I need him in my life, please help

[skyler68]

My boyfriend just broke up with me after a year and a half. it was so sudden and unexpected. i never imagined he would break up with me.. anyways he told me that he wasnt happy in the relationship and it wasnt what he wanted at this point in his life. he told me that he wanted to be best friends and still do the same things we use to do but i canthave him as just a friend. i told him that it was meant to be and he said that if it is then it will happen because we will be best friends. i need him back right now.. i feel so lost and alone.. and hes out there having the time of his life.. please help me in finding a way to get him back

[enchantedfeather]

Hi,

I know how it feels to lose someone you have been with for a long time. I went out with my boyfriend for 2yrs and we just broke up over something as little as sex. I get very lonely, depressed and angry. and no it doesnt help that he seems to be having the time of his life. but you know what? he probably isnt. it is probably his way of dealing with it. As much as it hurts, you gotta let him go. I have to do the same thing, and I am finding that very difficult right now too.

What you have to do, is let him go, let him see what it is like to not have you around. He will begin to miss you and he will start to want you back. Most guys work that way. They kinda want "changes" and they need something different. By you staying his best friend, he still sees you all the time and it doesnt seem like anything has changed much, other than his commitment to you, but if you dont talk to him as much, and you just let him be alone for awhile.. he may realize how important you are to him. Remember, absense makes the heart grow fonder... if there is never any absense, how will he know how much you mean to him?

I dont know if I helped any, but this is my experience with a few men and they seem to work the same way. I feel like I'm totally painting all men with the same brush, but I havent really met any guys that are very different from eachother. lol.

Take Care and sorry if I didnt help much.

[skyler68]

Yes it did help.. i think i just needed someone to tell me that.. its so hard to get over someone that you love so much..we had made so many plans about our future.. geez it seemed like we were married... . i did so much for this guy and so did my family... its so weird.. like someone pointed a gun to his head and told him to break up with me.. the day before he did it, everything was going so good.. we hardly ever faught.. and then the next day he tells me that hes so messed up and wants time to think about things.. i dunno.. my mom thinks hes gay ha.. i asked him how his feelings could change so suddenly and he said they didnt...he said hes been thinking about it for awhile.. so i asked him if he was using me during that time and he said no.. does that make sense? he told me that he loves me still and would take a bullet for me.. i dunno everything is sooo messed up right now.. i just want him back in my life..

[enchantedfeather]

Well, I am glad that I helped you atleast a little. I know it is so hard and you just cant accept the reality that you arent together. It must be weird because you didnt see it coming. I did with my boyfriend so it wasnt as hard. I didnt expect we would brake up, but I knew we were going to fight. I dont really know how you can get him back other than giving him the space he needs. Hopefully by doing that, he will go back to you. If not, it wasnt meant to be. You will find someone worth your time and who will really take a bullet for you. I would have for my boyfriend, but not anymore. he broke my heart and now I have to get over it. It is just the matter of accepting that it was best this way. Everything happens for a reason. God never closes a door without opening a window. No I'm not overly religious, but it seems to make sense. lol.

How bout this, "When the world gives you Lemons, make lemonade".. better? it means to take it as it comes and make the best out of the situation. I have to do that too. lol. I'm starting to. Just remember you are never alone.

Lata

[skyler68]

He called me today from work and asked me if we could hang out tonight. Stupid me, i said yes.. so we hung out.. he asked me if i wanted to go over his friends house and i did.. it was so weird.. i hate the fact that theres this guy there who im totally inlove with and i cant even touch him or cuddle up beside him.. i think by seeing him tonight made me realize that by doing this, im giving him what he wants.. and i shouldnt because he broke my heart, you know? but im scared that if i tell him that i cant be his friend, that he'll just say ok bye and i dont want that cuz i still want to see him, but by seeing him its just going to hurt me even more. ahh i dont know what to do. i went there tonight expecting something good to come out of it but i still left with a broken heart. he kepted looking at me and saying how good i looked and stuff.. ahh its messed up.. i really wish that he would tell me what hes feeling but hes a guy so i dont think i'll ever know..

i was just wondering if you have icq or msn???