A friendship worth saving?

[nuts]

i have been very close friends with a girl i have known many years, K. we went to school together but didnt really know each other that well. we then moved on to the same college together and got to be best friends very quickly. mostly because we tended not to like anyone else but each other!

 

in the last year of college she got a boyfriend and the more time she spent with him, the less she had to spend with me! which i understand but after a while it was like she forgot about me. it seemed like she would only really make time for me when things werent going well with him. eventually they broke up after nearly a year and we went back to normal.

 

well now its happening again! and when she got involved with this guy i was wary and told her i didnt want the same thing to happen this time. she said of course it wouldnt... the guy is really cool and really into her. im happy for her because he is exactly what she needs, but i already am out of the picture, so much so that she missed my birthday altogether and (badly) tried to cover it up.

 

i dont want to lose her as a friend, but i also dont want to nag her back into a close friendship if thats not what she wants. also, i dont want this guy getting all on the offensive, thinking im into her or anything. how can i get things back to the way they were before? is that even possible? please, anybody, what can i do???

[Aishin86]

Well... you know, it is wrong of her to neglect you..

but still, if that's where she wants it to go, you should give her the space she needs. Make other friends.. but don't forget, you should be there for her when she needs you most.

[heloladies21]

Well what would you like to do friend, make her care? Life is too short to worry about someone who's willing to drop you in an instant. She might be your friend, but you're not hers.

[BellaDonna]

It is common for people to spend less time with their friends when they meet a BF or GF. However it seems that your friend really gets absorbed in it and drops you completely whenever she dates someone.

 

It takes 30 seconds to call and wish someone a happy birthday. If she doesn't even have that -then it sounds like she's not a true friend.

 

it seemed like she would only really make time for me when things werent going well with him

 

She seems to only go to you when she needs something.

 

I agree that you should make some new friends. Expand your circle.

 

BellaDonnna

[nuts]

well ive spoken to her lately. she has just started a new job and has moved back to her university area. i can understand things are hectic for her at the mo and thats fair enough. she said that she does miss me tho and wishes we could have seen each other more before we boths head off in separate ends of the country.

 

we're going to meet up soon and try and spend some time together, catch each other up on everything weve missed.

 

i agree that i should probably give her her space to live her life and at the same time get on with my own, but im glad i wasnt so proud as to not work on saving a great friendship.

 

thanks to everyone for the suggestions.