should i test him to see if he really wants to be with me???

[in_doubt]

had to delete this . sorry

[melrich]

Leave it as broken up. he doesn't sound like much of a person and he will probably only enjoy playing games with you and you will be the one who ends up hurt again.

[catfood]

I'm sorry for being so blunt, but could you please read what you just wrote and ask yourself if that doesn't sound nuts?

 

Girl, you've got to stand up for yourself and dump this loser. No, don't "test" him. Make it for real.

 

Even the fact that he thinks that he could cheat on you constantly and you wouldn't break up with him is enough reason. That and the mean words and everything else.

 

I suspect that you logged on, in part, to hear what you already know deep down. FORGET HIM!

 

 

[crookster_man]

Hmm I think the issue here goes much deeper then a "accidental" message or a test. For what you have told me this guy doesn't appear to be someone you really want to be with. However you seem to be settling for him, any reason?

 

What are you getting out of this relationship? You've painted a very negative picture about it. It sounds like you want out but you haven't realized it yet.

 

This whole "test" idea is crap by the way. Relationships can only work when the lines of communication are kept open. Playing games, going on breaks and anything else that cuts off the lines of sincere open communication run contrary to a successful and loving relationship. So if you believe it's important to do these things that should tell you something.

[in_doubt]

Yeh theres been times where i wish i was stronge enough to walk away but a part of me never lets me leave. I always end up running back to him, its become a really bad cycle.

 

a part of me doesnt want to let him go because i dont want to end up alone and i always think what if the next guy is worse then this one.

[ecg1228]

I was in a relationship like that once and I stayed with him for fear of being alone. Once I broke it off and got out of that silly trance I realized what damage he did to me and my self-esteem and how I really wasn't in love with him... There are SO many guys out there who are better for you. Relationships aren't easy, but you shouldn't have to be walking on eggshells and feeling degraded. That's not love and that's not companionship. I think that guy has a problem and he will just bring you down with him. Break it off with him - you will find someone so much better - as long as YOU know that you deserve a good man in your life who treats you with respect. If you have to, write a list of what a great boyfriend is. You will see how he doesn't fall in a lot of those categories. Maybe seeing it on paper will be an eyeopener.

[venus777]

oh my gosh, he sounds sooooooo similar to my most recent ex... he treated me soooooo bad and I got really used to it to. I created this other him (not really him) that was good and loved me, plus after he'd be mean he would apologize and so I thought that meant he would change and I felt even sorry for him at times.

 

but he was so mean. once i asked him for help and he just yelled at me about how i was trying to use him and that i should ask someone else. i was really sad. he never loved me and that's what i realize now... he just really wanted someone else to admire him, that's all, he wanted someone to walk in his shadow. that's what you are doing, walking in your bf's shadow. please, have some dignity and self-respect, dump this guy for real. he only causes pain! Have you ever heard that song by Lauryn Hill "When It Hurts So Bad"?

 

When it hurts so bad (when it hurts so bad)

When it hurts so bad (when it hurts so bad)

Why's it feel so good? (when it hurts so bad)

(when it hurts so bad)

I loved real real hard once

But the love wasn't returned

Found out the man I'd die for

He wasn't even concerned

I tried, and I tried, and I tried

to keep him in my life (to keep him in my life)

I cried, and I cried, and I cried

but I couldn't make it right

But I, I loved the young man

And if you ever been in love

then you'd understand

That what you want might make you cry

What you need might pass you by

If you don't catch it (if you don't catch it)

(if you don't catch it)

And what you need ironically

will turn out what you want to be

If you just let it (if you just let it)

If you just let it (if you just let it)

See, I thought this feeling

it was all that I had

But how could this be love

and make me feel so bad? (gave up my power)

Gave up my power

I existed for you

But who-ever knew

the voo-doo you'd do

But I, I loved the young man

And if you ever been in love

then you'd understand

What you want might make you cry

What you need might pass you by

If you don't catch it (if you don't, you don't)

(if you don't, you don't)

And what you need ironically

will turn out what you want to be

If you just let it (if you don't, you don't)

If you just let it (if you don't, you don't)

[zcloud]

Sounds like mr. ego thinks he's so fabulous that no one would break up with him. What a jerk.

[Stari]

Fail to recognise your own contribution to the state of your present relationship and chances are that you will repeat it all in future relationships.

[crookster_man]

Fail to recognise your own contribution to the state of your present relationship and chances are that you will repeat it all in future relationships.

 

truer words never said