I need advice on a girl, please help me out

[nottoobrightguy]

thanks for the help guys!

[jna35]

You can't force her to have a relationship she doesn't want. If you really like her than I would remain friends if you can handle it. If not, then I would let her know that it hurts you too much to do so and leave the ball in her court. Hope it all works out for you!

[nottoobrightguy]

I don't want to force her. But is this her way of saying I'm not the right guy for her or does she really just want to have some single fun for a while. Should I stay her friend and hope she changes her mind over time or should I stay away? Its just weird that she would start something and then suddenly just stop.

[mieshagirl]

Sounds like this girl may be afraid of commitment. I wouldn't necessarily narrow it down to you not being her type. She probably really respects your feelings and doesn't want to hurt you.

If it doesn't bother you to hang out with her as a friend, then that would be cool. But if it bothers you, let it go. I would not wait around on her to change her mind.

I hope this is somewhat useful. Good luck.

[S4il]

Sounds to me like you showed to much to soon, and that isn't a bad thing, The "nice guy badge" is what seems as though is the reason why she lost interest, you told her how YOU felt, a big OPPS on your part, make a personal note to yourself next time, to always keep the girl guessing, it's part of that sick cat mouse game all couples play in the beginning, no matter if we like it or not, we at times will become the hunt, or the hunted.. sucks to be the one hunting but none the less it's nothing you should continue doing, don't pressure her with questions, its not her fault, nor is it yours.

 

You two don't share a chemistry, something was missing....it may Not seem that way when hanging out, things are going well, the kissing, the flirting, etc.. blah blah blah , I'm going through this fast i know..

 

But to get to the point I'll say that my advice to you is to cold shoulder her, see what her actions are, instead of you always calling her, and making small talk, see FIRST if she is willing to play fair game, place the ball on her side of the court by telling HER what she has told you in the past the magic words -->"call me" if she says NO, simply say "Not my loss" get an attitude, be a jerk girls for some reason like that, why...? cause your making yourself a challenging person all over again, you see its kinda hard for guy at times to hold back their emotions towards a women early on, but crucial indeed to remain as if your not interested..its just the way they like it..I don't know why but something that women are attracted to in a guy, the whole..Un-opened book kinda thing..

 

IF (big if) she isn't going to give you the time or day to be friends than no worries forget about her...let her know whats up, don't be scared to tell her that you are not cool with being friends, and that what she did wasn't cool with you. *If that is how you feel*

 

But back to what i said about leaving her alone, this may play out more in your favor than expected...you can flip the script and burn the bridges of communication as a test too see if she really does still want you around as a friend, you may not understand this all now but try to read between the lines of what I'm aiming at saying, you can't change what has already happened, that is in the past and has to be forgotten, the Past between you and her at this point in time are strictly meaningless, Your clean slate here my friend, she has stated to you that she wants to remain friends, so let HER serve the ball, when it's on your side of the court, it's an obligation on your part to hit it back., until than kick back, and enjoy life.

[Goincrazy]

Well it's a mystery as to what the future holds for you, but the best thing to do would be to give her space and be the funny guy and wonderful friend you are to her. Give her something to look forward to everytime she sees you. Relationships often come and go and they don't always end on good terms. Friendships are the most powerful bonds. And who knows? Maybe she will change her mind farther down the road

[suprema99]

Hey nottoobrightguy, you told her you don't want a relationship right from the beginning. That's telling her, I don't mind you seeing other guys whenever you want, cause I'm afraid to give you a shot- I don't want to get hurt and stuff. She might be all confused now by what you want.

[nottoobrightguy]

I told her I didn't want a relationship but after a week I told her things changed for me. I think the real problem that someone previously said is I said too much about how I felt too soon. So i'm thinking of taking the avoiding approach for a good month and see if she contacts me. If not I'll see her at a bar with some of my friends next month and I'll try to act the same. Just being a goofy guy in front of her.

[jaguar.gr3]

hi, just stumbled accross this thread and thought i could help you in some way.

I too have had a number of friends that have either rejected me or dumped me for reasons along the line of ''i just want to stay friends'' or ''i dont want to hurt you''.

From what people have said to me, this generaly is translated as ''i like you as a frend so much, that being in a relationship would somehow wreck such a good friendship, and i dont want to risk that.''

One of my previous girlfriends actually made me promise before we went out that ''we would always be friends afterwards no matter what would happen'' (bad start to the relationship huh)

 

The only bit of advice i can think of giving you is this...if it is going to happen in the future, it will happen. But for the time being...be happy that you have another friend, who obviously thinks your so amazing tht she doesnt want to risk losing your friendship.

 

good luck, Ed

[suprema99]

Hey nottobright, I think that's a good approuch. A girl that kisses you is attracted to you. I don't see how she can, by a few words, all of a sudden lose her liking. But I think it's more of her getting off that you like her now, after you made it sound like you didn't at first. She kissed you also, Sounds like a bit of some teasing on her part, going on there. Goodluck