Still cant get her to orgasm..please help...

[WizardofOz]

hey,

ive posted on her many times asking about help to get my gf to orgasm f. heres the problem: i can get her very, very close to getting there, but as time goes on, the feeling fades, and she never hits orgasm.

 

Are there any tips or anything that i can do to push her over the top? possibly move my fingers to a different location, rub harder?

 

thanks

[katyintexas]

Does she make herself orgasm? Ask her to show you how she does it. Watch her get herself off or let her take your hand so she can move it the way she likes it.

[WizardofOz]

Does she make herself orgasm? Ask her to show you how she does it. Watch her get herself off or let her take your hand so she can move it the way she likes it.

 

she has never masterbated before, and doesnt want to. she wants orgasms to be special and only with me.

[Huntsman]

She needs to be relaxed. So try having a glass of wine, giving her a massage, lots of affection, kissing her all over her body, then moving down to give her oral sex. She may not be comfortable with this if she is inexperienced, but it is the best way if she has problems reaching orgasm. During sex you could try stimulating her clitoris, or moving her hand there to do it herself. Otherwise if you want to do it just with your hand and not during sex, make sure she is comfortable as can be, by turning out the lights, holding her close and not pressuring her.

[Shadows Light]

I think Katy in Texas has a point... everyone of us is different and like it done differently.

 

If Katy told you wihat she liked it would be different from me... sooooo....

 

OK.. not knowing how hard you are rubbing.. etc. We're talking touch... ok if you were using your tongue the same would apply.

 

Give yourself time. First of all. If she is anxious that you will be caught.. that someone will walk in...and she's not comfortble...forget it. Its not going to work for her.

 

Then... if you are making out... make sure there is lots of kissing.. touching.. etc... don't rush. Women take along time to get thier engines started. ITs like warming up a high performance car in the winter time... you need to warm it up before you put it into gear.

 

Carress other parts of her body.. kissing her neck.. its the thinest layer of skin on the body... carress her back.... arms.. belly... take your time. make it not rushed and enjoyable. This is not a race to the finish....

 

If you are fingering... then god I hope your hands are clean and nails are clipped and short. We're sensitive down there... and prone to infection should you nick us,

 

Slide your fingers gently... and I am stressing "GENTLY" because.. again.. its senstitive down there and NOTHING NOTHING should be rushed... you wouldn't want to Take a PORCHE from zero to 180 in cold weather... would you. Sooo slide it through the nether region. Hopefuly...by the time you've gotten here..she would have been lubricated to some extent. If she's slick.. it makes things easier for you. NOw.. if you've done any reading on this forum what so ever... let me stress one thing...

 

NEVER NEVER NEVER... hit on the CLITORIS hard and stay there... yep yep yep.. it there.. we know its there....but its like 8,000 nerve endings... right there. All clustered in that spot. Guys have 2,000 nerve endgings in the tip of thier penis. How could I explain it... not a guy.. but.. hmmmm its like your JEWELS.. very very sensitive... sooo gliding accross it is ok... but don't focus all the sensation right ON IT. You'll cross over that pleasure/pain threshold... this is an aread that too much of a good thing is too much of a good thing.... Really. ohhh you need to be here.. don't get me wrong.... but keep the touch... light.

 

TMI... you asked. Take your time and let your fingers explore flatten out a finger.. using the pad and underside if your finger... do not CLAW.. or poke. If primed you can try to insert a finger or two....but the orgasm you are looking for will be on the outside... on the clit. Yes yes... I know.. I said don't put LOTS of pressure on it.. pull on it.. yank on it... tweek it.. no no no no... just run your finger accross it back and forth in a slow motion.... or in large figure eights... before you vary your touch.. you'll be able to kida see hwat your partners response is... if she's grinding into your hand... its a good thing... if she starts telling you not to stop.. then don't stop keep doing what your doing.. doesn't mean add more pressure... just keep doing what you are doing...

 

And I'd say... since you've never had her go off before.. about 15 minutes to get to "O" everyone is built differently.. and it really is dependant on how much time you spent on forplay, touching, kissing, and whsiptering sweet nothings in each others ear.

 

Ok... here is another thread.. that is also very good.

 

link removed

 

Dragon Girl did a wonderful job outlining the "basics".. some of it needs fine tuning... make sure you pay attention to time, place, mood, all of that... if she's not comfortble... you could be B. Pitt..and she still wouldn't go over the edge... ok.. so I"m exagerated..just thinking about B. Pitt would do it.. bad anaglogy bad... LOL.

 

Experiemnent... and you know... its never to early to start talking about it... Just ask... maybe she'd like to tell u too but... she doesn't know how... so open up the lines of communicaiton and just ask. And if she says she doesn't know... at least then she can give you feed back... on what feels good...and what doesn't feel good.

[WildChild]

It may not have anything to do with you, but moreso with her mental state. I used to be afraid to just let myself go and it was prohibiting me from reaching an orgasm, but I did enough reading, research and of course trial and error and no longer have a problem One thing that I learned is that you have to keep your mind off of having an orgasm...not concentrating on it. The more you concentrate on it, the less exciting..in this case it is not mind over matter, but body over mind Also another thing is to make sure she has controlled breathing....making sure not to be breathing so fast and hard right away, but more calm than anything. These were tips I read about, I tried 'em and they worked. Have her not be afraid of letting herself go, controlled breathing and not worrying about having an orgasm, just let it happen 8)

[katyintexas]

Does she make herself orgasm? Ask her to show you how she does it. Watch her get herself off or let her take your hand so she can move it the way she likes it.

 

she has never masterbated before, and doesnt want to. she wants orgasms to be special and only with me.

 

I don't mean any offense by asking this question, but how old is she? Because I don't know, I feel like if she doesn't know how to (or want to, wow!) to please herself, how can she have others do it for her? Well, actually, that can go into discussion and yeah, nevermind. I just feel like if you two have been having sex and relations, she should have a grasp on what she likes and doesn't like -- ask her.

[RayKay]

Honestly, if she has not figured out what makes her orgasm yet....its going to be hard for you to figure it out. Sure oral, and manual works on most women with the clitoral stimulation - but not the same way for every woman. Some can have g-spot orgasms, others cant...some need to be talked dirty to, some need their ears nibbled at same time..

 

As others pointed out...EVERY woman is different, yes we share some body parts, but our mentality, comfort level, intimacy level with our partners and awareness of our bodies all have a part to do with it.

 

Most women learn to orgasm on their own before they do with a partner, where they can then teach them what they like, what works, what does not work and so on. Sure orgasms are special, but they are not just "gifts" for our partner, they are gifts for ourselves...and our relationship with our own body is just as important as that with our partner's!

 

You two are just going to have to communicate and talk about it. But, I will say again, its going to be very hard for you to know what to do, or for her to expect you to know how to make her orgasm when she herself is not sure.

 

I will say this - unless she can be comfortable with her own sexuality and body, she may have a hard time breaking to that point. It's 99% mental.

[katyintexas]

RayKay, I completely agree!

[Shadows Light]

RayKay.. I'll have to agree with that... it is about that 99% mental.

And yes.. she needs to be comfortable with her own body to be able to let go.. or figure out what will put her over the edge. Everyone has different triggers... and she knows her own best trigger. And we all have triggers yet to be discovered... Thats the fun part of being a couple. LOL.

[WizardofOz]

alright guys, ill talk with her

 

thanks for the help