Something happened between my gf and i, very confused

[einstein1387]

O.K. my gf and i have been dating for well over a year now and im 17 and shes 16, im leaving for college soon and she has another year left and we have talked it over and we decided we care enough about each other where we will make it work. Things i thought were great between us and we have been talking and having alot of fun together. However, something happened the other day and now she wont speak to me at all. We were running together and i made a joke about it and she took it the wrong way and she said that it struck some choard with her and she wont talk to me. Days before i had been having rough times with my parents and she had helped me a lot and the joke was me just being a bit angry. She said that she doesnt want to see me until she gets back from vacation and she leaves in a week and then comes back in a week, for one day and then i leave for school. She told me that she has been dealing with stuff that i dont know about and ive been begging her to talk to me about it becasue i think i can help. I am very scared that this is the end and that i cant change it. I tried to talk to her after it happened but she locked her self in her room and told me to get out. I gave it a day and then tried to call her but she just hung up with out even a hello. I wrote her a love note type thing and just left it with her brother to give to her, but i dont know if she even read it Something like this happened once before, but not this bad. Last time she soon came and told me that there was a lot on her mind things took time to get better and the only time she somewhat talk to me was when i brought her flowers, but i dont know if this is the same. All my frineds say give it time and call her but im not sure what to do or if she wants to end it or already ended it. Im very depressed and need help quickly. I dont know what to do. I just want to make things better. PLEASE SOMEONE

~confused bf

[BellaDonna]

We were running together and i made a joke about it and she took it the wrong way and she said that it struck some choard with her and she wont talk to me

 

What was the joke exactly?

 

It sounds like she has some issues and she was very sensitive to whatever it was that you said.

 

I would give her some space.

 

-BellaDonna

[Day_Walker]

You need to realize that you arent going to get some immediate answers with this situation. When or if she wants to talk then she will do that, so just let her have some time and stop being impatient. This is something that will help you out, typically when people are dealing with problems and are telling you a story they dont want to solve the problem they just want to talk about it. You dont need to solve her problems because she will do that on her own. Another thing to think about is if she is going to keep something to herself where she needs this much time to herself then it shows her inability to deal with problems and it would seem that she isnt mature enough to be in the kind of relationship that you are talking about having when you go away to college.

[einstein1387]

thank you for the quick response. the joke was that she said she wanted to slow down so when she kept going slower i walked next to her and said "hows this?" and just smiled. She said that she knew she was slow and i didnt need to make fun of her. i said i was sorry but she just an the other way and went back to her house very upset. she said that she wasnt mad at me but just upset, i thought that this was just to humor me. i should have been more detailed her, sorry, but yes she is very very sensitve about these types of topics espcially if it envoles her apperance she is extremly sensitive about and her weight, it has gotten better but this may have done something. Once in a while she says its bothering her but im not sure if she has been bottling it up lately. Im not sure if this is the problem or if it is me or something else completely. im not sure how long i should wait to try and talk to her again. Im also concerned that she might want to split up but she never said anything about it but she said she wants to take a break, but i leave when the supposed "break" ends does this mean the end?

~bf

[thetruthintheformofhiphop]

im in a position kind of similar to your,im 16 andmy g/f is 14 so you can imagine like how many years she still have left when im off to college. Any ways this is a toughie man, I have talked things over with my girl and i told her that ill come visit when i can and stuff, but your is crazier.

 

I say you should take the initiative, realize that your going to college, DAMN, college girl and all kinds of stuff.So you should no talke to her either, tell your self "well you know what im off to college soon and i can get college girl and stuff yhea' then she will realize that you can get college girl and go to parties and stuff then she will come back to you when she realizes all of that, if she doesnt talk to you first, well that means that she might not care.

 

I hope i kind of helped buddy

[Hope75]

the joke was that she said she wanted to slow down so when she kept going slower i walked next to her and said "hows this?" and just smiled. She said that she knew she was slow and i didnt need to make fun of her. i said i was sorry but she just an the other way and went back to her house very upset.

 

Seems like a silly thing to get that dramatic and upset over. Is she generally an immature person? Maybe there is something else going on as well? She might be feeling scared and insecure that you are going off to college and leaving her behind, alot can change in college and with the parties and meeting new people there's always the chance you will meet someone new. Have you guys talked at length about this?

 

I don't see how you can resolve any issues without speaking to each other.

 

Seeing as how you can't force her to talk to you I don't see what you can do except give her some space to cool off and see what happens when she comes back, however, I question the strength of a relationship that cannot withstand something as minor as a small and insignificant joke.

[einstein1387]

i see what ur saying about how it was something very small but i think it might be something bigger behind it and this might be the straw that broke the camals back. If you know what i mean. The real problem that i have right now is still if i should give hersome time how long is enough and when i do try to talk to her again what do i do?

[Hope75]

I would say give her until she returns from vacation, and then you two need to have a serious talk. If you can't come to some sort of resolution, or she is still unwilling to discuss it, than maybe you need to re evaluate how much this relationship means to her and how much you are expected to do on your own.

 

(P.S.-- it should be 50/50 and you should be able to talk openly about anything without fear of rejection.)

[suprema99]

I agree. Time heals alot of stuff. You sounded like you think you messed up. So you made it clear you were sorry, there's nothing really more you can do right now but make it worse by begging and stuff. Leave her alone for now, if that's what she wants. goodluck