Is it wrong to pursue a girl who has a boyfriend already?

[mordero]

There is this girl I work with and we have been flirting back and forth for months now (its obvious to everyone i think) and I am considering making a move, but not sure I should b/c she is already in a relationship. But the way she acts makes me think I should:

 

-comes in and sees me at work on her days off

 

-complains about her bf being too protective and talking about how she doesn't think it will last

 

-started to call me her "best friend" although we seem to use that a lot to make certain hidden comments at work

 

but sometimes i am not sure she is interested or if she doesn't realize I am not joking around with how i act with her.....and the fact she is 18 and I am 24 but with the older guy/younger girl thing i don't think that would be a problem.

 

Any thoughts or suggestions would be of great help!

[segagirl]

Well to any girl I would say dont you dare steal away that man.....so I think its only fair to say its not nice to move in on someone who is taken. Now sure you can flirt, but I would assume you would want the kind of girl who is secure enough in herself to leave a guy before getting with another. It may also be she does think of you as a friend, hence the complaining and visits. I would say, its not the right time.

[reinvented21]

Hello Mordero,

 

I think that you made the right decision asking advice on this matter. There are alot of guys who would just go for it w/out even second guessing their decision. I'm going to throw a few things out there for you to think about. First , how would you feel if someone was trying to steel youre girlfriend(if you had one). I"m sure you wouldnt feel good about it. I know i wouldnt. Just read some of the articles from heartroken people on here. Its not fun. Second, lets say that you did pursue a relationship with her. Who's to say that she wouldnt turn around and do the same thing to you. I suggest that you "wait" and see if this girl, who lacks confidence in her relationship, finally breaks it off with her man. Once she does, i would still give her ample amount of time, longer amounts depending on how long she was dating her boyfriend. If she doesnt break off the relationship with her boyfriend then I would just leave her alone and find someone who is single

[mordero]

reinvented21:

 

but doesn't this go along the lines of I am not stealing anything that doesn't want to be stolen? And I agree with the hurt it would cause the other guy but at times I can almost justify to myself. I really like this girl and there isn't a good way to try and block her out of my mind when I see her at work and she is so touching and flirty. Even if i vowed to not pursue it....sometimes i think she may anyways.

 

why does the one ya want have to be the one thats taken?

[cruisin]

mordero,

 

Sometimes the one you want is the one who's taken because the taken one is the one you want. And the taken one may be playing the same game. Be careful here. Listen to the very good advice posted already. One, it's easy for her to play with you, flirt and come onto you because she feels "safe." You know it's a game. She's taken. That may be her way of looking at it. Some people like wanting what they can't have. When they get it they very often don't want it anymore.

 

If she is not happy with her boyfriend she's free to leave him. If she isn't leaving him something's not right, with her or your perception of what she sees you as. Leaving him should have nothing to do with you and her. It should have to do with her and him!

 

Don't just be someone's excuse.

[ashley_n_pat_gone_4good]

hey there!

im not gunna try n sound ignorant but dude...back off. shes taken...be the best of friends with her..how would u feel if someone at yur gf'z work was messing wit her like that?? it could also mean unnessecary problems for u...just be careful!!