Questions for the guys: How is a gorgeous girl different?

[asdf]

I think that the majority of features which people find attractive can be shared in common (symmetry, health, clear skin (which can indicate fertility), smell, etc).

 

1. What exactly is meant by symmetry? How symmetrical are we talking, and do people really notice this stuff?

 

2. Health isn't about attraction, its because we want to know the other person is alive and going to be there. How healthy are we talking about?

 

3. How does clear skin indicate fertility? I'm not seeing the connection.

 

1. I refer you to this: link removed . There've been plenty of studies about it.

 

2. Knowing the person is going to be alive is important (a parent would be preferred to be around to take care of their offspring). Your reason is a valid point of why healthyness is important. There are evolutionary factors (typical good genes banter) as well. Point is, healthiness is more attractive than illness.

 

3. Women get clearer skin during ovulation (and thus are able to get pregnant). Their skin is more blemished throughout other stages of their biological clock. Some studies have implied, but not directly shown that women who do have more blemished skin are considered as potentially good mates in the future. (The reasoning for this is that if a woman is at that point, she cannot be carrying another man's child so she can be impregnated in the future). Clear skin is still generally more attractive than unclear skin.

[tufty]

but if its a genuine interest, the dude's gonna be nervous, so take it as an akward compliment lol...

 

ta! does wonders for my self esteem... shame he never managed to ask again though!

[jordan_2]

then you should ask him...

 

Don't be conventional, and sorry if that statement was read wrong, I mean that it is akward in the way that he has to ask you like he does, but if he likes you, he'll be really really nervous, that's the point

 

ok, so back to what I was saying....ask the dude out if you like him

 

just take him somewhere where you two can be alone and ask him out....

[ShySoul]

1. Take all the studies you want, it's not going to change the fact that no one thinks about this stuff unless they are either shallow, posting on some site, or do this kind of stuff for a living. There are studies on anything you can think of, yet the often have no real impact in real life. People are attracted to people, not how symmetrical the person is.

 

2. Yet part of the standard marriage vow is in sickness and in health, so if you are really attracted to the person then it won't matter. Another reason we want them to be healthy is because we care about them and don't want to see them in pain. The girl I love got real sick when I was visiting her, and it hurt me to see her like that. Didn't make her any less attractive, and her health was never a factor in me liking her or not. There are also people who are attrracted to each other and fall in love even though one has a serious health issue. Health is just another one of the smaller considerations that don't amount to much when compared to what is really important.

 

3. Interesting skin observations, thanks for them. Of course, I've found girls with blemished skin attractive. And plenty of people with less then perfectly clear skin are considered attractive every second. So its another incidental factor that in the grand scheme isn't important. Are you sure the real reason isn't that we get bombarded with anti-blemish commercial?

 

It amazes me how much focus is presented on such artifical things. Real attraction goes to something so much deeper then skin, health, physical attributes... it goes to the heart of a person. If you want to see what makes a person really attractive, notice their heart and soul. Everything else is just extra toppings.

[t-rav]

you know, i dont like girls for their looks. are tons of drop dead gorgeous girls at my school, but i dont like them. it could be the fact that i want a girl who will laugh at what i have to say. i want a girl who doesnt need to wear makeup to think she is pretty. i want a girl who has some set morals. i want a girl who will let me buy her ticket at the movies. i want a girl who isnt afraid to ask me how i feel about a subject (lol as long as she doesnt laugh). sadly, i found a beautiful girl who has all the traits, but i cant get her to go anywhere with me. im not sure she likes me. so... i want to ask you a question:

 

what is it about "gorgeous" guys that make a girl treat them better, act different, blush more, and giggle all the time?

 

its a natural reaction. if you have anything to comment off of my ideas, feel free to take a shot at me.

 

-travis

[jordan_2]

travis let me ask you this,

 

what makes guys do the same towards women?

 

It's a instinctual attraction (and I hate this whole concept but in a way it's true) that most girls fall for the good looking guy thinking that his personality matches his looks...even though most of teh time it's not the case....there are lots of "hot" girls at my school too, but ironically enough none of them are girls that I can see myself, being myself with them...

 

personally, I'm like you, I prefer that hidden rare treasure of a woman, the one that I can talk to openly without feeling embarrassed....and actually I'm pretty much in the same boat as you, I'm not too sure how she feels, so.....

