Should I pursue a friendship into something more? Help!

[whitelilly]

I have been friends with this guy for a few months now. For the past few weeks we have been seeing each other nearly every day.. and it's been a lot of fun. Lately, I have found myself attracted to him, sexually. There have been moments of tension, where I feel like something is about to happen but I have backed off because I am not sure if it should happen.

 

The thing is, he is nothing like what I usually go for in guys. He is into really different things to me, and isn't what I "want" in a guy.. but I still feel these feelings.

 

I am so confused though, as to whether or not he likes me as more than a friend.

 

And how can I tell if all these feelings are because I have been alone for quite a while, and it's actually companionship that I am missing? Or that it's actually him and something that I should pursue?

 

In the last few days I haven't seen him, and he hasn't sms'd me or called or anything, and I have found myself anxious! I really miss him.

 

Yet, I am still so confused as to what I am feeling? I don't want to ruin our friendship though. Any advice as to what I should do would be appreciated! Mainly on whether or not I should pursue it, and if so, how?

 

Thankyou!

[darkblue]

We miss friends too; But after a few days..

 

I think you keep it friends just for now. Get to know eachother well, then if you still have those feelings for him, Go For It.

 

Otherwise, if you really would like something more with this guy; Flirt with him and see how he reacts.

 

Good luck and keep us updated on how you're doing and what you choose to do.

[Shadows Light]

Opposites do attract they say. Sometimes we are attracted to people who have qualities that we ourselves do not have. Its the old ying/yang thing....

 

And then unless you explore all the possibilites... how do you know what you like and what you don't like. Me? I keep myself open to NEW learnings everyday... ie... like trying something new on a menu at a restaurant... or a new flavor of ice-cream, you never know unless you try.

 

So the fact that you find this guy fun and exciting to be with... although he's not what you are "conditioned" to... is not all that surprising. It means you are someone who is open to the world. Or... may be opening herself up to the world.

 

Tension... gotta love that ol sexual tension. He maybe feeling it too if you've spent a lot of time together.

 

I'd say... just keep being friends with him and let your instincts go. Let nature take her course. As Darkblue said... explore the friendship. The secret to a GREAT love affair is the ability to communicate and be above all best friends...trust an all that jazz. If you want to feel out the territory... then flirt with him a little bit and see how he responds.

 

And... if you cross the line and he's not interested...thats ok. Really... take it as a learning. And just tell him how you feel. Honesty is the best policy. Good friendships are built on honesty. And sometimes there might be ONE who is WAY WAY attracted to the other...but the other doesn't feel it. Doesn't mean the friendship has to end. As long as everyone is honest and above board. Besides... maybe it'd give him an option to think about if he hasn't thought about it already. LOL. You'd certainly do lots for his ego.

 

And my motto is.... Always leave a man in better condition then when you find him. Boosting his ego a bit and building self-esteem in someone else... ohhh yeah. Its a gift. LOL.

 

Have fun. Let nature take its course. And don't worry over it too much. Enjoy the moment.

[darkblue]

I'd say... just keep being friends with him and let your instincts go. Let nature take her course. As Darkblue said... explore the friendship. The secret to a GREAT love affair is the ability to communicate and be above all best friends...trust an all that jazz. If you want to feel out the territory... then flirt with him a little bit and see how he responds.

Summed up with - All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon sand.

- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

 

 

 

And... if you cross the line and he's not interested...thats ok. Really... take it as a learning. And just tell him how you feel. Honesty is the best policy. Good friendships are built on honesty. And sometimes there might be ONE who is WAY WAY attracted to the other...but the other doesn't feel it. Doesn't mean the friendship has to end. As long as everyone is honest and above board. Besides... maybe it'd give him an option to think about if he hasn't thought about it already. LOL. You'd certainly do lots for his ego.

 

Summed up with - Nothing Ventured; Nothing Gained.

 

Good Advice SL.

[whitelilly]

Thanks guys! Really great advice.

 

Darkblue, when you say that we all miss friends.. this is different. This is definetely a "missing a crush" thing, where you get all anxious because you start wondering WHY they haven't called etc. Hehe, funny things, crushes.

 

But, all of your advice has been great. I will wait it out and see how it goes, if the feeling is still there after a while longer, I will pursue it.

 

I have flirted with him, and he flirts too but we both are pretty flirty people by nature, so I won't base it all on that. He was pretty full on one night, and I had this feeling he was going to make moves.. but I wasn't sure what I was feeling at that point and didn't want to make any rash decisions, so I kind of avoided it all. We have mutual friends, and one of his friends, I dated for a little while.. I am not sure if he knows this.. but if he does, it could be holding him back.

 

Anyhow, I will wait it out and I'll let you know what happens for sure!

 

Thanks again