winner or loser

[khujo56]

Hi Guys

 

Question for you, ok this girl approach me and we dated for like a month, but she wanted to be friends in the end..too soo for her i guess. now have you ever felt like you are the loser in a situation like that where she ends it or would you feel like the winner for her approaching you. it's not a competition but i feel like i'm the loser. just a question

[in_the_mirror]

well i don't know that i would call it either, i mean yea it feels kinda crappy to be dumped kinda, but she approached you, its a good day when a girl approaches you, i mean cuz a lot of girls wait for it to happen the other way around cuz you know were pretty difficult like that. it means your not an intimidating guy and you are pretty approachable and that is pretty awesome.

[Serendipity1607307077]

I guess it's a bit of both - it's a good thing that she told you that she's not ready - but this doesn't mean that's she's going to necessarily end it altogether.. when she is ready she may come back to you..

 

Sometimes people just aren't ready for big commitments straight away... they need to decide if it's the right move...

 

I don't think you're a loser, and you shouldn't think that way either. You should just be happy that she was open with you and told you the truth...

[DiscipleOfChange]

hey dude,

 

I'd be stoked that a lay approached me. It certainly isn't something to shrug off as meaningless. sure, you could think of it as a loss but you could also look at it as a learning experience. And you've picked up a friend along the way.

[smallworld]

Neither. You're Khujo56. It's taken me a long time to learn this lesson, but often times that which seems like a bad thing can actually be a blessing in disguise. Seriously I know you're hurting now, but relationships aren't about winning or losing. They're about finding someone who likes us as we are, shares our interests, and with whom we're emotionally, intellectually, sexually, and spiritually compatible. So when things don't work out, rather than feel "less than", it's kinder to oneself and more honest to see the breakup as a matter of incompatibility. At some level you both weren't meeting each other's needs and this is why you've parted.

 

It's up to you as to how you choose to see this latest chapter of your life. But perhaps this story will help... Parable: The Old Man of the Great Wall Lost His Horse [continue story by clicking "Page Down"]

link removed