 

I also want to comment, that there are a lot of these girls that I talk to, and I think that if you have that approachable, fun, genuine personality, then they'll talk to you.... I dunno that's hwat Ive noticed with my friends n myself

[Miss M]

sadly, i found a beautiful girl who has all the traits, but i cant get her to go anywhere with me. im not sure she likes me. so... i want to ask you a question:

 

what is it about "gorgeous" guys that make a girl treat them better, act different, blush more, and giggle all the time?

Are you asking because the girl you want is giving a gorgeous guy all the attention? It's a fair question, but I don't actually have the answer because I've never responded in that way specifically to gorgeous guys, so I can't relate. But I think smallworld said something that might also address your question...

If they only knew the truth. Every woman -- gorgeous or not -- wants to be loved, understood, and admired for who she is and who she is alone. Engage her heart, mind, and spirit better than anyone else can and she's yours. What mind game can top that???

Of course this probably won't work on 100% of the women, so there are still no guarantees. But it's still what I'd recommend 'cause it works on me.

 

And as to giggling... well, I can think of a couple of very unattractive guys who got and held my attention for a while... and also made me giggle a lot, simply because they were fantastic comedians.

[jordan_2]

If they only knew the truth. Every woman -- gorgeous or not -- wants to be loved, understood, and admired for who she is and who she is alone. Engage her heart, mind, and spirit better than anyone else can and she's yours. What mind game can top that???

 

I didn't get to read that post by small world, but I agree with Miss M....

smallworld, that line was like something from a song (as cliche and corny as it sounds)

it's a very true statement, no matter how much of a front a girl puts on, that's what she is looking for...

so i guess the tip for all men!!

SUPPORT AND ENGAGE (as smallworld said): HER HEART, MIND AND SPIRIT....

 

THANK YOU SMALLWORLD............I think I'm actually gonna take that and use it for my situation !

[OceanEyes]

And as to giggling... well, I can think of a couple of very unattractive guys who got and held my attention for a while... and also made me giggle a lot, simply because they were fantastic comedians.

 

Funny guys are always very charasmatic. A guy who can make anyone laugh is a rare gift who I'd totally love being around. Who doesn't like to laugh?

[Miss M]

I didn't get to read that post by small world, but I agree with Miss M....

smallworld, that line was like something from a song (as cliche and corny as it sounds)

it's a very true statement, no matter how much of a front a girl puts on, that's what she is looking for...

so i guess the tip for all men!!

SUPPORT AND ENGAGE (as smallworld said): HER HEART, MIND AND SPIRIT....

 

THANK YOU SMALLWORLD............I think I'm actually gonna take that and use it for my situation !

Well, good for you. And if she's really worth it to you, then persevere and you will probably win her over from that guy she's gushing over. Guys who really know how to engage a girl in that way are rare and really don't have a lot of competition.

 

And if you're interested smallworld's post was on page 3 of this thread,

...In fact I think her whole post is especially good, but that small bit really hit the nail on the head.

 

And I didn't think it sounded cliche or corny. Like you I also thought it sounded like something from a song, or maybe like poetry... but most of all it sounded like the truth.

 

Funny guys are always very charasmatic. A guy who can make anyone laugh is a rare gift who I'd totally love being around. Who doesn't like to laugh?

Yep. Totally agree. Funny guys with a natural and quick wit are definitely another type that easily outshines the gorgeous guys.

[smallworld]

THANK YOU SMALLWORLD............I think I'm actually gonna take that and use it for my situation!

And I didn't think it sounded cliche or corny. Like you I also thought it sounded like something from a song, or maybe like poetry... but most of all it sounded like the truth.

Aw shucks Jordan & Miss M. Thanks so much for your kind words. I've tried my hand at writing poetry and believe me you're not missing anything. But I'll take all the compliments I can get so keep them coming!

 

If I ever take up songwriting, Weird Al Yankovic better watch out!

[jordan_2]

lol

honestly though smallworld

write a poem as heartfelt as that, and I wanna read it...

lol that stuff is hardcore beauty (lol just a contrast in words, that's my hand at poetry for ya

seriosuly though, make a poem and post it, I'm interested in seeing your work

[t-rav]

im really quite saddened to report that she turned me down after the third time. im really feeling pretty sad at heart. i see little to look forward to in my life (dont worry ya'll, im not suicidal). i guess at this point im "eeking" by. my one inspiration is my best friend. he has been through so much more than me, and yet he is still happy to be alive. i guess he has a closer relationship to God at this point. thanks for the comments everybody.

