A Question for the guys....

[Mickeysant]

If you struck out while you were trying to pick up a woman,would you try again in say 6 months? Here's the low-down...I tried to pickup this woman a while back and I can tell she wasn't interested. But why after all these months is she giving me the eye again? I don't understand that. Any thoughts?

[Beec]

Her feelings for anything don't remain constant. Interest increases and wanes. A smart lover accounts for this even in the relationship, whether consciously or not. Why wouldn't this woman's feelings also change? Body language rarely lies. You seem to be getting good body language.

 

I would make an indirect approach, if I could.

[Mickeysant]

I would like to approach her,believe me,but the last time I spoke to her she said she was seeing someone. But if you are seeing someone then why the hell do you keep looking at me? And the fact that I don't want to look desperate either.

[Day_Walker]

I believe that you could make another attempt but, you should have learned what mistake you made last time. You want to pay close attention to her actions around you this is a signal of her interest. If you give her the full court press then she will know exactly what you are up to. Be patient and think of it as a short casual conversation.

[Beec]

Was she seeing someone, or is that what she told you?

 

If you look desparate, she will take those looks and lose them quickly, so that's out. You need the look of being able to live with her or without her, take her or leave her, etc., at any time.

 

I might consider an occasional conversation with a bit of the fake wounded duck. Fake acting like you are hurt because she rejected you, but make sure it is clearly seen as fake.

[Mickeysant]

Maybe she told me she was seeing someone to let me know she wasn't interested. I would rather someone come out and tell me they aren't interested than to say you are seeing someone. It sounded too much like it was something she rehearsed.

[Beec]

Yes, I can agree with that. Tell me the truth.

 

But now she acts interested, and you are still interested. So how do you get it done or find out if you can?

[Mickeysant]

Right! That would be a big help if I knew exactly what to do this time. I don't want to get shot down again. If I get rejected again I won't be able to show my face again.

[Beec]

Well, I don't think any one set of instructions can give you the perfect approach. You need to make your moves on her, not some generic woman, and no one thing works on all women.

 

I do think you need a low risk approach made in intervals over time.

 

What I would do is alternate signs of interest with signs of disinterest. I would offer compliments, but in a very off hand way. You cannot indicate that you seek any reaction. Say you pass her walking, appear to be in a very good happy, upbeat mood, and she is holding a book, and you see it, keep walking but point at it and say "that looks interesting", but just keep right on going, not giving time for any conversation. She may wonder why you said it, and wonder why you made that kind of opening without seeking a conversation. So, you leave it at that that day.

 

I might then pass her with a quick hello the next time or two or three times, and then pay another compliment and look for a short, very short conversation.

 

Each time, you either ignore her mostly or give her something. See if she demonstrates more signs of interest.

 

Lines I like when someone is interested and toward the end of a conversation is to tell her I like or enjoy talking to her. At times, this will get a response that you should do it more often or that she enjoys it too. If it does, then ask to do it, go for a cup of coffee or a drink. All you are asking to do is talk.

[Mun]

After you do as Beec suggests, and this woman talks with you a bit, try saying something like " ya know, if you were available I'd ask you out for a cup of coffee " and see what she says. This way you don't directly ask her out ( and risk getting shot down if she is taken), but you let her know you are still interested--in case she is too.

 

Edit: I just noticed you were asking this question to the guys

[Mickeysant]

That's ok. I just thought that if there were any guys in the same situation as me that they could give me something to go on.