New Girl in my life and things not progressing

[tojusthavefun1976]

I have been dating this girl for about month now. We basically met in a bar, I got her number called a few days later.... Went on a date.. Things went well and I initiated a kiss when I dropped her off.. I was thinking a small kiss maybe 2-3 seconds worth.. You know it being the first date and all. She was thinking more like a minute or two so I kept kissing her when she pulled me back into her... Problem is this relationship is not progressing.. We kiss at the end of each date.. We've hang out at her place once and I've been on 4 dates. Talk on the phone every other night.. Thing is she has a 6yr old son. She introduced me to him, everything seems fine.. Do you think her son has anything to do with it?I'm somewhat of a shy person about being aggressive in a relationship. I want her to touch my hand.. Rub my arm or back during the date.. I'm doing all of that and am getting little in return.. We have good conversation and at the end of the date she kisses me like you wouldn't believe.. But that's it? She doesn't invite me in at the end of the date and talks little about anything sexual. What can I do to turn up heat. I really like this girl but don't want the relationship to burn out.

[elveden]

Well communication is vital.. and from what you say about her having a 6yr old son, i'm guessing she was in a fairly serious relationship before she met you? If this is so, then it's natural for her to feel anxious about imposing another father figure on her son too early on. Often the appearance of a new parent for a child can be distressing. She may also still be getting over her previous partner. All you can do is talk to her about where she'd like to go with this relationship. Ask to meet up somewhere nice and quiet, and be honest. Tell her what you'd like to happen in the future..

[passions1]

The thing with ladies in terms of wanting to heat it up to your pace & expectations, is very difficult & you will just have to try not think about it as much. Focus on other things than stuff that is sexual, but things that are more important to her & anything romantic.

 

You gotta show that you have a deeper side versus as some kind of guy who just wants to get into her pants. You must respect when she is ready to have sex, don't push anything on her, otherwise it'll end up backfire in return.

 

I'm sure her son is a critical part. If she's a good mother, she'll be more sensitive to her child's view of the men she brings home as well! Also in terms of being respectful to the child, she may not want to be doing adult activities while the chiild is around in the first place!

[jna35]

I agree with Elveden. Also, it doesn't seem like you've been dating very long, so perhaps she's not ready to "turn up the heat" at this point in your relationship. I would be honest with her about your feelings, but don't push. She does have a 6 yr. old and perhaps she's afraid to get too serious because of that. It gets a bit more complicated when kids are involved. If you like her then my suggestion would be to take it slow and let her gauge the speed.

[elveden]

Couldn't have put it better myself

[ehm doubleyou]

If you want to be in a relationship with her and do not mind that she has a child why not show that you are interested by taking her and her son out and see how it pans out( if you have not already) for you cause if you do get ionvolved with her than its obvious that the son will be involved. She may be holding off cause she may not want to have her son get used to you and then all the sudden you two break up...She probably is taking this real slow for her sons sake.

 

mw

[tojusthavefun1976]

I'm worried that maybe she is just really shy and doesn't know how to get things moving? She says she is outgoing but I don't see that.. If you are saying I should just let it ride, that ok to. I just don't want this relationship to die do to something I'm doing wrong..

[ehm doubleyou]

Maybe the problem is both of you are too shy to make the first move beyond kissing...Honestly sit her down and be straight up with each other and say whats on your mind....and I do not mean when are we gonna have sex....You seem to be very accepting that she has a child and all...which women think is really cool for a guy. I have a feeling this is because of her child and she doesnt want him to get attached too soon...just in case it does not work out.

[chai714]

How bout taking her to your pad, since she seems uncomfortable with you at her house? The key here, is making her feel comfortable. If by a month or so of dating you she's not comfortable around you - either talking about sex, or becoming more sexual, she might have issues that are beyond your control (aka, get out or help her with her issues).

 

Next time you see her, kiss her during the date. See how she reacts. You need to establish boundaries with her. You do this by getting to the point to where she says, "no" or something like it. But as a tactic, you want her to feel comfortable about the place where you are going to "get your groove on." Remember, the key is how you make her feel. She sounds shy, maybe even childish but you're 29 years old and I can understand how you can feel that you need to "get things going" here.