what should i do

[Imisshersomuch]

Hey how are yall doing? Me im doing not soo good.. Im writing here because i know im a girl and im gay and all and most of people dont accept it but the real reason here is because im missing my ex horribly.. I just dont know what to do anymore.. i mean we been broken up for over a year now and im really missing her.. i been upset and depressed ever since.. i mean i have tried dating and all but it just doesnt seem right to me.. It's just not her and i would love to have it be her... i really need her back . my life is incomplete without her in my life.. she is everything to me.. i mean we were together almost 2 years and them 2 years of my life was like heaven to me.. i was soo happy... but at the end we was fighting all the time call each other bad names and stuff.. i know i wasnt the perfect girlfriend i done big mistakes and i regret them... and yea she did cheat on me but i took her back and all because i forgive her and i really do love her with all my heart... I just want her back into my life... So the past year i been trying to avoid that she was gone by dating our girls i mean im not gonna lie i was lil happy dating our people but everytime i was with that person i would always think of her.. and she did come back and forth in my life by coming over my friends house and some how we would meet up somewhere unexpecting... the whole time she would tell me she loves me and i was her everything and she misses me and all the whole nine but the next she would im me and be like im sorry i lead you on and she been messing with my head and heart and im like so hurt by it but i just cant get to the point to let her go.. i have tried.. but i love her so much its unbelievable... i just cant stop thinking about her. shes on my mind 24/7 shes even in my dreams... i just cant get her off my mind.. and i would do ANYTHING just to get her back.. i have tried alot but i mean she called me and said she wanted to be friends and she loves me more now cause im here for her and we get along soo well now.. but i love that fact she still wants to be in my life as my friend but i want her back sooo bad... and past couple weeks me and my friend was talking cause hes in the same sitution and he was telling me to be invisible and let her come back to me.. and i been doing that but ist killing me cause i cant get any contact with her and i just want her to come back so what do you guys think i should do???

[2cute2bstressed]

wow im so sorry your hurting so bad .,your post makes me feel so sad i really wish i had some sound prood advice but im going thru the same thing and the best advice i can give is to just wait it out it does get better

[Mstyiyd]

Hey there, I read your post and even though I'm a little older than you, I can relate, being a gay female. I personally believe that relationships are relationships, regardless of the gender thing. Both gay and straight relationships have the same ups and downs; it really depends on the two people, their emotional/maturity levels, their personal prior life experiences, etc.

Not to sound cliche, or to diminish the pain you are feeling, but you ARE young and have a lifetime of experiences awaiting you! I am sure you love your ex g/f. One of the most impt things you can do is realize that no matter what, ultimately YOU make your own happiness. By learning from your mistakes, and you will make them throughout life, will serve as your greatest weapon of defense. Alot of people tend to blame the other person or justify as to why breakups occur or why they did what they did or didn't do, etc. What you can do right now is work on yourself. Are you in high school or college? Are you making any goals or plans for yourself in that area? What about employment? What kinds of people do you associate with? Do you have friends or family members that you have a trust level/loyalty with that can help you? Most people can find at least one person to trust help them with something like this. As alot of people suggest, try to find a hobby or activity you like. Keep busy. Allow yourself to cry, but keep the focus on moving forward.

Life is very funny, you never know if she may come back into your life somehow. But if and when she does, the best way you can be is to have worked on yourself FOR YOU so you have developed some of your own confidence. Not an ego. Just trying to do the best you can. And if it does not work out with this girl, TRUST ME there are plenty of other bright, capable women out there. And be careful about drug or alcohol usage.....not saying you are involved in that but don't use stuff like that to try and deal or not deal with this. I am familiar w/South Jersey, and there is lots to do around there. There are gay communities and resources if you do a little investigating.

Hope this helps. Good luck to you, I have been in this position and it is very hard but you will make it, as long as you work on yourself and surround yourself the best you can with healthy people. There's alot of manipulative, insane people out there but just as many good ones, too.