out of the abusive relationship now

[sanda]

I posted before when I needed help and yes I m out of that relationship now, the police have been wonderful, hes gone and Im here alone with my chidren.

But everyone expects me to be going around happy, I just feel ok but I have had 6 years of abuse and now its stopped , yes Im happy but everywhere there are reminders and I can hear him telling me what to do all the time , I am still having nightmares about him trying to kill me and me hiding from him with my children. I feel that he might walk in the door if I leave it unlocked. And I dont feel happy, its enough just to feel normal instead of always frightened.

Is there anyone else out there who has come out of it, how do you cope for this 1st while ?

[iamwhoiam]

i haven't followed your story, but i commend you for getting out of the abusive relationship. i know it's difficult to get to that point, out of fear.

 

it might be helpful to get some counseling, especially since you're having nightmares and still fear him coming back. psychologically, you have suffered a lot of abuse, and you need to begin the healing process.

[Lily04]

I also strongly recommend that you get counselling. I'm surprised the police never recommended it to you, because it's fairly common to recommend for a person who suffered abuse. If you ask the police, they might be able to recommend counsellors for free, or a cheaper price, I don't know if that's a factor for you. But they will be able to recommend coping strategies to deal with the recurring thoughts and nightmares, and learn how to move on with your life. I think it could be a very positive thing, and help you gain self-confidence as well.

[gardens]

Also strongly suggest counseling, not only for your emotional well-being, but for supporting you with the major decisions and issues that will affect you and your children. If the police can't assist you with finding an agency, look up United Way in your local phonebook, and ask for resources for domestic violence. Or do a search on-line for domestic violence counseling in your community, or contact your county's social service agency. I work in the healthcare field and contract with a domestic violence agency that does everything from operate an emergency shelter, to offering counseling and legal advice, to assisting with welfare assistance. Best of luck to you.

[CinnamonGirl]

i just got out of one as well and am feeling extremely greatful to the people on here.

 

let me tell you, after speaking with folks on here for 1 week, my self confidence is back to par.

 

please feel free to pm me if you have any any questions. please! mine was horrific too.

 

 

[sanda]

I will ask the womans aid lady and the police who I still need to see as they have to talk to me about his last incident , they just seem to think that with him going away ,that I must be really relived and happy which of course I am but I still have the fear because my mind wont believe hes gone , and its not so easy to adjust to feeling normal , also they keep saying how strong I am so maybe they dont think I would need to talk to anyone but I really need to as its not just that simple, if youve suffered abuse for 5 years something happens to you and you change.

thanks

Sanda x

[Morning_dew]

Get lots of counselling and help. Here's a hug (})