How do you find love after being in love for 5 years?

[Sensitive]

In a relationship for 5 years...she broke up with me, we were so in love, i guess i loved her more than she loved me.

 

How do i find a girl that i connect with, its seems so hard, i obviously compare in some to my ex but i also ensure that i accept them for who they are. But its been 1 year since we broke up and i havn't found any one that can even compare to the girl i loved.

 

I try not too compare but there are certain looks and personality i look for and hav't found that yet

 

 

Can anyone help me

[doblersdream]

Hi Sensitive

 

I understand and empathise with how you feel. The thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that someday i'm sure to meet someone else who captivates me. Who knows how long it may take, but what other option do we have but to soldier on with an open heart and open mind?

[sayer7]

I think it's ok to look for certain qualities that you like (personality, physical, etc) but don't try to find your ex-girlfriend in these qualities, or expect to see your ex-girlfriend when you come accross these same qualities in another person.

 

I guess the best advice I could give would be to try to see the uniqueness as well as the similarities of the girls you meet. You may be attracted to them because of a particular quality that you liked in your ex, but also try to find a different quality that is nice that your ex didn't pocess. For instance... maybe your ex had a certain kind of sense of humor that you particularly liked. So You meet and are attracted to a new woman who also has this kind of sense of humor, but then you also find that this new woman has the most gorgeous colored eyes that your ex didn't have.

 

This way, you are attracted to a quality you already are familiar with, but then you're also attracted to a quality that you haven't encountered before and you recognize this unique and positive difference between the new woman and your ex.

 

Make sense? Hope this helps....

[cookies]

Its always tough finding sumone to match or surpass the standards we have grown accustom to for this length of time. When ur with sumone that fits every description ofwhat u want in a woman, its that much tougher to let go of her "perfection". This is when u find urself constantly comparing everyone to her, because u were in such a comfort zone with her, that you cant let go.

 

ONce you decide that you are ready to open ur heart to love again, you will be able to let go of ur past relationship. Regardless of how much it hurts. It can take months or years, but even to this day i find it hard to let go of something that isnt mine,...because i too constantly find myself comparing... maybe its the idea that they are "the best" in our minds and we would rather be alone than stepping forward to try again...

 

we have got to somehow learn how to convince our minds that there is someone that is a BETTER equation to what we need, versus what we dont have but want. Letting go is plain and simple,...hard...

 

cookies

[bzborow1]

Cookies is right.

 

It just takes time to get over the feeling of a comfort zone, as well as the rejection of someone we thought was perfect. There's nothing anyone can tell you to get her out of your mind. For some people it takes weeks, and for others months and even years.

 

But the problem you are having is not just related to getting over another woman, it is related to dating in general. Many people go through dating not finding someone they "click" with. Trust me, one of these days you'll find someone you like so much (and click with) that will make you think only of her.

 

As a side note, how do you know if someone if perfect for you if you keep comparing them to someone who cleary was not? It may turn out that the perfect version of a woman for you is completely different then that of your ex.

 

That's my two cents.