 

 

-travis

 

life is like a garden, dig it. -my friend tyler greg

[asdf]

im really quite saddened to report that she turned me down after the third time. im really feeling pretty sad at heart. i see little to look forward to in my life (dont worry ya'll, im not suicidal). i guess at this point im "eeking" by. my one inspiration is my best friend. he has been through so much more than me, and yet he is still happy to be alive. i guess he has a closer relationship to God at this point.

 

or possibly because he doesn't think that a girl rejecting him is something to be that sad over. honestly, does that rejection define you? is this girl any more important than a girl who wouldn't reject you? and imagine that this rejection happened 5 years ago, and laugh about how important it seemed at the time but how silly you realize it was right now.

[smallworld]

honestly though smallworld

write a poem as heartfelt as that, and I wanna read it...

lol that stuff is hardcore beauty (lol just a contrast in words, that's my hand at poetry for ya

Hey Jordan! You got it! Only one problem. I haven't written a poem in over a decade, so you might want to pull up a chair and take a very, very long nap...

 

I'm sorry to inform you that "hardcore beauty" is strictly verboten here at enotAlone. Fortunately moving 'gorgeous' poetry is not. Have you read Volution's work in the poetry forum? It's sublime! He has a gift for painting with words the bittersweetness of love's promise unfulfilled and the resulting turbulent tides of emotion that rage deep within our hearts. His poems cut to the core and make me want to be a better writer. Perhaps his work will inspire you as well.

[jordan_2]

hahah smallworld ure jokez...thnx for the info, I'm gonna go check his work out...

and since we're on the topic...

 

I think that a girl who isn't afraid to show emotion or personality and one who is not afraid of emotion and honesty in a relationship is a must....

character is a definite turn on

[Miss M]

honestly though smallworld

write a poem as heartfelt as that, and I wanna read it...

lol that stuff is hardcore beauty (lol just a contrast in words, that's my hand at poetry for ya

Hey Jordan! You got it! Only one problem. I haven't written a poem in over a decade, so you might want to pull up a chair and take a very, very long nap...

 

I'm sorry to inform you that "hardcore beauty" is strictly verboten here at enotAlone. Fortunately moving 'gorgeous' poetry is not. Have you read Volution's work in the poetry forum? It's sublime! He has a gift for painting with words the bittersweetness of love's promise unfulfilled and the resulting turbulent tides of emotion that rage deep within our hearts. His poems cut to the core and make me want to be a better writer. Perhaps his work will inspire you as well.

 

Okay, this is way off-topic, but smallworld, you really do write very beautifully, a lovely insight and a natural gift with the words. Honestly, don't sell yourself short about the poetry thing.

[smallworld]

I think that a girl who isn't afraid to show emotion or personality and one who is not afraid of emotion and honesty in a relationship is a must.... character is a definite turn on

Jordan ITA! If you meet a girl like that, let me know. They're rare and few in between! Seriously thank you for the compliments. I'm actually twice your age, but if you want to call me a girl, I won't contradict you.

 

Okay, this is way off-topic, but smallworld, you really do write very beautifully, a lovely insight and a natural gift with the words. Honestly, don't sell yourself short about the poetry thing.

Thank you Miss M! Coming from an wise, intelligent, well-read woman such as yourself, I consider that a true compliment! Maybe one of these days I'll post my poetry here anonymously. I think I've already too much as is about myself, so I'm afraid of what else the poems might reveal. Ok, back to your regular programming... Gorgeous girls and how they're "different." Darn if I know!

[jordan_2]

smallworld said:

If you meet a girl like that, let me know. They're rare and few in between! Seriously thank you for the compliments. I'm actually twice your age, but if you want to call me a girl, I won't contradict you.

 

lol ok let me rephrase that....any WOMAN who canbe open in a relationship is what I'd love to someday find...and if it is rare, and if I can bring this quality out of a woman, it will make me feel that much more complete...

