It was a long time ago but it still make me feel sad

[mike-e-mike]

Hi I had a big breakup ages ago (2 years) and I haven't had any contact with women apart from friendships since, but thats not really the issue.

 

The thing is after we broke up and I was very sad, I remember that my Ex had a journal on the internet and I wondered if she had written anything (it was dumb to look I know but It's long done now).

 

She hadn't written anything for a long time but she did have a load of entries from a while ago when we had broken up temporarily (I broke it off with her, I was a bit stupid and young then). We had broken up for a few months, in our 3 and a half year relationship, and she had found herself a group of new older male friends, mainly from the navy (through one of her girlfriends boyfriend).

 

I know she got kind of involved with a guy called Brad, but we discussed it when we got back together and in one of those 'close' moments she promised me she that never had sex with him.

 

Well, when I read the journal (which I can't believe I never read when we were together), it mentions in one of those quizzes that stupid teenage girls spread around, a question: what do you regret doing?

 

(this is in the time we are broken up and a lot of her journal is about how she hates me and how she loves brad)

 

her regret is 'that I didn't f*ck brad again before he left with the navy'

 

(he left for the navy not long before we got back together)

 

I haven't spoke to my ex in a very very long time (almost 2 years) but since I've read that... well at first I felt very hurt for a few days but then it went away, and now occasionally I will think about her, and then sometimes I will think about that fact, and it still really hurts me and makes me feel sad.

 

It just hurts me because she really turned on me when we broke up (she broke up with me at the end, and slept with another one of her navy friends!).

 

And when we were together again after I made amends for the first breakup (we were together another year afterwards), I was always very cosy and comfortable with the fact that even though we were apart, neither of us ever slept with anyone else (before this we were eachothers first).

 

Now I realise that I was wrong, and with her very quick and disturbing change of feelings towards me was also a history of deceit.

 

I am studying, and the campus I am at has a school physchologist but I've never spoken to her, should I speak to her?

 

It's been months since I found out but it still stings occasionally when I think about it. I'd really appreciate any advice, thanks.

[RockG]

everyone does stuff they regret... and dwelling on the past for whatever reasons just makes it worse! It would be a good idea if you did see the psychologist.. it couldn't hurt. But my advice is.. it will probably hurt from time to time for a while.. short or long?.. but you just have to say its in the past.. and the past is over.... you should just move on...

[icantbelieveimdoingthis]

I really know how you feel. I was really hooked on my ex for about a year, and just recently got rid of all those nasty lingering feelings Also, I found out he was dating a new girl by reading her live journal. Never a good idea. You're lucky she doesn't keep updating it. My advice to you is try not to dwell on things that she might have done in the past. Let bygones be bygones. Don't obsess over her online journal, even if she does start posting new updates. If you think it will help, go see the psychologist too. I know it's a huge uphill struggle, but just try to realize that you are better off without her, and that you will find someone too. BELIEVE ME, I know how hard it is not to think about it all the time, but try to keep yourself occupied with whatever--hobbies, work, school, hanging out with friends, even just watching tv. Most of all, don't worry!

[7CardStud]

it stings me just reading that man... If you're still having issues about this, I would def. talk to a professional at your school... Just talking to someone about it might make the hurt go away... Also, start dating again *if you're currently not* meet lots of people, go on a lot of dates... Soon you will forget that persons name...

 

And try never to go to that stupid website... Because everytime you might get depressed you might go there and re-read everything she has written and you will only drive yourself down.

 

Good Luck, keep us updated on how you're doing.