What can I do to make him understand?

[shy_gal200]

Hello there, I put a question on here a while back and things aren't getting any better, if anything, I feel they are getting worse. I have been married a little over two years and recently found out we are going to have a baby. I just feel like we aren't married anymore, we don't have make love hardly anymore, we hardly ever spend any time together, we can't have a normal conversation with out arguing about somthing, maybe I am just being paronoid, as my husband says. But I just feel that things are going to have to change soon or I don't see this relationship going anywhere but down, further down then it is already. Can anyone help, I really want this marriage to work, like I said I really really love him, and he says he loves me as well. I just don't know what to do! I have tryed to make him understand what I am feeling, but nothing seems to change, does anyone have any ideas for me? Thanks!

[hoppy26]

im not married....but maybe this will help.

 

sit him down(without any distractions) and tell him what you feel.(id die for an honest woman). tell him this is serious and you of course want to work on things. this has to be done buy the both of you....equally.

give and take and come to an happy medium. maybe you two are due for a weekend away.....alone. i like to call it a "gormet weekend".

get a nice room, dress sharp, treat yourself to a nice dinner, take a nice bath together. dress sexy for him. have "gormet sex".....not just your on the whim sex. take your time, enjoy it, explore. hope this maybe will help you. i think its good for any relationship. married or not

[segagirl]

Well many couples find themselves in you're spot. It is tough for me to lead you the in the right direction without knowing what his response behavior looks like. When you say he does not understand, what does that mean?

Does he not think its true, is he happy...etc etc.

then I would say yes to a sit down, without blame...just this is what I need and this is what i am willing to do to get it. If you have already done this, and he feels the same about your relationship then maybe talking to someone who can help you learn about any underlying issues could help. Also did this start before you were pregnant? It would be great if you could share a little extra light for me...or let me know what the old post is..

[pi_anochik]

I agree with hoppy and sega. It sounds to me like your relationship may be getting a bit stagnant. You both need to have a real heart to heart and both of you need to be completely honest with one another and tell the other how you feel.

[solstice48]

By any & all means talk! Communcation is one of the most improtant things in any relationship. My wife left after 25 yrs because she wanted to find herself & it was unknown to me what she wanted or why because she never wanted to talk. So I'd say do what you have to to sit down (or whatever works best) & open up to each other or you'll end up guessing what each other might be thinking. It doesn't work & will lead to a lot of misunderstandings &/or assumtions. If needed you might need a counselor or some other professional to steer you in the right direction, but its something that you need to keep at all through the years.

[Nuncio]

There comes a time in every relationship when you have to evaluate it and ask yourself, "What am I getting from this"?. You will never be happy, happiness occurs in short bursts.

If oyu are continually miserable, feeling like there is no connection between the two of you it does not say that either of you have done anything wrong. It only means that it is possible to do everything right and still fail.

I'm truly sorry that there is a child involved, but I don't believe in happiness only love.

Try to connect with each other, if you can't you may be flogging a dead horse.