Need to talk

[Jetta]

I've been really confused about my marriage (former marriage). I've been wondering if I should really try to work things out or move on. I mean moving on hasn't come very naturally. So that is really what has me wondering if it was the right decision.

 

Then I have the stuff where whenever I think of returning to him something bad happens. My car accident happened literally seconds after thinking about making it work. His recent job problem happened again after me wondering if I'm just giving up too easily. He was offered a position pending background check, which brought up domestic assult so now he's again jobless because he gave notice at the one he was at.

 

Okay so I know I need to move on, but then why are things progressing so slowly? It's very frustrating.

[Lil]

exactly, you know what you need to do...

been in such a situation..... totally time to move on.... whether you have a daughter or not, think about if your daughter was in that situation, what advise would you give her?

 

i'll tell ya, it's been a couple of years since my divorce, and it's still strange learning how to be a girlfriend after being a wife for so long

 

you deserve to be happy! AND SAFE! don't mistake temporary uncomfortableness for permanent , you will grow through this and feel good again

 

may the force be with you...

[darkblue]

I've been really confused about my marriage (former marriage). I've been wondering if I should really try to work things out or move on. I mean moving on hasn't come very naturally. So that is really what has me wondering if it was the right decision.

 

Then I have the stuff where whenever I think of returning to him something bad happens. My car accident happened literally seconds after thinking about making it work. His recent job problem happened again after me wondering if I'm just giving up too easily. He was offered a position pending background check, which brought up domestic assult so now he's again jobless because he gave notice at the one he was at.

 

Okay so I know I need to move on, but then why are things progressing so slowly? It's very frustrating.

 

Time is the healer - and your mind dictates to you when you're progressing.

 

There are some techniques that will help you:

 

First of all, you must realise that it wasn't your fault - his problems aren't your worries and don't concern yourself with his affairs.

 

You are now two separate people, living different lives.

 

Now: write out a list of things you dislike about him and things that he done that made you boil with rage - these were the things that made him not right for you.

 

If you believe in the five stages of grief, you must know them.

 

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

and finally, Acceptance.

 

Your mind will go through a mixture of confusion - but for your own sanity; realise he wasn't for you and it wasn't meant to be.

 

You now have your own life to live.

 

You've got that new car. And Congratulations on the job - sorry I'm a bit late.

 

Right, to summarize in an effective way :

 

Things are looking up. I have a job offer, a car, childcare figured out, and a new checking/savings account opened. Now I need to bring in a check and find a place to move to

 

In italics are the things to keep you going and in bold - your targets

 

Keep us updated and I wish you the best of luck with everything, Jetta.

 

(EDIT: This is the longest reply I've posted in some time - You must feel honoured )

[Jetta]

Thank you both.

 

Haha darkblue. Yes I do feel special. Very good points. So much change at once is paralyzing at times. I've had to really figure out what I needed to do first.

[darkblue]

Thank you both.

 

Haha darkblue. Yes I do feel special. Very good points. So much change at once is paralyzing at times. I've had to really figure out what I needed to do first.

 

Ah, Change - I dread it more than taxes.

 

But in the long-run change shapes who we are and who we become. Changing ourselves for the better can improve our chances of achieving happiness. (or at least happiness within ourselves).

 

This is all too insightful for 4.40am - You bring it out in me, Jetta

 

Take Care and Good Luck.