newcomer

[sarsapolis6]

how do most of you deal or interact with newcomers to the group or clique? Let's be honest, everyone!

Especially if the newcomer is from a different race or different part of town or hasn't grown up with you like your other friends have. What usually happens/doesn't happen?

 

 

What does the newcomer have to prove in most cases? How are some people ultra-successful at "fitting in" with a variety of groups, and remaining as a strong fixture in those social groups? Example: A guy who lives by himself, likes to enjoy things by himself but his personality (or something) allows people to actually invite him to social events, like a play or an outdoor music festival. Another person might not receive the same kind of generosity that he gets.

[Blue Skittles]

I grew up having just a small group of friends. We lived in a small town and all, so every so often there were newcomers, we would welcome them into the group and invite them to hang out and stuff. Its all up to the newcomer from there, they have to accept invitations and make themselves a part of it.

 

Then i moved to the city. So i was always the newcomer. Its just you have to talk to people and if you get a good vibe and people invite you out to do things, its all about accepting invitations again, like for me i noticed with some groups they would invite me out and i kept saying no cuz i was busy, or wasn't that interested in going to bars so i never became a part of the "group".

 

All I know is of newcomers at work, some of them are really social and friendly so they are 'accepted' more quickly> There is this one new girl at work and she is so quiet and shy and never says so much as "hi" to anyone and just keeps to herself so she kind of comes accross as snobby. I'm pretty friendly so I still tried to talk to her but she just didn't talk much at all so people like that its hard to be friends with.

[MetallicAguy]

I react like "Cool, new person" but yeah I'm a people person and when you ask people this obviously comments will vary.

 

Basically if they don't say anything stupid, make a really bad joke, not try to be cool, then they're alright.

 

I try to get to know the person a little bit, usually ask what sports, music they're into. And just little questions. I'd say people would remain strongly "connected" with people in groups due to something they all have in common. Like if all of them play football on the same team that'll usually leave you with a good friendship, it also helps if your good at making people laugh and your not a boring person.

 

 

How are some people ultra-successful at "fitting in" with a variety of groups, and remaining as a strong fixture in those social groups?

I'd say I'm like this with nearly all social groups, basically I'm laid-back I make people laugh a lot, I'm comfortable with myself and a good listener, and am not superficial. That's what helps me so much.

[MetallicAguy]

But the general things you'd need to stay connected not really strongly would be laid-back, good listener, not superficial, funny (hilarious is better if you are, though it isn't NEEDED) and comfortable with yourself.