Desperate and crying - at a crossroads - need help

[js2132]

I have decide between my biggest fears: being financially very poor or being heartbroken awhile also living in stagnation.

absense of true living as defined by exciting frinds and circum

I went back to school after several years break and a long abusive relationship. I have worked hard and have several options on where to continue the last couple of years of my education but am confused.

I am now in a relationship, unfortunately long distance, that is very special to me.

I do not know whether to take a chance and move to New York to go to school and be with him as well as be living in a fabulous city OR stay here.

The catch is that I have a full scholarship to a school in my home state and would have to work alot harder to stay afloat in NY.

I would still be considering this move even if there was no romance involved. I am worried about making the grade so to speak if I move somewhere where I need a decent income and will be going to school fulltime.

Please give me some advice to help me decide

[pi_anochik]

Well, a HUGE city like NewYork holds a lot of opportunity. If I had the chance to go to college in New York, I would probably take it. The relationship is also another plus to go to NewYork. Also, going to a school where you'd have to work harder could be a good thing. It'll teach you responsiblity and build your work ethic. However, this is your decision and one that only you can make. I'm just trying to bring some points into prospective.

[michelemybell]

Well, first questions to you are how long have you been seeing this guy, where do you live now, and have you dated each other a lot in person? Did you establish a relationship with him while living close to each other or has it always been long distance?

Also, if you are moving out there, will you be moving in with him?

If your relationship has been long distance during most of its duration than you don't really know the guy well enough---you may think you do, but trust me, you haven't seen the entire deal yet until you're with this person all the time in the flesh.

I would strongly suggest if you decide to move to New York to not move in with him and have your own place while dating. If something goes wrong in the relationship you might be stuck---and New York is not the place you want to be stuck!!

[js2132]

Ok-

I live on the West Coast he is in NY. We became very quickly and deeply involved for about two months while he was in my hometown. It has been a couple months shy of a year and we see each other every few weeks and talk and email daily. I have met all of his friends and family and they are all fabulous.

I was not planning on moving in with him, though he has asked me, because I feel that would leave me too dependant on him after having just relocated. I completely agree with you and he understands and respects my position on that also.

I would be making sacrifices in the areas of quality of life and academic performance by being financially stretched while going to school fulltime as opposed to having a complete 'all meals on us' scholarship here on the west coast.

The worst regrets are always missed and mishandled opportunities.