Not bipolar, but is it just normal?

[DiscipleOfChange]

You what really eats me? I've certainly made a lot of progress this semester so far and I acknoledge that. I find though that some days are really good days, but then I seem to come down off the high of that good day or night and then int's like a crash.

This morning for example, I was okay. All in all last night went well. This afternoon though, I find myself inside the dorm, I venture outside to see if I might be able to meet some new people but I don't stay out for long. And the craziest thing is things objectively are probably going my way, more than ever. Somedays though I think of myself as a figure in Edward Hopper's "Nighthawks" except I'm not in the cafe, I'm accross the street looking in.

Of course, in a day or so, possibly less, I'll be fine, there will something that will make me smile and laugh. The truth is I don't have a crowd or a crew that I run with. Maybe this is just what I do. For years and years, I've gotten accustomed to being by myself and whenever I feel threatened by going out there and being with a lot of people, I retreat for a little while back into the comfort of solitude.

 

I don't have any disorder. I know this because I saw a psychologist over the summer and he would have told me if I had something. But I guess my question is, if I don't have anything wrong with me, is what I'm dealing with normal?

[NewPhillyGuy]

Hey,

 

I'm sorry that you are not feeilng well. Maybe you are just depressed? I'm obviously not the person to be saying what you have or don't have. You said that you saw a psychologist and he thought nothing was wrong with you. Keep in mind that there's really no definitve test to determine if one has a particular mental disorder. The diagnosis is really a result of what you tell the person during your sessions. Of course, there are certain things that a trained eye will notice. However, if you go in there and say everything is fine, the doctor has nothing to go on. I'm not saying that's what you did. I'm just letting you know that's really how it happens.

 

It's obvious that you know in your heart that something is not right. Did you convey that clearly to the psychologist when you spoke to him? Do you think maybe you didn't reveal specific details because you were afraid of what he might say? Do you think maybe you didn't want him to tell you have this or that because you didn't want to face it?

 

If you do notice that something is wrong, try doing some reading. The internet is a great place to start for some research on the different mood disorders. Of course, this is only for informational purposes only. Don't try to diagnose yourself. Maybe after some reading, you will learn some more about how you feel. Try scheduling another appointment with the psychologist, and tell me very clearly how you feel in certain situations. Tell him also how your emotions change over the course of the day.

 

One important thing: Do not allow the doctor to put words into your mouth. Make it very clear how exactly you feel so the person knows. Also, finding the right doctor may take time. You want to find someone you are comfortable working with. Try one and if it doesn't work, try another.

 

Personally, I have been going through treatment for OCD, some depression, and a panic disorder for a number of years. It all started when I was in college, and I graduated a year ago. I have had some really bad, but some really great people working with me. Give it another go and see what happens.

 

Lastly, have faith and confidence in yourself. If it turns out that you do have a mood disorder, that does NOT mean anything is wrong with you or that you are not normal. Many people have mood disorders, and thanks to some great research, many of these conditions can be successfully dealt with if you give it the time and attention it deserves.

 

Best of luck to you. Keep posting. You can PM if you would like. I would be happy to talk to you.

[anonymous_presence]

Yeah, it's completely normal to have emotional highs that are followed by lows. I'm like that all the time, though I'm not exactly the normality one would aspire for. I frequently have moments when I'm hyper and manic which only seconds later are tagged by fatigued depression.

 

As for the solitude vs. social life issue, it's only natural for people to find comfort in what they're accustomed to. If your past is one marked by solitude, then you can't expect yourself to suddenly change into someone who parties everynight. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as you're content with your social life.

 

Don't underestimate the value of the progress you've made thus far. Keep it up!

[DiscipleOfChange]

I suppose the key thing is that I'm dealing with my issues but still have work to do. I may very well schedule a meeting with the psyc services on campus, just to talk about stuff. I suppose the thing is that I wish I could snap my fingers and have it all, a circle of friends, someone to hold etc. I just some days have a tough time warming up to the fact that it will take time, maybe even a long time and a lot of work.

 

~Mark

[metallicachica247]

i... even at my age... actually went through some major moodswings as well. all i did was talk to my psychyatrist and switched medications and i am actually back to leveled moods. its very normal according to my psychyatrist and all teens go through it at one point... maybe you should talk to someone it this keeps going.