 

and as far as age goes smallworld, who cares? age is what you make of it...i've seen fifty year old men in better shape than 15 year old guys (who should be in their prime physical shape..cough cough); and while on this stubject, I'm gonna add to my list and say that a "woman" (hehe, just to avoid discrepency, smallworld who respects herself and is confident in herself (without the vanity) is a real steal...

[smallworld]

Miss M, Found one! A gorgeous woman who wrote gorgeous poetic fiction as well... link removed

 

"She saw a dust-bearing bee sink into the sanctum of a bloom; the thousand sister-calyxes arch to meet the love embrace and the ecstatic shiver of the tree from root to tiniest branch creaming in every blossom and frothing with delight. So this was a marriage!" - Their Eyes Were Watching God

 

I'm gonna add to my list and say that a "woman" (hehe, just to avoid discrepency, smallworld) who respects herself and is confident in herself (without the vanity) is a real steal...

Without the vanity? Darn. Well guess that (and Mr. Smallworld) rule me out!

[jordan_2]

hey smallworld!!

 

why don't you write a lovely poem on helpful people within the world (or maybe more specifically this forum)...and don't worry about the music, that will come along later

[Miss M]

Miss M, Found one! A gorgeous woman who wrote gorgeous poetic fiction as well... link removed

 

"She saw a dust-bearing bee sink into the sanctum of a bloom; the thousand sister-calyxes arch to meet the love embrace and the ecstatic shiver of the tree from root to tiniest branch creaming in every blossom and frothing with delight. So this was a marriage!" - Their Eyes Were Watching God

Thanks smallworld. Yep, Zora Neale Hurston is definitely a fav... just like fine wine.

(And you have very good taste.

 

Ok, back to your regular programming... Gorgeous girls and how they're "different." Darn if I know!

Ah, but that's precsiely the point! There really IS no difference. It's all a myth. A girl might be gorgeous, but that's really not who she is. But can I convince anybody?... probably not. But at least I've learned a lot about why people feel the way they do. At least that helps me get some perspective on things. And the bonus is it's been nice to discover along the way that there are a couple of folks who actually do think like me.

[Miss M]

Oh, and here's something relevant...

link removed

[smallworld]

why don't you write a lovely poem on helpful people within the world (or maybe more specifically this forum)...and don't worry about the music, that will come along later

Hey Jordan! Thanks for the encouragement! You make me wish I could just reel the verses out, but to be honest, I don't write the poems. They write "me," but only when I'm open to listening to what they have to say.

 

As for songs, I'm writing one right now. Like Weird Al, I rip pop melodies and insert my take on life's absurdities to amuse myself. When I come up with a song that isn't too "revealing", I promise I'll share.

 

A girl might be gorgeous, but that's really not who she is. But can I convince anybody?... probably not. But at least I've learned a lot about why people feel the way they do. At least that helps me get some perspective on things. And the bonus is it's been nice to discover along the way that there are a couple of folks who actually do think like me.

I agree Miss M! Until I found enotAlone, many times I've felt like I was the only one with such thoughts. At one point of my life, I was a volunteer with a domestic violence program fully staffed by women. None of these ladies would have made a magazine cover, but they were each passionate, "real," and beautiful in their own way. Because I was dealing with my own beauty issues at that time, being around them made me see in stark contrast how Madison Ave., the media, and society shape our thinking and subtlely push the idea that beauty = self worth. So when I read the posts about gorgeous women being different, I see that subconsciously many males (atop their own biological imperative to mate with the most attractive and healthy of mates) sincerely believe this to be true too. If we as a society believe that a woman's beauty defines her worth, than is it any wonder that we also think a man's ability to attain a gorgeous woman (by mainstream standards), defines his?

 

Of course I intellectually disagree with all that, but to be honest, it's something I deal with emotionally every day...

[Dre_7]

I just wanted to add my 2 cents...As I grow older, I've realized that I don't fall head over heels for girls anymore based on looks. Like just 2 years ago, I might've fallen "in love" based on a girl's appearance. Soon I came to understand that the content of a person's character is more valuable than diamonds, if they're a good person at heart. Of course I like pretty girls, and we all have our own definitions of pretty, good looking etc. But beyond that, beyond the clothes, the makeup, the outward appearance etc...there is the real person. What's on the inside of a person can make them beautiful on the outside...just look at any girl or guy who is truly happy with themselves, even when things aren't going so well, that is a beautiful person.