Tips for Talking to Shy Guys (Breaking the Ice)

[1st_kyu_kendoka]

There are some things that certain shy people don't like, one thing I have always hated is when someone tries to talk to me for the first time and opens with a question. I just like to have an opportunity to react to a simple hello so that the person knows whether or not I am in good mood. I really hate drawing attention to my self and when I answer a question in a way they don't like or just ignore them a crowd starts to form.

 

If anyone disagrees with me or has another tip, please post. This supposed help people break the ice with shy people, and any other tips to help people would help it in that effort.

[DN]

If you can come up with another way to start a conversation without asking a question - I for one would like to hear it.

 

The best way to deal with a question you don't want to answer is to say something non-committal and/or turn it around. i.e.

 

"Did you like the Star Wars movie?'

 

"Some of them - what was your favourite?" and then you can get into a conversation.

[1st_kyu_kendoka]

What I mean is I do not like it when someone starts with a question not just hi or hello. After you have responded to their first hello then questions and conversation starters should work pretty well.

[Aueft]

"How much does a polar bear weigh?"

 

"I don't know"

 

"Well whatever it is, it's enough to break the ice"

 

Or

 

 

"Hi"

[easyguy]

Take notice of your surroundings... where you are. Talk about that first.

 

A simple, "Hey, how's it going?" works, too. Avoid pick up lines, because if you use them, she'll think you're desperately trying to pick up chicks. If you can't have the confidence to be yourself from the first time talking to her, then what will that say about future encounters?

 

Just be yourself, man.

[rionmccloud]

but Hey how's it going? Is a question. Not what's being sought here. lol

 

Honestly, you have to start off with a question. Maybe if you just walk up to someone and say "I hate George Bush" it could work, but it'd be awful strange.

[1st_kyu_kendoka]

First off, yes I just would like a hello with nothing after it.

 

Second off, i am a concervitive so back off and keep poilitics out of these forums.

[volution]

I've been on two communication courses with my company - for both of them they talked about different styles of talking - that how you say something is far more important than what you say...

Especially if talking on the phone or to somebody who appears to be highly-strung or volatile.

 

There are two forms of questions - OPEN and CLOSED.

Closed questions are those that seek a fixed and usually short answer, like "Is it blue?" (YES/NO), "Where do you live?", "Would you like to go to dinner with me?"

They are called closed, because it is much harder to follow them up.

Open questions are those that elicit a much broader range of responses, like "What did you do last night?", "What's you favourite music?", "How have you been?".

 

The trick is to try and use Open questions, as they tend to make the person feel that you're intelligent and more interested in what they have to say. Closed questions can sometimes make someone apprehensive (Eg: "Do you have a boyfriend?"), because they tend to sound abrupt and invasive and they ask for a definite answer.

Whereas an Open question like "What kinds of things do you like to do at the weekend?" is much more easier and comfortable for someone to answer.

The information that someone can give you in their answers to Open questions can give you a starting point to expand the conversation...