the more u find urself spirraling downhill quickly. If we dont get a grip on our jealousy, we cause more damage in our relationships that unrepairable, and it will make him wish he was elsewhere.

 

Some women actually contribute to pushing their men into the arms of a woman that knows how to nurture him, and arent jealous, and altho he may continue to look at other women,...he will be happy with her and not wanting to leave, because not many women are secure enough about themselves that his looking doesnt bother them...

 

it can be easily done, as soon as you try., and lets just hope that its not too late with damage in ur relationship. I wish u the best, and good luck with handling your jealousy and anger...

 

 

 

cookies